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My only way out

  • 08-02-2010 12:25am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I was in in a long-term relationship for 8 years. Things weren't really workin out, I just got tired of all the effort I had to put in.

    I didn't really have any major problems with the girl per say. Anyway I was going through the cringe breakup speech, and I inevitably got the questions about why I felt that way.

    I couldn't bring myself to tell my ex that I was sick of it all, so I told her I was gay in a moment of stupidity. The problem is that I am not. I dont want her to start telling people now about something I made up as an easy get out clause.

    I have been with alot of girls since I broke up with her. I also like a few of her friends, so dont want to ruin any future chances with them (We share the same circle of friends)


Comments

  • #2
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    guest82343 wrote: »
    I was in in a long-term relationship for 8 years. Things weren't really workin out, I just got tired of all the effort I had to put in.

    I didn't really have any major problems with the girl per say. Anyway I was going through the cringe breakup speech, and I inevitably got the questions about why I felt that way.

    I couldn't bring myself to tell my ex that I was sick of it all, so I told her I was gay in a moment of stupidity. The problem is that I am not. I dont want her to start telling people now about something I made up as an easy get out clause.

    I have been with alot of girls since I broke up with her. I also like a few of her friends, so dont want to ruin any future chances with them (We share the same circle of friends)

    I think you've pissed on your chips regards your mutual female mates. I'd just forget about any chances with them.

    Regards the gay thing. I'd tell your mutual mates what you did. Tell your ex too. I'd be fairly sure she's already told a lot of them your reason anyway


  • #3
    mobilecore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 140 ✭✭mobilecore


    hahah.
    Sorry mate but saying you were gay? lol. Thats like the lamest excuse i have ever heard :P Reminds me what Homer Simpson said '3 simple words...i am gay' :P

    But seriously since you were with the girl for 8 years its a bad thing to say to her on breakup. Reason being is (and I dont mean to give you such a "P.C." answer) I think after 8 years, but especially knowing it wasnt a bad breakup (cheating etc) it would of been best to be honest. Only be careless to people who screw with your heart. But whats done is done I guess.

    As for her mates I would agree you have probably burned your bridges with them. If you're with someone for 8 years a friend of theirs might be uncomfortable with being with you - even if they secretly wouldnt be (lets face facts. we all know about friends and ex's - rarely loyalty to a mate) But that would probably be their offical answer tho. As for the gay thing its pretty certain your ex has already been telling her friends that you said you were gay. Don't assume she hasnt. You would be wrong and also dont assume she believed your lie. You would be even more wrong.

    You have to face the reality that although you might'nt realise it and although her friends might'nt feel the same as your ex does towards you. Your name has been blackened by your ex or at least tried to.

    So if you want to try to get with a friend... its your call. rather i think its selfish (again, she didnt screw with your heart. if she did its open season) just expect your ex to find out about it and put pressure on a friend to end to it. You did say you share the same group of friends. One of the ex's friends would probably be more concered with the group falling out with her, than upsetting your ex. You're in a no win situation mate. Even if... IF... you got with a friend of the ex - you'd create trouble down the line for yourself cause it would really show alot of interigity from the friend by doing that. Aka, someone you wouldnt want to date.


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