Personal Writing Full Mark Essay??

Zoticon

Could someone who did their Junior Cert higher level english exam and got full marks in their Personal writing section,
please please post their essay
i really need to see what a full mark essay looks like
so i can compare mine and see what i am doing wrong and where i need to improve

thanks in advance

ok to be a bit clearer, a short story plz because i plan on writing a short story only

Rossie17

I got 9 As 2 Bs at HL but I got my Bs in irish/eng so cant help you :pac:

Zoticon

9 As:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
omg thats brilliant!!!!!!!!

can u get ur paper back after the exam????

pathway33

Copied and pasted from the chief examiners report 2006 higher level. Available on www.examinations.ie

“The pet I would most like to keep”
Answer:

[/B]

The Crocodile
“The pet I would most like to keep?” repeated John, running a hand over his stubbly head.
“A crocodile”.
“A crocodile? Here in Dublin? It’s too cold!” I laughed.
“I didn’t say I would get one, you tool”” he responded.
“C’mon, this is boring! Let’s go kick a football around or something!” I whined. John’s room
smelt like a rubbish tip, and looked like it had been through the Blitz.
“Okay” he said.
John is my best mate and he is completly mental. If he’s not blowing out amplifiers with his
guitar, he’s blowing up his sister’s Barbie dolls with fireworks. That’s probably why I should
have realised that he would do something like this. He blames me for putting the idea in his
head dispite the fact you would need a bicycle pump if you wanted to put an idea in his brick
brain. I blame him for being an eejit. You can blame who you want.
It was a sunny day as I strolled to Johns house after school. I couldn’t hear any fireworks or
see any globs of melted plastic. Something was very wrong. I finally reached his house and
rapped on the door.
“Here, 50 Cent, stop your rappin’ and get in ! The doors open.” I stepped in to the hallway,
a dark contrast to the bright light outside.
“John”” I shouted.
I ran up the stairs two at a time. Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump. His mother wasn’t
here otherwise I would be out the front door and flat on my face. I walked carefully up to
John’s door. The door squeaked slowly as I swung it open. I couldn’t see John.
Something burst from his closet and leaped at me. I screamed.
“Wake up.”
A voice sang through the smoke.
I groaned and pulled myself to my feet.
“Sorry. I thought it’s chain was shorter than that.”
Chain?
I looked in the closet. A toothy grin shone out.
No. I banged my head too hard.
“I call him snappy because he my sister’s Barbies.”
“You cannot be serious.” I sighed.
“No, it ate all of them,” said John. “It coughed up a head.”
“Not the Barbies. You have a crocodile!” I shouted.
“Where did you get the crocodile” I questioned.
“Argos catalogue” said John.
“Hah. Better question. Why did you get one?”
“It was just lying there.”
“When are you getting rid of it?”
“Why get rid of it? It can eat Baz!”
Baz was the stereotypical thug of our area.
“And no one would notice?” I said innocently.
“No one would care,” grinned John.
I looked at the crocodile again. It was four foot of green scales, teeth, claws and other sharp
bits.
“Why not buy a hamster?” I said.
“Hamsters can’t through a table leg,” he replied.

65

I noticed his desk was a bit lopsided.
“I’ll bring him into school.”
“WHAT?” I shouted.
“If I leave him here he might eat the cat.”
“What if he eats a person at school?”
“I’ll see you on the bus.”
I sighed. At least tomorrow would be interesting.
I saw John at the bus stop. No crocodile. He set his bag down on the pavement and opened it
very carefully. He threw a string of sausages inside and closed it quickly.
The bag began thrashing about like two cats fighting in a bin. Or a croc fighting with a string
of sausages.
“You didn’t.”
“Of course I did. I am a man of honours!” smiled John.
“Bring it home” I said suppressing my need to roundhouse kick that smile off his face.
“It will be fine. I promise.”
“Just don’t let him out.”
“What if he needs to stretch his legs?”
“What if he eats Mr Ford? We’d get detention for the rest of the year.”
“Fine” John said, rolling his eyes.
The bus, noisy dirty and old, pulled up.
“This is it” I said.
This IS it,” he grinned.
Naturally the minute we got to class John let it out. “Why are you late?” boomed Mr Ford.
Mr Ford is the kind of person who hates kids yet still becomes a teacher. As he glared at us
his nostrils flared and we could see the tufts of wiry hair stick out. His bald spots shined at us
As if he whole body nostril hair and bald spot included was trying to intimidate. His anger
came off him in waves.
“The exhaust pipe fell off the bus” I ventured.
“No excuse. I’ll have your journals now!” I noticed how his grin looked exactly like
Snappy’s.
As I sat down I realised that everyone was very quiet. I followed their eyes to the crocodile
who was stealthily making his way towards the teacher’s desk.
I mouthed a message to John – Do something!
“Ah I see our latecomers are now having a conversation!”. Mr Ford stepped briskly towards
us, missing Snappy’s tail by inches. While Mr Ford berated us Snappy lay down under the
teacher’s desk, his scales blending with the horrible itchy carpet. Mr Ford wheezed as he sat
down. Snappy looked at his leg with a gleam in his eye. John threw a ring of sausages to the
croc. It chewed them up gracefully.
For the next three hours Mr Ford could have dressed up as a clown and inflate a rubber
glove with his nose and no-one would have noticed. All eyes were on Snappy as he ate string
after string of sausages. At 11, we took him to the river and made him make his way home.
“Why didn’t you we just let him take a chunk out of Ford?” said John.
“Because if we did, we would have to clean up the mess,” I replied.
Touché

Comment:

A well-written essay with a distinctive personal style. The witty conversational phrases are
well balanced against the structured, easy narrative. This writer knows what he/she is doing
and manages to captivate the reader who has a sense of the uniqueness of this piece.

Marking: Grade A, 68 ex 70

qwerty2

I don't have any essays on this computer anymore unfortunately, but I can give you a few pointers on what really helped me with my JC English last year (got an A couldn't believe it! ) When preparing for the exam, if you look at the essay titles from each year, there's always one that you can use to fit a childhood memory sort of essay! I had three pre-prepared for my exams (all A grades marked by my teacher!) and on the day just used the one that fittest best! The key to writing essays for the JC as I'm sure you know is not to write one of those long winding adventure stories that we all wrote as kids! It's much more effective to simply focus on one snapshot/scene and learn to create an atmosphere/setting, tone and mood for that scene. Pick your title, write a plan and focus mainly on your vocabulary and use of language! Most of the marks come from your style of writing, which only comes with practice and reading lots of good books!