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I am being walked all over

  • 06-02-2010 6:55pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have always been passive. Let people walk all over me. Never speak up for myself. Out of this i don't get respect. At least that's what i think the cause is. At 27, i don't need this.

    At home, my sister is paranoid and blames everything on me. I turn aggressive. Its not fair on her but then its not fair on me either being blamed for things i didn't do or if i don't do anything she thinks i am out to get her. Real paranoia. It wasn't a once off, she was at it for months and i couldn't take it anymore from her so i stopped talking to her, so as not to give her an excuse to blame me.

    I am passive at work also. I can take critism fairly well. But if any type of situation comes up in which i don't agree with, i keep it to myself and never speak up. I never challenge anyone. I can take critism fairly well, i.e. critism regarding work. But some people i work with overstep that and put me down personally. This really gets me down, i feel useless. But don't know how to speak up, so i just walk off if they get me down. Its happens quite alot.

    I don't like it in work and hoping to back to college this year but how do i make the next 6months bearable? I don't want to be put down. I think some kind of assertiveness course would help me. Or will it? Has anyone any experience of them? I saw a couple of them but they are €950 euros. Its money i dont have. Has anyone read up books and can recommend a couple? I think doing some kind of course or reading self help books will also help, in that i can use it in my new career.


Comments

  • #2
    Angus Og
    Closed Accounts Posts: 401 ✭✭Angus Og


    You don't have to take it, it is as simple as that. I swear the moment you stand up for yourself you will feel great. What is it that frightens you so? You don't like these people anyway.

    I wouldn't spend all of that money. Get used to standing up for yourself now, using people you dislike anyway.


  • #3
    MsHolloway
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 112 ✭✭MsHolloway


    Nobody has the right to put you down, OP, nobody.

    I have the same problem as you and it gets me very angry. I've really started talking up for myself now. It is tough, especially when you become so used to behaving in a certain way, I completely get that. But the current behaviour only leads to you feeling bad about yourself, so whats the worst that could happen if you just talked up for yourself now and again? To be honest I was mostly angry at myself for letting people treat me that way.

    At work, nobody can make comments about you personally or your personal life. This is normally seen as a huge NONO at most workplaces (or at least it should be). Next time someone says something out of line about you personally, say in a loud blunt voice "EXCUSE ME???" and stare them dead in the eyes. I know this is tough, believe me I do. But you need to start thinking more of yourself, you do NOT deserve to be treated that way, so don't let them do it!


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