Female Friend Annoys me - what should I do?

LegacyUser

I'm a bloke, in mid to late 20s. A couple of years back I met a girl that I really liked, she liked me. But she stopped it very very suddenly once it only started going beyond 'just friends'. Fair enough, I respect that if she's not ready for a relationship etc. So we continued our friendship, but kept it as friendship.

But she has started to really annoy me lately. I feel that she does not really respect me or my opinions. I feel she tries to put me into a certain box (if you know what I mean). I thought we were very close friends. We'd really enjoy each others company and have common interests. In the last while I found out that she's been consistently been lieing to me and at the same time asking me advice she never seriously considered. Despite me sincerely trying my best to help her at all times.

I don't think it's got to do with not being with her in a romantic way. She's had a couple of flash in the pan boyfriends in the past while. Generally they all have treated her like rubbish. The more I got to know her the more I realised that she'd be a disaster of a girlfriend for me. She cheats on blokes. She is quiet insecure and will change her mind all the time (eg. has an opinion on an issue, and then change it just to be accepted by others - usually a bloke).

This is it really. We all have our flaws. But some of her flaws are starting to really get annoying. She is very insecure and is getting validation by seeing this bloke who I know as a complete assh0le. He's treated her like muck, publicly humiliated her, spread lies about her (I've not told her the worst of the ones I've heard). Yet, she's totally obsessed with him. Nice blokes don't get a look in. It's not that I'm interested. But it's still annoying to see this pathetic cr@p. Especially as she comes to me for advice and never had any intention of actually listening to me.

I wish she could just grow up and cop on. I would like to continue being friends with her, but at the moment I really don't want to see her. That sounds terrible, especially I'd have said we where best friends, or at least I thought so.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Should I just take time out? I've not seen her for about 2 months now and right now I'm not sure I'm really bothered. Should I just cop on and accept people for all their flaws? I do my best to do this and to be understanding. But sometimes I feel I'm being walked over as the friend that has to listen and be understanding. Is it time I stood up, not be taken for granted and just not bother with her cr@p.

Kevster

I have been in this situation - yes - and the simple thing for you to do is to regard her as no longer being in your present or future. Just move on. Don't be hopeful that she ius ever going to change. The seeds were set for this 'collision' the moment you both agreed to be friends instead of forming a romantic relationship.

So, it's time to move on - Delete her number(s), email address(es), etc, and get in wit your life. Don't let this nonsense hold/drag you back any longer.

Kevin

Angus Og

If she hasn't come looking for you in two months, it's safe to say that she doesn't even value you as a doormat anymore.

There are plenty of women out there looking for a man like you, and I don't think you should waste any more time with this one.

If you're still friends there's no harm in being a shoulder to cry on, but you have to think of your own happiness. Relationships are a two-way street.

LegacyUser

I'm not romantically interested. As I said she's a disaster and I'd not go near her in that way.

Main thing annoying me is the lies she was telling me and how it all seems a one-way street. I have been in touch over the past while. Just not seen her for two months.

I'm not going to delete numbers as I did that before and she just texts me and wonders why have I not been in touch. That's just silly. She's still a good friend. My point is that it's just annoying me at the moment how silly she can be. I'm just sick of being treated as a doormat, but not even a doormat you've to be up front and honest with. So it's worse than a doormat.

Redpunto

People can drift apart from one another as friends - its just a fact of life. Friendship like a relationship should be a two way street, you should feel you're getting something from it too and by the sounds of it you're not.