should i walk away?

islandswan

Hi all,
looking for some advice, im currently dating a guy and we are 5 years together,im 23 hes 29. I moved to his home town with him 4 years ago with him and opened up a business which is ticking along and that iv put my heart and soul into! From the day we met iv always been funding him, paying his credit card, rent, clothes nights out bought him a motorbike etc etc.

He lost his job 16 months ago which i know was hard for him but he hasnt had one since and to be honest isnt trying very hard, we dont have children or a house together infact we live in a mobile home on his site! i dont mind this as its close by my workplace and its clean warm and dry!

i feel like hes always taking from me and at my age i have to do everyhing cleaning washing etc etc and still he comes to me for money saying hes broke etc etc. He drinks every night approx 4-6 can or a nagen of vodka and it doesnt knock a stab out of him, his latest thing is these legal highs from the head shop! When hes on these he is up all night long watching porn and drinking and them comes to bed in the early hours i got so fed up of this that i told him if i caught him on them again that i would break up with him and he PROMISED he wouldnt!

I came home from work late last night and he told me just so you know i went into the herbal shop and bought some liquid that you put into a drink and its not as strong and i took it! So much for the promise i went to bed at 12 and he came down at 5 and woke me up telling me he was cold so then he got up again and came back down at 7 and started asking for sex,i had no more interest than the man on the moon! i got up for work to find he had drunk 6 cans and my bottle of wine aswell. He apoligised at lunch and said that i wasnt really holding up my end of the bargain (having more sex with him) so i just said forget it.


I find him attractive somtimes but i dont think i love him anymore and i dont want to have sex with him either, He wants to move abroad for good but i couldnt leave my family for good, and if i break up with him im going to have to move my business also as im only staying in this place for him. Advice greatly appriciated xxxx

Angus Og

Leave him. He's a lout, and he's taken you for a ride and now it's time for him to get off the gravy train. You deserve better.

LegacyUser

god sounds awful. truthfully i think it is better to walk away sooner than later and not waste more of your time. He is unemployed so he is getting the dole im guessing. with not many bills its not that bad to live on especially with you supporting him. he is broke because he is drinking his, and your, money away. it is easy for me to say walk away because im not emotionally involved but think of this way, would you prefer to walk away now and keep your sanity, or wait months down the line for him to finally drive you away? you have a job now and a business and im guessing you have some base. I always think of what would happen if i got pregnant, would i be happy to be tied to him forever? and the line about sex, you not fulfilling your part? If i could i would shag my boyfriend every minute of every day but he has a different drive to me and i dont hold that agianst him, i dont slate him for not "fulfilling his duties". I think you just need someone elses persective and it doesnt look good. he is a sponger, you're doing all the housework, you dont even find him attractive all the time. At 23 and spending so much time together it is hard to break away but you seem worth so much more, you have so much more to live for and sometimes it is better to be alone than to be with someone who drains your energy and your resources. Basically you would be better off financially, and emotionally, and open yourself up to the possibility of meeting someone who deserves you and treats you like yu deserve. I know Im judging by what you say but does he have redeeming qualities? best of luck! You are strong enough to survive on your own and sometimes what is hard now and unthinkable ends up working out for the best.

Redpunto

quick answer,, yes. do you want to spend the next 50 years with this person. You deserve better.

theg81der

I just called my husband in and said I`d found his ideal doormat woman. Seriously you sound like an amazing woman you don`t have to take this crap any guy would be queing up - free bikes, free cooking and cleaning service, willing to live in a caravan etc... . The questions not should you leave, its why on earth haven`t you left a long time ago?