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NEED ADVICE: Should i wait?

  • 02-02-2010 05:26PM
    #1
    Marty McFly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,224 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok here goes ive known this woman for about a year now and we get on brilliantly theres an obvious chemistry between us and she admits she has feelings for me but says for the momment she just wants to stay friends her eads not in the right place for anything more, now ive asked her is she just trying to let me down gently and told her to be honest like i wouldnt mind but she insists she likes me moe than a friend but cant be any more than friends for now. I suspect she has confidance issues. Also she tells me i shouldnt wait around for her because she cant guarante me anything. Im just wondering what people think? Should i wait and see or just move on?


    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    e04bf099
    Closed Accounts Posts: 225 ✭✭e04bf099


    Be friends, but look elsewhere. I wouldn't get involved even if she was interested because she is just messing you around. But I wouldn't break up the friendship. Never know, she might grow up some day.


  • #3
    TheGreenGiant
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 300 ✭✭TheGreenGiant


    luvbulmers01 wrote: »
    Ok here goes ive known this woman for about a year now and we get on brilliantly theres an obvious chemistry between us and she admits she has feelings for me but says for the momment she just wants to stay friends her eads not in the right place for anything more, now ive asked her is she just trying to let me down gently and told her to be honest like i wouldnt mind but she insists she likes me moe than a friend but cant be any more than friends for now. I suspect she has confidance issues. Also she tells me i shouldnt wait around for her because she cant guarante me anything. Im just wondering what people think? Should i wait and see or just move on?


    Thanks

    Hmmm I was in your exact predicament up until recently. I made the choice of waiting for her as we both said we really liked each other. But the real reason I put so much thought and effort into her is because I fell for her...simple as and I wanted to give her a chance. Like yourself, her head wasn't right after a break up she had but I was willing to give her the time and space that she needed to get through it. But I learned a very valuable lesson in this. If your waiting for over 2-3 months and nothing really is, I suppose moving along where you feel that she is wanting you to ask her out, and feels comfortable around you, like asking her out for a meet up or what ever, I would get the hell out of there, because your only gonna get hurt and thats exactly what happened to me.

    The above poster is bang on about just staying as friends. I got messed around and when you know someone likes you but they don't act on their feelings towards you, its really disheartening. As a friend said to me, if she really and truly liked you, there should be no problems and she would be running head over heels for you. Never get to the point where you are running into a brick wall.


  • #4
    Peggypeg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 578 ✭✭✭Peggypeg


    luvbulmers01 wrote: »
    Ok here goes ive known this woman for about a year now and we get on brilliantly theres an obvious chemistry between us and she admits she has feelings for me but says for the momment she just wants to stay friends her eads not in the right place for anything more, now ive asked her is she just trying to let me down gently and told her to be honest like i wouldnt mind but she insists she likes me moe than a friend but cant be any more than friends for now. I suspect she has confidance issues. Also she tells me i shouldnt wait around for her because she cant guarante me anything. Im just wondering what people think? Should i wait and see or just move on?


    Thanks

    Hey OP, My advice would be to keep her as a friend but to see other people if you want to. I think the girl is being as honest as she can be, it sounds likes she's not in a place to be in a relationship but she likes you and thinks maybe she'd like something in the future. I think that is very honest of her and if you really really really like her maybe hang around as her friend til she's in a better place. On the other hand, if someone comes along that you like more I would go for it. I know I'll sound like a bitch but I'd tend to prefer someone without confidence issues and who's head is very much together, but that's just my personal preference maybe it wouldn't bother you? I think it really comes down to how much you like her, love = wait around indefinately, like very very very much = give it a couple months, like a bit = move on. That would be my advice.

    Best of luck, whatever you decide.


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