My gf constantly mucks up fligh plans

Kid Curry

Quick summary. My gf always makes a balls of her flights and I just completely lost my temper.

In the 3 years we're together she has missed over 7 flights for various reasons. Here are some examples.

1. She was late to the airport.
2. She mixed up the days.
3. She didn't book the return flight.
4. She got to the airport but forgot her boarding pass
5. She printed out a boarding pass for the wrong day
6. She pays for a flight but got the dates wrong so she has to rebook the flight for the right day but the flight she booked are non refundable.
7. She arrives at the airport but she never booked the flight in the first place.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

Why don't you book the flights then? And hold onto her passport and boarding pass for her?!

L31mr0d

Kid Curry wrote: »

Quick summary. My gf always makes a balls of her flights and I just completely lost my temper.

What is that quote from Dubya go like: "fool me once... shame... shame on you... you ain't gonna fool me again"

If your gf has trouble with organizing flights why aren't you looking after it for both of you? It seems she hasn't once forgotten her passport.

Next time you book the flights, and maybe stay over at her place the night before leaving. Simples.

shapez

Bryn wrote: »

Why don't you book the flights then? And hold onto her passport and boarding pass for her?!

Exactly. My wife even admits she would be nervous of something going wrong/missing. So, I take it upon myself to make sure everything runs smoothly. Of course it works both ways, she's better at other things while on holidays than I am.

shapez

Kid Curry wrote: »

Quick summary. My gf always makes a balls of her flights and I just completely lost my temper.

In the 3 years we're together she has missed over 7 flights for various reasons. Here are some examples.

1. She was late to the airport.
2. She mixed up the days.
3. She didn't book the return flight.
4. She got to the airport but forgot her boarding pass
5. She printed out a boarding pass for the wrong day
6. She pays for a flight but got the dates wrong so she has to rebook the flight for the right day but the flight she booked are non refundable.
7. She arrives at the airport but she never booked the flight in the first place.

I think there might be a lacking of something here too... Communication.

Raytown Rocks

Maybe she just doesnt want to go away with you......;)

Mr. Presentable

I take it this only happens when she's flying to visit you............:pac:

The Corinthian

Is this kind of 'incompetence' (for lack of better term) only with flights or is it evident in other areas of her life?

homerun_homer

You should buy her a one way ticket to dumpsville, population her. You could make sure she doesn't miss that flight.

CDfm

Bryn wrote: »

Why don't you book the flights then? And hold onto her passport and boarding pass for her?!

THats soo simple - I have that done for me.

I book my work holidays and confirm them to my girlfriend and the fairies do the rest I believe.

EL_Loco

My sister is a bit useless like that too. She lives in london. She would ring me and tell me the dates. I'd book her flight and send her the confirmation.

She's doing it herself now, and only messed it up once. god bless her.

So, do it for her for a bit, maybe it'll embarrass her into getting her act together. If not, maybe she'll do something for your that you're not too good at.

metrovelvet

Is she stressed? I went through a 3 year period if doing things like that. I missed 6 consecutive flights, one was by three days. I'm still always the last person on the plane. The last two times were not my fault.

In future you should do the bookings and run the show. Travel can bring out some major anxieties and sometimes people just shut down.

BumbleB

Kid Curry wrote: »

Quick summary. My gf always makes a balls of her flights and I just completely lost my temper.

In the 3 years we're together she has missed over 7 flights for various reasons. Here are some examples.

1. She was late to the airport.
2. She mixed up the days.
3. She didn't book the return flight.
4. She got to the airport but forgot her boarding pass
5. She printed out a boarding pass for the wrong day
6. She pays for a flight but got the dates wrong so she has to rebook the flight for the right day but the flight she booked are non refundable.
7. She arrives at the airport but she never booked the flight in the first place.

dont be hard on her ,she could get extremely nervous when it comes to booking flights ,as her responsible and loving boyftriend maybe you should overlook or even complete the booking from now on .

CDfm

BumbleB wrote: »

dont be hard on her ,she could get extremely nervous when it comes to booking flights ,as her responsible and loving boyftriend maybe you should overlook or even complete the booking from now on .

:eek: it just occured to me that he doesnt get the opportunity to be loving. Very freudian of me.

Emme

Has she got a fear of flying?

mood

Buy her a Filo Fax or something similar for her next present!

enda1

Kid Curry wrote: »

Quick summary. My gf always makes a balls of her flights and I just completely lost my temper.

In the 3 years we're together she has missed over 7 flights for various reasons. Here are some examples.

1. She was late to the airport.
2. She mixed up the days.
3. She didn't book the return flight.
4. She got to the airport but forgot her boarding pass
5. She printed out a boarding pass for the wrong day
6. She pays for a flight but got the dates wrong so she has to rebook the flight for the right day but the flight she booked are non refundable.
7. She arrives at the airport but she never booked the flight in the first place.

How many times has she gotten it right in 3 years though?

I mean is she a frequent flyer with a few flights a week? Unless so, yeah maybe start booking the flights for her and maybe making her a check-list of things to bring on journeys including timing for buses, taxis, airport queues etc.

The Corinthian

enda1 wrote: »

I mean is she a frequent flyer with a few flights a week?

If you're taking two three flights a week, then seven missed flights over three years is not that big a deal, but I get the impression that she does not fall into this category.

Unless so, yeah maybe start booking the flights for her and maybe making her a check-list of things to bring on journeys including timing for buses, taxis, airport queues etc.

Be careful going down this road...

Earlier in this thread, I asked the OP (who has since vanished) if flights were the only area she had this issue or if she had a habit of screwing up elsewhere in her life. The reason being that I've observed this kind of behaviour from people who were often spoilt when young and thus they 'screw up' so as to get others to take over responsibility for them.

They can't book/organize their flights properly? Someone takes over for them. They can't load the dishwasher correctly (perhaps even causing an accident)? Someone does it for them in future. They burn everything they cook? Someone else takes over the cooking... and so on.

Of course, it may also be stress related, but if so you need to identify the cause of the stress and whether the cause is reasonable - some use, or invent, stress as an excuse for a lot of antisocial behaviour. However genuine stress can cause a lot of problems where it comes to people simply keeping 'on top' of things.

So if it is caused by genuine stress, then helping her overcome this is the solution, while helping her with her flights in the meantime. If it is not caused by real stress and such behaviour is limited to flights, on the other hand, then you organize those in future and she can make up for it in other ways. But if such behaviour is it is not caused by real stress and not limited to flights then that's just how she is and the OP needs to decide if he is happy to become her servant in the long run.

Kid Curry

I posted that yesterday when I was in a hurry and I was frustrated as you can tell from the spelling in the title of the thread.

Basically her parents live abroad so she visits them a few times a year so she would normally travel alone and makes her own arrangements.

The latest incident I was with her and she forgot to book the return flight FFS:mad:! But when she makes the mistake I pick up the tab so it cost me over €700 in flights.

Look, it's basically down to carelessness and lack of concentration. She doesnt have to pay, she doesnt have to be back in time for work etc so if she misses a flight she's put out by a few hourse and thats it.

Anyway, I'm cutting her off. She pays for her own flights from now on.

enda1

Kid Curry wrote: »

I posted that yesterday when I was in a hurry and I was frustrated as you can tell from the spelling in the title of the thread.

Basically her parents live abroad so she visits them a few times a year so she would normally travel alone and makes her own arrangements.

The latest incident I was with her and she forgot to book the return flight FFS:mad:! But when she makes the mistake I pick up the tab so it cost me over €700 in flights.

Look, it's basically down to carelessness and lack of concentration. She doesnt have to pay, she doesnt have to be back in time for work etc so if she misses a flight she's put out by a few hourse and thats it.

Anyway, I'm cutting her off. She pays for her own flights from now on.

Man you're being played.

Get rid of her.

mood

Kid Curry wrote: »

I posted that yesterday when I was in a hurry and I was frustrated as you can tell from the spelling in the title of the thread.

Basically her parents live abroad so she visits them a few times a year so she would normally travel alone and makes her own arrangements.

The latest incident I was with her and she forgot to book the return flight FFS:mad:! But when she makes the mistake I pick up the tab so it cost me over €700 in flights.

Look, it's basically down to carelessness and lack of concentration. She doesnt have to pay, she doesnt have to be back in time for work etc so if she misses a flight she's put out by a few hourse and thats it.

Anyway, I'm cutting her off. She pays for her own flights from now on.

God yes, tell her that you are really pissed off over this and any more you will not foot the bill for her careless mistakes anymore, why should you. That's not on at all. Why does she not have to be back for work?

Any why does she not have to pay?

Kid Curry

mood wrote: »

God yes, tell her that you are really pissed off over this and any more you will not foot the bill for her careless mistakes anymore, why should you. That's not on at all. Why does she not have to be back for work?

Unemployed

The Corinthian

Kid Curry wrote: »

But when she makes the mistake I pick up the tab so it cost me over €700 in flights.

Why the Hell did you have to pick up the tab? If she did not have the money then and there, why did she not pay you back later?

mood

Kid Curry wrote: »

Unemployed

So. I'm unemployed and I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for my foolish mistakes like this. Do you live with and support her as well while she spends her social welfare money on clothes and nights out?

Anyone could make a foolish mistake like this once but they certainly wouldn't make it again and again and again.

The Corinthian

Kid Curry wrote: »

Unemployed

Not your problem, and apparently not hers either seeing as she has chumps like you to potentially feed her.

Class A parasite. They get worse, not better. Lose her quick before you end up stuck with her.

Kid Curry

Kid Curry wrote: »

Unemployed

Don't pay for her anymore. In fact I would make her pay back her half.
She should care that she put you out.

But if she is unemployed for a long time, and unable to concentrate, is it possible that she is depressed?
If so this level of organising might genuinely be too much for her right now.

mood

Why would she bother getting a job when she seem to have a boyfriend who will pick up the tab! I agree with someone who said she was probably spoilt as a child so take no responsibility.

The Corinthian

Moonbaby wrote: »

But if she is unemployed for a long time, and unable to concentrate, is it possible that she is depressed?
If so this level of organising might genuinely be too much for her right now.

That's entirely possible, but even if someone is suffering from depression or stress, it does not give them a carte blanche to behave however they wish.

In this case however, I get the impression that she's just irresponsible and parasitic in nature.

CDfm

Amused with the welcome to Dumpsville Population her posts.

just say she is not depressed - if it happened once you would say ok -i will check and book the tickets and next time go to the airport together

not all scatty people are depressed - she could be on something or drinking way too much or have reading difficulty or just irresponsible

WindSock

Next time you are travelling with her, look after the flights. Let her sort her own flights out when you aren't but tell her if she mucks them up again you are not forking out for her dizziness.

Smallbit

The Corinthian wrote: »

Not your problem, and apparently not hers either seeing as she has chumps like you to potentially feed her.

Class A parasite. They get worse, not better. Lose her quick before you end up stuck with her.

A little blunt, but I can't disagree with the sentiment! I've never had a chump to take care of my mistakes, so I'm very careful when I book flights!

It's seems the OP is 'enabling' his g/f by insulating her from the consequences of her mistakes. Hence she has no reason to change.

However you may find that she will resist any attempt to make her responsible for her mistakes - in which case Corinthian is correct and you should consider ending the relationship.

Depression, Stress, and so on are just handy excuses for carelessness in most cases...

Smallbit

Smallbit wrote: »

Depression, Stress, and so on are just handy excuses for carelessness in most cases...

Feigning a mental illness would be a hell of alot of effort, to get away with being careless don't you think! :rolleyes::rolleyes:

The Corinthian wrote: »

That's entirely possible, but even if someone is suffering from depression or stress, it does not give them a carte blanche to behave however they wish.

In this case however, I get the impression that she's just irresponsible and parasitic in nature.

Personally I don't want to give a person recommendations, on their relationship. Based on tiny snippets of information.
If it is an indication that she is depressed, I would be suggesting that he try get help for her. Rather than give her carte blanche.

CDfm wrote: »

not all scatty people are depressed - she could be on something or drinking way too much or have reading difficulty or just irresponsible

I'm very scatty. I can see myself missing a flight. 6 in a year? That is way past irresponsible.
I think the cause needs to be looked into, is all.

The Corinthian

Smallbit wrote: »

However you may find that she will resist any attempt to make her responsible for her mistakes

Naturally. If she misses a flight and he tells her to fork out herself, she can easily say she does not have the money. What then? Leave her stranded? Spot her the cost on the condition that she repays it? Except she won't or he'll be chasing it for a while.

In the end, the only way you can draw a line is to be brutal and leave her stranded and that is likely to end the relationship and give her a good story about how her ex was a bastàrd for her next resource.

As a character type, it's uncommon but not rare to find, I believe. Think of them as former mammy's boys or daddy's princesses who have never really learned the need for responsibility as there was always someone else there to do that for them. As we learn in childhood how to make our beds, they learn how to get others to make their beds.

Depression, Stress, and so on are just handy excuses for carelessness in most cases...

I can't say most cases, although certainly some. It would be presumption of us to assume most cases without evidence. As such, I wouldn't necessarily dismiss either depression or stress, although even if is is because of these, it does not excuse her either.

In fairness though, we are simply basing this upon a one-sided vent, so we may all be very, very wrong.

The Corinthian

Moonbaby wrote: »

Feigning a mental illness would be a hell of alot of effort, to get away with being careless don't you think! :rolleyes::rolleyes:

She's not feigning Tourette syndrome or schizophrenia - in fact we don't know if she is feigning anything.

Personally I don't want to give a person recommendations, on their relationship. Based on tiny snippets of information.

I did add that caveat in my last post. You just never know what the truth is on the Interweb.

If it is an indication that she is depressed, I would be suggesting that he try get help for her. Rather than give her carte blanche.

As long as she is willing to work on the issue and acts accordingly without procrastinating indefinitely. Otherwise he's wasting his time.

The Corinthian

The Corinthian wrote: »

She's not feigning Tourette syndrome or schizophrenia - in fact we don't know if she is feigning anything.

That was an in relation to the posters stated view on depression, ie. that it is an excuse for carelessness in most cases. Generally speaking.

I don't quite understand if you are trying to say that Depression isn't a debilitating illness. :?
But that is a little off topic. So I'll just agree to disagree.

The Corinthian

Moonbaby wrote: »

I don't quite understand if you are trying to say that Depression isn't a debilitating illness. :?

As in bipolar or unipolar depression? Of course it is and is very, very obvious to anyone living with someone like that. I think the OP may have mentioned something by now if that was the case.

What I meant was that a less extreme form depression is less visible, and also less debilitating. Or just easier to fake or exaggerate if one wanted to.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

CDfm

MMMMMMMMMMM - I am begining to think there is less to the cause of this than meets the eye.

I mean doesn't all this foreign travel make signing on difficult.

So if you are inviting her abroad how does she draw dole-when she is away ????

evolutionqy7

shapez wrote: »

I think there might be a lacking of something here too... Communication.

more like a lack of inteligence...

chef wrote: »

Maybe she just doesnt want to go away with you......;)

possibility :P