Helping the O/H with nerves....

az2wp0sye65487

Looking for some advice here please...

I'm trying to help the O/H to start driving. She had professional lessons in the past & has been out in the car with me a few times (although the lessons were taken a few years back on her 1st provisional. Then she let the licence expire without following it up. But she recently renewed.)

She's a typical beginner/learner driver. Well able to drive, but she just lacks confidence on the road.

The most troubling part is that she is terrified and very very very very very very nervous once she sits in the driving seat. Her whole body becomes rigid when she gets behind the wheel (think of the end of the 'Flight of Terror' Father Ted episode after he climbs out of the plane to repair the broken fuel line )

I know that once she relaxes she'll find it much easier to learn to drive - so I'm asking if anyone has any experience with someone this scared & nervous when learning to drive? What would you suggest to help her relax & just enjoy the privilege of driving?

Thanks...

DrivingTestTips: Brian

HI
Simplify the advice:

Ask her questions and make sure the answers are simple.

You ask her! How do you slow down?
She will say you brake, clutch, change gear, lift clutch, bla bla bla and so on

Your answer! "YOU Brake".

You only change gears when you need and that is where you will give advise.
This type of simple advice is what will help her because she is worrying about everything and as you know experienced drivers do not worry about everything we deal with thing as the arise.

See bellow for more Information which may help...

BrigR

Reminds me very much of myself when I started driving...I used to get physically sick when I knew I had to go out driving, so tense, the muscles hurt the following day and the hands so sweaty and shaking that I sometimes found it hard to keep a firm grip on things.
I don't have a real solution to the problem, I can tell what helped me and it's not a quick fix... Practise, practise and lessons.I found it much easier to take well deserved constructive criticism from my driving instructor rather than from my OH. The OH got nervous when he saw me tensing up and everything just got worse. My tip for you: Stay calm, maybe do the C&C after driving over a cup of tea. What was a revelation for me- I went out with friends visiting from abroad (yes, entiteled to accompany me) and they didn't know how I started and were completely relaxed in the car with me.
But the main thing for her is keep on driving, no matter how bad it feels in the beginning, it does get easier. Good luck to both of you!

greenie

Hi Stevie, unfortunately that feeling will only go away with practice. I think it needs to be baby steps with her to start. Drive her to a large empty area and maybe the lack of cars will eliminate some of her fears.Try and get her confidence up a bit this way then maybe move on to a parking lot with a few cars followed by a quiet residential area. I wouldn't encourage her to drive on the main roads until she herself feels comfortable doing so but definitely praise her for every little step she takes as this will help with her confidence.
I'm not sure if this'll help but it's an option if everything else fails.
I hope it works out for her.:)

ha-ya-said-what

Steviecakes, where about are you living, you may be lucky enough not to be too far away from the place beside me they have a campus driving school where they can deal with the most nervous of drivers to get them used to driving and all that before taking them on the road. They have the full set up just like a road but without the traffic so takes the biggest worry out of learning.

I was like her cos I was in a car crash and an accident due to stupid drivers, had 3 people try show me who didn't tell me anything just scream at me do this do that and not explain anything, it gets wayyy easier when your in a great big open space, nothing around you to worry about coming at you or appearing infront of you and who ever is teaching you is patient and doesn't panic or give out to you!

az2wp0sye65487

Hi,

Sorry for resurrecting an old thread. But looking for more thoughts / advice. Since starting the thread earlier in the year, the O/H has only driven a handful of times since then. Mostly during the summer.

She did her best to avoid driving at all, and I ended up not even suggesting it as it just seemed to make things worse! At one stage while reversing into the garden she backed into the wall, causing some damage (to the car - not the wall)... what's worse though is the confidence that was knocked out of her by that incident.

Anyway, this morning as we were leaving for work I casually said "Do you wanna drive?" - and she did. The funny thing is, this morning was probably the best and smoothest drive to date, but the last time she drove before this morning was well over a month ago!

She is well able to drive, it's just the nerves always seem to get the better of her.

Unfortunately, we can't afford to spend €30+ on lessons with an experienced instructor. So she is stuck with me trying to help her. I know I'm not doing a good job, so I was hoping people here could give ME some tips on how I can best help and encourage a nervous driver.

Thanks.

RedXIV

I realise you may not want to hear this but for me, the fact i was in the car with a licenced instructor was what got rid of my first set of nerves. I was trying to learn with the OH but wasn't really comfortable with the whole thing. Even though I was nervous about driving with an instructor, i was an awful lot more relaxed. also, I definitely second the idea of driving somewhere nice and open away from cars.

Capt'n Midnight

a few lessons in a Dual Control car first and then concentrate on what the instructor says needs to be looked

otherwise be prepared for a few near-death experiences if your partner is one of those people who think they know it all and don't have to listen to you driving

"I'm not screaming at you because I think you are stupid for driving straight through a T junction where the main road swings around to the left, I'm screaming because I don't want to die when someone ploughs into the side of the car"

DrivingTestTips: Brian

Sabrina Agreeable Ukulele wrote: »

Hi,

Sorry for resurrecting an old thread. But looking for more thoughts / advice. Since starting the thread earlier in the year, the O/H has only driven a handful of times since then. Mostly during the summer.

She did her best to avoid driving at all, and I ended up not even suggesting it as it just seemed to make things worse! At one stage while reversing into the garden she backed into the wall, causing some damage (to the car - not the wall)... what's worse though is the confidence that was knocked out of her by that incident.

Anyway, this morning as we were leaving for work I casually said "Do you wanna drive?" - and she did. The funny thing is, this morning was probably the best and smoothest drive to date, but the last time she drove before this morning was well over a month ago!

She is well able to drive, it's just the nerves always seem to get the better of her.

Unfortunately, we can't afford to spend €30+ on lessons with an experienced instructor. So she is stuck with me trying to help her. I know I'm not doing a good job, so I was hoping people here could give ME some tips on how I can best help and encourage a nervous driver.

Thanks.

Hi Stevie

I understand your position and would love to help you and your O/H.

I would recommend you get lessons for you O/H as they are a must, but safety is the first issue.

I would be happy to PM you my number if you wish..

I will give you advice (FREE).
FYI I am a Qualified Driving Instructor.

Brian