Selfish/Inconsiderate Flatmate

LegacyUser

I will try and keep this short....

Please don't take this lightly. My flatmate is the most inconsiderate, selfish person I have ever come across in my life. You would have to meet this person to believe it. Its astonishing!

I have had several problems with this guy but the main one is bills:

When our first esb bill arrived he said he never pay bills on time and will pay it in a month or so. I pointed out that the bill was in both our names and that was unfair as it was affecting my credit rating too. This was ignored. Eventually, two weeks after bill had to be paid, I removed my name from esb account and I went and paid my half. He reacted angrily to this, threatened to move out and said it was a very inconsiderate thing to do!

Now we had to pay a 300 euro deposit to the ESB at the start and I probably wont get my half back.

Two months later, on the day the next bill arrived he wanted my half straight away. I gave it to him but he just spent it and never paid the bill on time. Two letters arrived from ESB saying the bill was outstanding. Doesn't affect me because my name is off the bill.

Now if that isn't bad enough, I am dreading the next ESB bill which is due to arrive next week. We have storage heaters in the apartment and he has started using them ALOT since our last bill. He wants them ALL on ALL the time!!! This is driving me crazy because I find the heat uncomfortable and I am well aware of how much they cost to run.

When he comes home from work he spends most of his time in his bedroom so I can't for the life of me understand why the rest of the place needs to be heated. When I see them on I switch them off. Some of them are not on timers so they are on constantly. The one in his bedroom is often left on for 24 hours. He was away one weekend and I reckon it was on for 2 and half days.

In his previous apartment he was getting esb bills of 300-400. He blamed it on faulty heaters and I believed him at the time but now that I am living with him I can see whats happening.

I did mention to him one day that it was unnecessary to have all heaters on and he just replied "I like having them on". So then I explained that he is going to run up a really high bill and that it was unfair as I am expected to pay half. His response was "If you can't afford it then move out". Now I am not sure if he actually meant that or not as he had a few drinks on him at that stage.

So anyway, I am not sure what to do here! I know if I wait for bill to arrive and tackle him on it he will go nuts and may even walk out! (I learnt recently that he has walked out on two previous leases) I am thinking of saying to him that I will give him the same amount and the rest is his to pay but knowing the guy as I do I don't think he will see the logic in this. If I do that then he will screw me out of deposit.

Another option is to walk out myself, I don't want to as I love the apartment and I would probably loose that deposit too.

This guy is an eccentric and doesn't always see sense and has very little cop on.

Anyway, there are several more issues with this muppet that I could get into but they seem less important than the bills.

What should I do??

I think the easiest option would be to sub-let your room and move out.. If he is likely to leave you in the lurch, then it's just bad luck and I'd get away as soon as possible.

Sounds like a horrible housemate... Very unlucky..

Midnight Sundance

To be honest your sanity is probably worth losing your deposit? It sounds like he's driving you mental,therefore why live with someone who is putting your stomach in knots. Also the bills being so high,you wil eventually make up the money you will lose on deposit by simply living with people who don't run up high bills. Ie instead of paying 200e a month on bills,half that and what you save will eventuallo make up the difference,not to mention your sanity :-)

globemaster1986

Split dude! A flatmate like that will give you a nervous breakdown! I had one before, used to bring ppl back to house for a party when i'd exams the next day etc. Complete tosser only cared about himself and i had to end up giving him a taste of his own!

Curry Addict

this guy sees that u are soft and is taking advantage. he needs a taste of his own medicine. dont pay any rent or bills until u have used up your deposit amounts. u can use such lines as "I like not paying the bills" and put him off continuously with silly excuses. u will then be in the position of power and im sure he will be only glad to compromise. or u could say nothign and just walk away leaving him in the ****.

mood

yvonne23 wrote: »

To be honest your sanity is probably worth losing your deposit? It sounds like he's driving you mental,therefore why live with someone who is putting your stomach in knots. Also the bills being so high,you wil eventually make up the money you will lose on deposit by simply living with people who don't run up high bills. Ie instead of paying 200e a month on bills,half that and what you save will eventuallo make up the difference,not to mention your sanity :-)

Agree.

Anti

Contact the landlord, and have him evicted to be honest.

Dave!

Having a nice apartment is sweet, but I don't think I could suffer a flatmate like that just to have a nice place. I would have thought that living with good people would take priority over living in a really nice apartment? It would for me anyway.

Talk to the landlord if you think you might get any satisfaction, but probably the best thing to do is just move out. There's plenty of nice apartments you can rent.

In the meantime, maybe you can break one of the heaters without him noticing Money saved !

LegacyUser

Thanks for the responses!

I don't see the point in not paying the rent as that affects me and not him. Its awkward as he is a friend (sounds odd I know) but he is also friends with a good friend of mine! It would obviously cause friction etc. But as somebody said to me yesterday the guy is a fire hazard. He went to bed one night leaving the cooker on full blast. Only for the fact that I came in at 2am and spotted it we could all be dead. He left the iron on for an entire weekend while he was away but that was his old place.

Its hard to hate this idiot as on one side of the coin I do have a laugh with him but he has me driven demented.

At first I thought that maybe it was me and that I was overreacting but over the months I can see that he is this way with a lot of people. Its just that I am living with him so its affecting me more.

Penn

the quiet one wrote: »

Thanks for the responses!

I don't see the point in not paying the rent as that affects me and not him. Its awkward as he is a friend (sounds odd I know) but he is also friends with a good friend of mine! It would obviously cause friction etc. But as somebody said to me yesterday the guy is a fire hazard. He went to bed one night leaving the cooker on full blast. Only for the fact that I came in at 2am and spotted it we could all be dead. He left the iron on for an entire weekend while he was away but that was his old place.

Its hard to hate this idiot as on one side of the coin I do have a laugh with him but he has me driven demented.

At first I thought that maybe it was me and that I was overreacting but over the months I can see that he is this way with a lot of people. Its just that I am living with him so its affecting me more.

If he's that good a friend he should have listened to you when you first relayed your concerns to be honest. Talk to him again, tell him you don't want to fight about it, but he's being inconsiderate with the way he's carrying on. If he's still unwilling to change. Stay friends with him if you want, but I'd still advise you to move out

LegacyUser

paddyirishman85 wrote: »

If he's that good a friend he should have listened to you when you first relayed your concerns to be honest. Talk to him again, tell him you don't want to fight about it, but he's being inconsiderate with the way he's carrying on. If he's still unwilling to change. Stay friends with him if you want, but I'd still advise you to move out

Yea, your right! I wouldn't say he was a good friend but a friend all the same. He is a difficult person to talk to about these kind of things. On the occasions that I have tried speaking to him before about this matter and others he just throws it back in my face or says "I am not going to discuss this with you".

I was all set to ring landlord today with the months notice its the beginning of the new month. Perhaps I should wait till this bill arrives next week and if the response is not favourable then move out next month?

This guy is a liar, I would say he has been lying all his life and is accustomed to it now. I have seen him lie on so many occasions and not just to me. He will literally lie his way out of anything. And I am expecting him to say lie to himself and to others that I am as much to blame for this bill as he is.

mood

Just ring landlord and give months notice and tell your flat mate tonight you are moving out because the bill are crazy high and you don't even feel safe considering he leaves irons etc on. Don't row. Just tell him your mind is made up end of.

LegacyUser

mood wrote: »

Just ring landlord and give months notice and tell your flat mate tonight you are moving out because the bill are crazy high and you don't even feel safe considering he leaves irons etc on. Don't row. Just tell him your mind is made up end of.

I decided to wait for the bill and see what his response! Its due next week!

sodaev

the quiet one wrote: »

I decided to wait for the bill and see what his response! Its due next week!

I think it was Albert Einstein who said Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Nothing will change op, just give the notice and move out.

LegacyUser

sodaev wrote: »

I think it was Albert Einstein who said Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Nothing will change op, just give the notice and move out.

I know but the deposit is alot for me to loose out on! A friend pointed out that this bill might not be as bad as I am expecting and that I should wait and see.

LegacyUser

+1 to all the others, just move out OP - doesn't sound like the situation is doing you a whole lot of good, and there's not much point in perpetuating it.

OS119

the quiet one wrote: »

I know but the deposit is alot for me to loose out on! A friend pointed out that this bill might not be as bad as I am expecting and that I should wait and see.

your 'friend' might also have pointed out that the next bill could be a lot worse!

your landlord may also just subtract 'your half' of the utility bills from your deposit should you refuse to pay them, so i'm not sure why you think you'll be so much better off by doing things in an 'upright' way...

certainly talk to your landlard, tell him two straight facts - that the guy is a fire risk, and that he is landing the household with bills you flat out refuse to pay. see what his reaction is: if he does the sensible thing he'll kick the other guy out (or just offer you your deposit to quietly go away), if he's dumb, he'll just tell you to 'sort it out amongst yourselves' and take no further interest as long as he gets the rent every month. the other guy isn't going to be reasonable, and if your landlord reverts to type he'll just take any outstanding utility bills from your deposit regardless of the rights and wrongs of the situation.

give the landlord a chance to sort this situation out, however if he doesn't show any sign of doing so you should 'mad dog': just not pay your half of the rent and use that as a deposit on the next place (morally speaking, your LL broke the contract by not providing you with a safe home and by not addressing a problem you brought to his attention, if you inturn break it by running away its quitsies...). sorry, no 'good' answers, just a 'don't get stumped with massive bills or burned alive in your bed' solution.

LegacyUser

OS119 wrote: »

your 'friend' might also have pointed out that the next bill could be a lot worse!

your landlord may also just subtract 'your half' of the utility bills from your deposit should you refuse to pay them, so i'm not sure why you think you'll be so much better off by doing things in an 'upright' way...

certainly talk to your landlard, tell him two straight facts - that the guy is a fire risk, and that he is landing the household with bills you flat out refuse to pay. see what his reaction is: if he does the sensible thing he'll kick the other guy out (or just offer you your deposit to quietly go away), if he's dumb, he'll just tell you to 'sort it out amongst yourselves' and take no further interest as long as he gets the rent every month. the other guy isn't going to be reasonable, and if your landlord reverts to type he'll just take any outstanding utility bills from your deposit regardless of the rights and wrongs of the situation.

give the landlord a chance to sort this situation out, however if he doesn't show any sign of doing so you should 'mad dog': just not pay your half of the rent and use that as a deposit on the next place (morally speaking, your LL broke the contract by not providing you with a safe home and by not addressing a problem you brought to his attention, if you inturn break it by running away its quitsies...). sorry, no 'good' answers, just a 'don't get stumped with massive bills or burned alive in your bed' solution.

Thanks for your help. The esb bill is not in the Landlords name, its in flatmates name only. I removed my name from it when he refused to pay his half on time when we first moved in. The other bill (ntl) is in my name. We pay rent separately by direct debit.

I didn't really consider the fire hazard aspect. Leaving the heaters on full blast while house is empty and leaving cooker on etc is ridiculous. I would kind of feel a bit odd going directly to landlord to try and get this guy evicted as he is to a certain extent a friend and good friends of a good friend of mine. But maybe its the right thing to do.

When bill arrives, I will offer the same amount that I paid for first two bills which is 85. I might round it up to 100. If he says no I want 200 or whatever it will be then I will contact Landlord or just walk away!

OS119

the quiet one wrote: »

Thanks for your help. The esb bill is not in the Landlords name, its in flatmates name only. I removed my name from it when he refused to pay his half on time when we first moved in. The other bill (ntl) is in my name. We pay rent separately by direct debit.

much as we'd like to think that yer man will get chased for the ESB bill, if its not paid then in the end the LL will have to stump-up for the cash, purely in order to avoid the house getting cut-off. if he knows there's a bill issue when you leave then he'll keep some/all of your deposit to cover that - very few landlords have the time or inclination to delve into the 'who caused what' money vortex of shared houses and they have little need to, they've already got your cash in their pocket...

cancel your DD - bank fcuk-ups are a reliable excuse - and then pay the LL in cash while you seek his help to sort this problem out. if he doesn't help, stop paying rent, look for another place (on a very casual, cash-in-hand, ask no questions, basis if possible) and leg it. then you can look for a place you actually want to live in...

LegacyUser

Got a message on my phone this morning that he is moving out. Not sure what to make of this news. He rang landlord apparently and told the him that I had somebody to replace him!!!! Which I don't!!!

LegacyUser

He also put ALL the heaters on in the apartment before leaving for work!!! I have a feeling I am going to be stung for this massive bill next week and he is setting me up for it!

I rang landlord and explained situation and asked him to meet me for a chat when he gets the chance!