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Hot and Cold already or hard to get? (Bit of a long post)
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01-02-2010 4:35pm#1Good afternoon all
I'll cut straight to it. Was out on a lads night on Sat went to the local pub/club as per usual. I'm a fecker for dancin' so that's where I hit, straight on to the dance :cool: I wasn't on the pull, in fact none of us where, just out for the craic plus one of the lads has a GF. Next thing we noticed a small group of girls dancing towards us, it was still early and there was plenty of room on the dancefloor so we were a bit intrigued to say the least.
As the night went on I caught one of the girls catching my eye a couple times and then hintfully shake her hips towards me - giving me the come on I think - but I was happy as I was so I didn't make an approach to her and continued shakin' my booty
Then as the floor got a bit more crowded she ended up closer along with 2 of her friends and sort of merged in with our circle but we said nothing against it because they weren't bothering us or getting in the way.
Eventually it came to the point where myself and the girl where more or less near threading on toes with each other but we weren't physically dancing WITH each other. Then suddenly she flings herself at me and starts kissing me :eek: I was a bit taken aback and it took me a minute to realise what was happening - a girl had made the 1st move on ME. I was well chuffed with myself So I decided to have a dance with her and be a gent as I am. I then start paying attention to her as the lads were giving me the winks that they were fine without my company. I have to admit she was quite yummy 
and smelled just as gorgeous as her looks too.
Eventually she took me by the hand and out to the smokin' area where we had a good aul chat where I half jokingly got scolded for not giving her a kiss and she got fed up waiting and she should slap me for making her do all the work. She introduced me to a couple friends and we all had a talk and a laugh and then they told her I had their seal of approval and they liked me and I seemed lovely. My head was getting bigger and bigger but I decided it was time for action.:cool:
I took her phone and put my number in and put hers in mine and then I gave her a kiss goodbye and before parting I asked her to give me a text when she was home so I could say goodnight to her - she did and I was delighted.
So I text her the next day asking did she have a good night and the usual, texted for a little bit then she went to work. After work she was going out with the girls to her local, I wished her a good night and said I'd speak to her tomorrow and she can drop me a text saying she got home ok and she said she would.
Now today we've been texting again and although she had made 1st moves in the club she's not giving me anything to go on. Is it my turn to start something up? Is she now playing hard to get with me so I work for her attention a bit more? She has told me she has a day off tomorrow and I've asked is she busy or has she plans made. Fingers crossed she isn't busy and we can go out somewhere. Only problem is I haven't a clue where to bring her. Cinema is a check off anyway because 1. We can't talk in the cinema and 2. She's already going to the cinema later with friends so don't want to bore her with cinema 2 days in a row.
Maybe ask her what's her favourite type of food and organise a restaurant? Or maybe that's too over the top and I should just suggest lunch or something? Any advice would be a help because I'm not sure what she wants now :rolleyes:0
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I'm being pretty laid back with it. Taking my time texting her back and not worrying when she hasn't text back for a bit and plagueing her with hundreds of obsessive messages wailing "I thought you loved me" :pac:ChocolateRamses wrote: »Sounds like every guys dream night out!
I don't really see what you're worrying about OP, you've been in touch, either she'll be available tomorrow or not, I'd suggest a quiet drink, coffee, something casual, ffs you only met the girl this weekend.
And if she doesn't respond at all, well then she's playing hard-to-get, up to you whether you want to waste your time playing that or not.
It's just I'm bit confused as to what she actually wants 0 -
I'm being pretty laid back with it. Taking my time texting her back and not worrying when she hasn't text back for a bit and plagueing her with hundreds of obsessive messages wailing "I thought you loved me" :pac:
It's just I'm bit confused as to what she actually wants
HaHa sounds like the perfect approach man
I wouldn't worry myself about what she wants, she'll either let you know, or stretch the finding out into some ridiculous melodrama, up to you whether you want to get into that or not.0 -
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Ok so I just have to try not make a balls of the little foundation that's been built up so far?Hey OP, I don't think shes going hot & cold or playing hard to get at all. Shes writing back to your messages and defo seems to like you. I'd say she does want you to take the lead now though. She seems to have done all the work til now so its defo your turn from here I'd say. I'd go for a quiet drink in a local, a drink or two will get rid of first date jitters!
Good luck!
I think I can do that, I hope. 0 -
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Ok so I just have to try not make a balls of the little foundation that's been built up so far?
I think I can do that, I hope.
Haha! Easier said than done eh?? Well shes obviously into your looks and shes still into you after your chats etc so your doing well so far! Just be genuine and respectful, thats all you can do really! Thats what I'd be looking for anyway 0 -
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Hey,
I don't think shes necessarily playing hot and cold but for my part I can say that sometimes girls obsess about things and if she seems cold it is possible that shes thinking, I made the first move, maybe hes not that bothered, just being nice by texting back and so is waiting for a signal that you are into her too. asking what her plans are def step in right direction. Good luck 0 -
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It's just I'm bit confused as to what she actually wants
She wants you for a start! She doesn't sound like someone who'd mess you around, seems fairly straight forward so far. See how Thursday goes, if it goes well and you like her company, ask her when she'd be free to meet up again.
The signs are definitely positive!! : )0 -
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I said cinema sounds good and I'll check times later and then afterwards we can dilly dally and have a chat
Sorry mate but going to the cinema for a date screams "I'm a loser who can't hold a conversation and can't come up with anything else but hopefully if i bring you to a dark room it might get you in the mood out of boredom"0 -
She suggested cinema. We wont be going straight to the cinema. I suggested I'd pick her up earlier so we can go for a coffee and a snack before hand so we can chat. Then we can chat on the way home aswel and we'll have the movie as a topic of conversation for part of it. I'm not trying to get her "in the mood"amazingemmet wrote: »Sorry mate but going to the cinema for a date screams "I'm a loser who can't hold a conversation and can't come up with anything else but hopefully if i bring you to a dark room it might get you in the mood out of boredom"
When I go to the cinema I actually watch the film. If you have any suggestions I'd appreciate them. Rather than just knocking plans she suggested :rolleyes:
+ I can hold a good conversation with her as I had done for over an hour when we met the 1st time. (We were both nearly sober at the time so it wasn't a drunken conversation full of nonsense, especially myself because it had been 2-3 hours since my last drink which wasn't many because we'd gone to the pub late)0 -
Nothing wrong with going to the cinema Especially considering she is the one who suggested it. Personally, I love going to the cinema. You guys can have a chat beforehand and afterwards and the movie will give you something to natter about if you sort of run outta conversation.
I hope you have a great time and it all goes well 0 -
She suggested cinema. We wont be going straight to the cinema. I suggested I'd pick her up earlier so we can go for a coffee and a snack before hand so we can chat. Then we can chat on the way home aswel and we'll have the movie as a topic of conversation for part of it. I'm not trying to get her "in the mood" When I go to the cinema I actually watch the film. If you have any suggestions I'd appreciate them. Rather than just knocking plans she suggested :rolleyes:
+ I can hold a good conversation with her as I had done for over an hour when we met the 1st time. (We were both nearly sober at the time so it wasn't a drunken conversation full of nonsense, especially myself because it had been 2-3 hours since my last drink which wasn't many because we'd gone to the pub late)
I know you didn't suggest the cinema I can read;) it was a warning.
Probably the best place you can bring someone for a first date if you've got no other amazing plans is the ghost bus tour if they still run it. Remember if your planning on going on a date and want things to progress the best bet is to be original, going to the cinema is what everyone thinks as of a date and its a terrible place to bring a date. Think how many guys she's probably gone on dates to the cinema with.0 -
Yeah they still run it my friend went with his family last year round halloween and said it was classamazingemmet wrote: »I know you didn't suggest the cinema I can read;) it was a warning.
Probably the best place you can bring someone for a first date if you've got no other amazing plans is the ghost bus tour if they still run it. Remember if your planning on going on a date and want things to progress the best bet is to be original, going to the cinema is what everyone thinks as of a date and its a terrible place to bring a date. Think how many guys she's probably gone on dates to the cinema with. I think that puts a big expectation on any possible future dates though so maybe look at doing that further in to the future if all goes well.
I don't want to be going too OTT with a 1st date.0 -
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Ok now my heads getting meltedhappydayz8 wrote: »Hi Bonito. From what I know, after you replied to my post, you understand women so well that by going to the cinema you are not showing off your best side. Bring her for a drink, even if she suggests the cinema - take the lead. Now, to me it sounds pretty promising. So, the second date is usually the more important one. But then I'm a bit old school. For the second date I'd recommend a restaurant -pre booking, so that she thinks you made an effort. My BF of two years did that and it really impressed me. (We still haven't been in the cinema). Best of Luck! I might have to take a lead on things because she's not giving me much on what she likes and dislikes and places she'd like to go or things she'd want to do etc.
Guessing the cinema option was her way of testing to see how much of an effort I'm willing to put in?
I don't mind going a bit up on the 2nd but don't want to give her the wrong idea by splashing on a restaurant on a 1st date
Just looking for advice TBH. Actually I don't think I've ever done a proper 1st date before so it's all a learning curve really.0 -
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Well so far our conversations haven't hit any snags like "soooooooooooo, you like, suff?" and is flowing pretty well so maybe if I take away focus from the cinema as the main attraction for the date and put more of a focus on the coffee and snack and having a chat and getting to know each other better? I'm not boring by any account and she might even get a laugh or 12 out of me, even if it means making a twit out of myselfhappydayz8 wrote: »well, if you are confused then take a step back and think what you might feel most comfortable with and do that. I wouldn't splash out on a restaurant on first date either. Keep in mind that it is probably not that much of a deal what you do on the first date, it is not going to be boring any way!:D I know I'm doing something right if I catch her smiling
I have always gone with be honest but anytime I have suggested that on here some of the female posters have been none too happy about it So honesty isn't always the best policy?
Surely there's no harm in letting her no I'm a tad nervous with some butterflies (No dutch courage this time matey) about seeing her again? Might even get a check in the "oh he's cute box"
I dunno I'm just waffling on now out of nerves, which I do in real life too, I never shut up :rolleyes: 0 -
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Well she hasn't and didn't tease me or play games. Her "come get me" couldn't have been anymore obvious - I just never acted on it and she ended up doing something along the lines of "tut fine I'll show you what you're missing" and planted one on mehappydayz8 wrote: »it sounds to me as if there is one lucky girl out there that is going to have a great date! Nothing better then a good couple of laughs.
Now about the honest thing, I agree with you but I know not every one would. Some people are firm believers of playing a game of tease and all, and I'm sure that can help sometimes. Honestly, I just could not be bothered.
We'll see Depending on how she comes across on meeting up again I'll either let her know/not let her know that I'm a bit nervous I would rather be honest but I think I'll wait 'til I know a little more about her 0 -
Well so far our conversations haven't hit any snags like "soooooooooooo, you like, suff?" and is flowing pretty well so maybe if I take away focus from the cinema as the main attraction for the date and put more of a focus on the coffee and snack and having a chat and getting to know each other better? I'm not boring by any account and she might even get a laugh or 12 out of me, even if it means making a twit out of myself I know I'm doing something right if I catch her smiling
I have always gone with be honest but anytime I have suggested that on here some of the female posters have been none too happy about it So honesty isn't always the best policy?
Surely there's no harm in letting her no I'm a tad nervous with some butterflies (No dutch courage this time matey) about seeing her again? Might even get a check in the "oh he's cute box"
I dunno I'm just waffling on now out of nerves, which I do in real life too, I never shut up :rolleyes:
Lol, deep breaths!! :P
I think you're doing a great job so far, she obviously really likes you and you're not being over-keen. Cinema is good for a first date, it give you a purpose, something to talk about and is less nerve wracking or potentially damaging than knocking back drinks for a few hours in the pub trying to make interesting and unending conversation. Have a great time! 0 -
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Hi Bonito, just been reading through your thread and was thinking this is a very lucky girl!
Was also thinking, there's nothing to stop you texting her and saying 'look I'd really like to be able to talk to you are you sure you wanna head to the cinema or would you rather do X*'
* being a coffee, wander round late night opening in the National Gallery or even starting with a coffee/drink/snack and only going to cinema if you both wanna head on. IMO though not dinner, lots of us get the fear eating with new men folk!
It shows that you really want to spend time with her and that you're putting thought into it. I know I'd be really impressed but then I'd be impressed just knowing how much thought you'd put into it here.
G'luck Let us know how ya fare! 0 -
I know an awful lot of girls like that. What is it that you wont eat in front of us
Baffles me TBH The 1st girl I came across I put it down to her having braces but then an awful lot of girls admitted they hate it, even my own sis
Oi don't go grassing me up and telling her this is here :pac: 0 -
Was looking up personal issues on web, came across boards.ie- erm hello where have i been. So Bonito i registered and all just to reply to your thread which has taken me ages to find, but i had to tell you she is doing THE RULES :eek: yup seriously. Not bad at all just based on the principles of good auld fashioned "courting" & being a bit hard to get to see if a fella is interested.
Good luck, your plans for sat sound great.:)0 -
Awww thanks for thatWas looking up personal issues on web, came across boards.ie- erm hello where have i been. So Bonito i registered and all just to reply to your thread which has taken me ages to find, but i had to tell you she is doing THE RULES :eek: yup seriously. Not bad at all just based on the principles of good auld fashioned "courting" & being a bit hard to get to see if a fella is interested.
Good luck, your plans for sat sound great.:) But I'm pretty sure you could have replied unregistered :pac:
That's fine I'm a bit old fashioned myself
I'll make sure to let everyone know how it all goes 0 -
I know an awful lot of girls like that. What is it that you wont eat in front of us
Baffles me TBH The 1st girl I came across I put it down to her having braces but then an awful lot of girls admitted they hate it, even my own sis
Lol it's the FEAR! You're chatting away to some lad you've met and possibly really like while simultaneously trying to get all the food in your mouth AND keep it out of your teeth.... Stress! :P Not to mention that for most people it's too early to go *point* 'You've half a chicken stuck in that snaggletooth'
It's fine from second/third date in but for a first date? *shudder* We don't want to the 'carcass face' to yer mates if it all goes awry!
Any more thoughts on the activity for Thursday?0 -
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Bit of an update for ye Think this a sign I made a good 1st impression. Fast forward a couple texts and we somehow ended back on the topic of the night we met. She said
to which I took a shot at and replied thatI wasnt bad at the aul dancin' myself
I then get awe both know my moves had her smitten the minute she got on the floor.
and she then asked did I head anywhere after the club. I repliedyeh yeh so what :P BTW thanks for helpin me get my heels back on I felt too short standin' with you in my flats
Her reply to this wasno I just went to my leaba, I like when the night ends on a good note
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I then said feck it I'm gonna take the plunge here and repliedoh, and how did yours end on a good note then?
I then crossed my fingers for her text back which saidDo I really have to spell it out for you? As if you haven't given me enough butterflies as it is :P
I wrote backDon't worry I'm only winding you up :P I had a great night with you too and I hope me and my friends weren't burning the ears off you
Then this was the last text before she went to bedNo I tend to talk a lot too, especially when nerves have the better of me, but that's not very often so I'm gonna blame you this time :PNo way you're not blamin me :P I think it's better to be chatty than stand there saying nothing at all im wrecked so it's night night from me
And that was that 0 -
Hey Bonito, I think you're overanalysing the date thing. Cinema is fine for a first date...as someone else said, you'll have a chance to talk beforehand, but the pressure's not there to keep conversation going for hours on end. You'll know from the time you spend together before and after the film if there's a spark there (there already seems to be) and whether a second date is on the cards.
Don't think about it too much, go to the cinema, enjoy your date, and plan something a bit different for the second date to impress her.
Good luck!0 -
Bit of an update for ye Think this a sign I made a good 1st impression. Fast forward a couple texts and we somehow ended back on the topic of the night we met. She said to which I took a shot at and replied that I then get a and she then asked did I head anywhere after the club. I replied Her reply to this was I then said feck it I'm gonna take the plunge here and replied I then crossed my fingers for her text back which said I wrote back Then this was the last text before she went to bed
And that was that
She sounds lovely! Fair play to you for telling her you'd butterflies, she seemed to appreciate your honesty. Wouldn't worry too much about where you bring her on a first date, it sounds like she doesn't care where she goes as long as you're there. Don't worry that she's playing games either, those texts you posted don't sound like they came from a person who plays games
Yay, nice to see people getting on : )0 -
Worst thing that could possibly happen has happened
I lost my voice It was gradually going through the day but then went to speak earlier in work and ..... nothing.
I'm not canceling the date anyway! Hopefully I'll be able to speak a bit tomorrow. Weird things is my throat doesn't feel hoarse or sore or dry. Just hot and I can't speak?
Before anyone says it's nerves or stage fright it's not :P0 -
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I shall indeedPlaying even harder to get or second thoughts. Hopefully some sort of good reason for cancelling and a replacement date. Either way plenty more out there. Just keep on dancing brother!
I have a feeling she's only out of a relationship. On tuesday she changed her facebook status to single - we met on sat - she only accepted me yesterday on it. I'm probably just being paranoid but if she did then in my books she's a dishonest cheat and she can jog on. If I manage to re-plan a date I'll have to ask her was she. I'm not gonna be a rebound :rolleyes:0 -
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Thanks peggy and staricco. It's just a slight little issue really. I can put 2 and 2 together. 2 and 2 being she met me on Sat and then the followng tue it says in her recent activity she changed her status to single. On this status one of her female friends commented saying well it's about time you're on the market for me again. So there's a chance she was with someone 'til tue which means she had bf sat when she met me.Hey Bonito,
I haven't read all the replies so forgive me if my post is out of sync or redundant. I have to say though it sounds like you've found a good girl there and what's more it sounds like you're a good guy too so I'd say you'll get on great. I love that she saw you and was like "oh yeah, I'll have some of that" and then snogged that head off you, my kinda woman, knows what she wants. Now while I think you'll do great, my advice is don't overthink it. She's obviously not overthinking it, she's strong and confident and from your posts I'd say you are too. Just enjoy her!!!! Hang out and have fun that's all she's looking for. You don't have to impress her but if you want to then I think a nice restaurant would do the trick, although let her know in advance if it's particularly fancy one because a girl likes to dress accordingly!!! Best of luck sweetie, I'd say you're in for loads of fun with her.
P.s I just read your suspician about cheating above, either give her the benefit of the doubt or just ask her, I doubt she was cheating though.
I've also considered maybe she could have broken up a while ago and only got over it now and is only announcing herself as back in the game.
I'll ask her later. I'll give her a quick ring to see if she's feeling any better and try organise a re-schedule for a date 0
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