Anyone else experienced therapy / counselling?

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I posted on here last May about my feelings/problems. I finally got the courage to go and speak to someone about my issues. I'm 4 sessions in. Going in there I knew there were some underlying problems, including low self-esteem, low confidence, no assertiveness, poor relationship exerience etc.
From the 4 sessions it has come to light that I was bullied at school (social exclusion type), off and on for a few years. I never knew that what happened to me was bullying. I thought I was shy, and it was my shortcomings that led to my miserable time at school. It was bullying. I am amazed at how emotional I become whenever the therapists talks about it to me and how i felt during my school years... I also have poor family relationships, and I think for years this has also had an big effect on me. Slowly I grinded to a halt a couple of years ago when I got depressed. Another sort of revelation from the therapy has been that she thinks I might have an attachment issue, something that probably happened when I was very young. I've always been a worrier, and from speaking to the therapist it appears that I have a fear of abandonment.

Anyhow, sorry to be blabbering on, I'm just wondering if:
a)I know everyone is different, but if there's anyone who was in any way similar to me (see above), how long did you spend in therapy, rough number of sessions?
b) anyone out there has any attachment issue (mild or severe), and if you have recovered from it, or not let it hinder you any further?

thanks a lot!

meteora

While I admire your ability to speak so openly about your therapy, I personally would not be comfortable divulging something so personal about myself to the internet at large. Internet bravado is one thing, but laying my problems out for public scrutiny would not be an attractive prospect. I hope you get your answers, but I would not be surprised if you didnt on an internet forum.

Overheal

meteora wrote: »

While I admire your ability to speak so openly about your therapy, I personally would not be comfortable divulging something so personal about myself to the internet at large. Internet bravado is one thing, but laying my problems out for public scrutiny would not be an attractive prospect. I hope you get your answers, but I would not be surprised if you didnt on an internet forum.

The OP has said nothing personally identifiable.

meteora

Overheal wrote: »

The OP has said nothing personally identifiable.

I never suggested they did I was merely introducing my opinion and congratulating them on their honesty.

LegacyUser

Meteora - it's anonymous, so I'm sure there'll be some people who are more than happy to share some info.

OP - I can't really say I've been exactly where you're at. I AM in counselling (4 sessions in too, as it happens) but for different reasons - low self esteem which has led to an eating disorder.

I too would love to know that there's an end in sight, that by appointment number x I'd be done. Or that I'll ever feel better. Unfortunately, there's no way of knowing - it's different for everyone.

Best of luck with your counselling, I know it's not easy. Stay strong and keep going.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I think counselling one of those things where the journey is more important than the goal. Take each session as it comes - reflect on it and think about what you got from each individual session that makes you feel a little stronger.

LegacyUser

I had counselling for a while and looking back now I can say it was the hardest, most difficult thing I ever had to do.
I had some issues going back to an experience of abuse as a child. What followed where years and years of low self confidence, self hate, I became an outsider and also became the favourite target for bullying in school, I started over eating and the list continues.
I didn't grow up in a bad family but there were some serious trust issues and I never told anyone what happend.
14 years later I went online into some random chatroom and told someone i only had a few chats with before about some of these things...to my surprise he listened didn't logg off..now 5 years later he is on of my best friends.
I didn't want to load all this onto him and I realized I need more help and got counselling.
Telling all these things to a complete stranger, knowing that your own family doesn't care, that was very hard. I went there every week for a few months and it usually took me 2-3 days to get "normal" again after a session, it was physical pain, telling my story loud my words stuck in my throat. It 's a feeling I cannot describe. I came close to quit a few times.
My counsellor then left the service and I couldn't bring myself to open up again to another stranger so we tried to find closure and I think somehow I did. It is not something I just tell my mates and only 2 very close friends know about this, but talking online is different tho.
I am fine i think, I found out a lot about myself, about my family and other issues and try to use what I learnt.
There is no right or wrong way about doing counselling, be good to yourself, it is about you.

feline_charm

I have been having counselling for most of the last decade, since losing my parents and then a sibling.

I was lucky - a good friend recommended someone to me, and when he retired I went to another person in the same practice. It took a little time to adjust to her, she was different in style, but I only wish I had started seeing someone lke this earlier. (I work in healthcare).

As someone else has said, it is hard - things long-buried because of the pain of the experience get dug up - but I am a better and wiser being for the experience - and happier too.

Good luck, it's hard, but worth it in the end. You need to find the right person, and that may not be the first one you see.

cafecolour

I've tried therapy about 3 times, 2 therapists were useless, one was good. The good one I left after 6 months. The useless ones I left after about 3 weeks. It sounds like you got a good therapist.

There's no set number of weeks. It's more about going until you feel comfortable that you have dealt with the issues you want to and having coping mechanisms.

Why are you looking for a schedule? Do you have specific budget limit or something like that? Or is it just more general curiosity?

LegacyUser

I just started, and already I feel better.

Its great to unburden, and its great to have someone serve your interests whose only relationship to you is professional. You can't get that with a friend.

I'm already feeling that bit lighter and stronger.

LegacyUser

I am a newbie to counselling as well.
I havent discussed with my counsellor how long i may be attending as we've only just begun to delve into whats been troubling me. I think i have many of the same issues as you OP- poor family relationships, low self esteem & self worth etc. Dont know if ive an attachment issue or dependency probs exactly cos my counsellor doesnt like to use labels.

I cant directly answer your specific questions but i can say that when i first started, i thought therapy could "fix" my problems but now realise i can only learn coping mechanisms and why i react to the problems i face. I also recognise that if i end counselling after how many sessions, I may need to go back in years to come if a problem arises that i need help with.

I first felt like i was at the bottom of an endless staircase with a huge climb looming ahead of me but I think therapy is about teaching you to deal with the steps at a time, making it all seem easier and less overwhelming to deal with.

After the initial sessions i felt uplifted and positive but as im becoming more comfortable with my counsellor, ive opened up more and more. I came out of my last session tearful and anxious, and still am kinda feeling that way, but at least I know i have the opportunity next wk to discuss it and i never feel hopeless or comepletely alone anymore.

Well done for plucking up the courage to go get help, you should feel proud for taking that hard first step