single

LegacyUser

Recently single, and just have no idea what to do with my time. Really feel quite lonely when I realise i've nothing to do. what do people do when they're single? I'm quite used to not being by myself, i've never really been bored, or got into doing things just for me, and as a result i don't think i have any interests. I have some small ish ones, but nothing that'll keep me busy.

Plus how are you meant to convince yourself it was right to break up? Seeing him around makes me realise i miss him, but i'm trying to fight the urges i have to talk to him, and ask for a hug. I don't want to give in, but I need to be ok with being by myself, and i dont know how.

mobilecore

hey op
recently single myself.
so in the same boat.

I am drinking more and more. unemployed which doesnt help too.
Im trying to fill up my time with things, havent got around to them so I have to. Stuff like ... i want to do drama and there is a drama group on here. you should do something similar. dont just spend too much time alone or doing nothing. dont be alone with your thoughts.

do you have a job?
do you have any things you always wanted to try?

jenga-jen

Hi OP

Ive been there a few times coming out of LTRs! It's a pain in the ass tbh!

My best advice is join a local gym and even if you don't know how to use any of the machines (cos I didn't) go to a few of the classes in the evenings to get started! It'll keep you busy for the few hours it takes to go, do it and get home as well as keeping your mind occupied!

Catch up with your friends as well. This can be hard because often they get sidelined for a new relationship (not saying rightly or wrongly) and you may have some ground to make up but really is worth it since it gives you more of an appreciation for how important it is not to lose them.

+1 to mobilecore as well, try to find other interests/courses even if it's one night a week. Anything that keeps you busy and stop you from over-thinking.

Keeping yourself busy and socialising with other people will give you a break from all the to-ing and fro-ing in your head about the ex and allow you to get a bit of perspective on how you're feeling without having to sit thinking about it all the time

santana75

I have to disagree with the keeping busy advice. No Im not saying dont do things, you have to live your life of course. But what I am saying is that its pointless to keep yourself constantly occupied and distracted because what youre doing is just avoiding feelings and running away. Thats why a lot of people bounce from one relationship to another, they cant handle the feelings that come with the end of one relationship and being by themselves all of a sudden. I know its difficult to be by yourself all of a sudden when youre used to having another person in you life who you are intimate with. Loss of intimacy is a bit tough to take at first. But this is life, you have and then you dont have. You've lost something and now you just gotta let it sink in and be with the feelings. Dont try to constantly keep yourself active, like I said, live your life, do things you want to do. But give yourself time each day to sit and do nothing. Just let yourself be with whatever feelings you have.

jdivision

OP get to know yourself, takes a lot of time, but it's the reason you're bored and lonely. People who've been in relationships find it hard afterwards because they don't know what to do with themselves, it's a matter of experimenting with different things and finding out what you like and don't like rather than what you as a couple liked or didn't like

Miss Fluff

jdivision wrote: »

OP get to know yourself, takes a lot of time, but it's the reason you're bored and lonely. People who've been in relationships find it hard afterwards because they don't know what to do with themselves, it's a matter of experimenting with different things and finding out what you like and don't like rather than what you as a couple liked or didn't like

+1. You are essentially bored and lonely with yourself as you have depended on other people/a relationship to make you feel fulfilled. Why don't you spend this time working on yourself rather than jumping to the next relationship because you don't like what you're faced with when spending time with yourself?