I Miss Sex So Much

LegacyUser

I was in a relationship which ended last summer and I was very in love with the guy and we had an incredible sex life. We made love 3 or more times a week and it was amazing and i loved it. As well as being such an enjoyable physical act, it gave me an incredible sense of well being and its such a loss to me now.

I'm kinda afraid that I'll never have great sex like that again. I'd never had a one night stand until recently and the guy couldn't get an erection. I was disgusted that I'd put myself out there like that after heartbreak and the guy was soft !!!! So I doubt I'll sleep with someone so quickly again and I certainly don't want to sleep with guys willy nilly.

I still have feelings for my ex and was nearly gonna sleep with him again just to satisfy my craving (he'd do it no probs) but then I'd be messing with my head and I'm trying to move on from him. It would be a bad idea wouldn't it?

unattendedbag

I still have feelings for my ex and was nearly gonna sleep with him again just to satisfy my craving (he'd do it no probs) but then I'd be messing with my head and I'm trying to move on from him. It would be a bad idea wouldn't it?

Yep you said it, so be glad you realised it. Many people would have slept with their ex before even realising that it can be emotionally messy.

Have you tried dating since the break-up? One night stands can be really hit-and-miss, so your best bet to finding another good partner is to have a few dates with a guy you like and see where it leads. If he's not up to your expectations in bed on the first time, then you have a chance of teaching him a few things if you's know each other better and get on well.

T "real deal" J

Maybe you should get a **** buddy. Just make it very clear from the offset that this is not a serious relationship. Honestys the best policy. You never know, it could develop further. You won't find it hard to find a guy that wants to have regular sex with you if you're hot and good in bed.

Don't have sex with your ex. It will make it harder for you to move on. Say if you're having sex with him and then he meets someone new. you'll be gutted at the thought that he's now ****ing someone else.

The_Kew_Tour

never go back to ex, ever

cafecolour

You don't just miss sex, you miss sex with him. A one-night stand can be fun, but it's never going compare. They're different animals.

So no, don't go back and sleep him. Focus on moving on, eventually finding someone new. Masturbate for the time being. I know it also doesn't compare, but it takes the edge off

LegacyUser

OP...you will find someone else, don't worry. And sex will be great again with another person. There is not only one person in the world you can have amazing sex with. I can tell you that from experience.

I love and need sex and I must say I have got a lot of bad advice from people over the years when I was in between relationships. Looking back now I can see a lot of these people giving the advice wouldn't really understand how important sex was. They maybe were the type of person who could take or leave sex and thought other things were more important than sex. I know everyone is different but back then I didn't know that and listened to these people.

People would be telling me to wait for Mr Perfect and all this Krap. That was some of the worst advice I ever got. On one occasion there was a few years in between relationships. So telling someone to wait and masturbate in circumstances like that is bad advice and not realistic.

I managed in all different ways. One night stands are grand for your ego, sex I would find good but would have no emotional interest in them so pick strangers who can't trace you and don't give them any personal information. Don't bring them back to your own place. Safety first.

Another time me and a friend of mine used to get together in sort of a fcuk buddy way if we were strung out. That was fine and we were able to revert right back to being pals when I met someone I was interested in as a boyfriend.

I've never had any trouble separating sex from love but I know some people do. You used the phrase 'make love' which is not the same as having sex just to scratch an itch.

Hope that was helpful, looking back I would never have wasted as much time without sex on the bad advice of people. If you need sex you need it so just get it and dont listen to people saying wait for Mr Right. You only get one life.

As for going back to your ex, I wouldn't go there. There are thousands of available men to pick from so enjoy them. You can look for Mr Right later or you might find him along the way, but dont bother enforcing celibacy on yourself for no good reason.

LegacyUser

Cafecolour you're right, I miss sex with him. I hadn't realised that would you believe!

REAL advice, what you said has made me realise something. I don't just want sex, I want to make love. Actually I really want to be fcuked and then hear 'I love you'. I like sex a bit dirty but can only do that with someone I'm mad about so one nights stands are no good to me. I need to have real feelings to be good in bed and then I'm great. On my one and only one night stand I just lay there and I've always been really into it when I'm in bed with my ex's.

But at the same time I'm not sure I'm ready to start going out with someone yet, eventhough I keep thinking about the one night stand guy. It would be great to have a mate that I could sleep with and then go back to being mates.

LegacyUser

Why eat a hamburger if you can get steak, as the saying goes.... but your steak is gone... its a tough situation.

I suspect you don't just want sex; you want sex with someone you love - or with your ex. In a case like that, one nighters can be horrible. It sounds like your not really over your last relationship yet, and you are not ready to separate sex and love. Maybe you never will.

So it might just be a case of time heals...

In my experience, F buddys are a waste of time as its too easy to go running back to them instead of chasing fresh tail, and being F buddys with your ex is a real downgrade.

There are always up times in life and lulls in between and this is one of your lulls. Ask yourself this: are you really able to fancy men other than your ex at the moment? If no. then you need more time to heal. If yes, then pursue the ones you fancy (or better still, let them pursue you), or internet date and have a bit of patience. You will have fantastic sex with someone you're mad about eventually. Forget looking for one night stands, they're demoralising. I've had about 30 of them (over a dating career of 20 years) and only one or two have been memorable.

Anti

adrian280582 wrote: »

never go back to ex, ever

Your ex, is your ex for a reason. Leave it in the past and try to move on. It's hard and it takes time, but worth it in the end.

Miss Fluff

getsome wrote: »

I still have feelings for my ex and was nearly gonna sleep with him again just to satisfy my craving (he'd do it no probs) but then I'd be messing with my head and I'm trying to move on from him. It would be a bad idea wouldn't it?

It would be a terrible idea. It's a shame that you had a less than hot experience recently on your one-night-stand but that's not to say that only your ex is good in bed. You will have lots more great sex. Masturbate lots to scratch the itch as it were, try to find a f8ck buddy to tide you over, and get yourself out there again and meet someone new. You know that your inner voice wants more than just sex with your ex, and that will only cause you pain and upset so walk away and focus on finding your fun elsewhere.

Real Clare Man

unregistered wrote: »

Why eat a hamburger if you can get steak, as the saying goes....

I know steak is great but did you ever have a large amount to drink and just get a craving for a nice juicy burger as you walked past the chipper...even though you know there is steak at home......doesn't mean you like steak any less.

Slutmonkey57b

getsome wrote: »

On my one and only one night stand I just lay there and I've always been really into it when I'm in bed with my ex's.

Then why are you angry at the guy because he couldn't get it up? It sucks that you had a bad experience on your one nighter, but that's what it is - a one nighter. Sometimes it either has to be very easy, or a bit more work than sex in a regular relationship. Either way, both parties have to put something into it. You can't just go into it and think "Well ok I hope this guy does me just like my ex did." How will he know? As a matter of interest, was your ex your first?

LegacyUser

Slutmonkey57b wrote: »

As a matter of interest, was your ex your first?

No he wasn't my first but there has been very few tbh. I think I was very very in love with him and into him so we were great in bed together. And also i think I'm older too so more relaxed in my own skin. But theres no way I'm going near him. It would be so foolish. I miss sex so much but not that bloody much to go back down that road!!

its just a slow time in my life and hopefully i've good stuff to look forward to.
I just pity the next guy I'm really into. he won't stand a chance!!!

Anti

getsome wrote: »

No he wasn't my first but there has been very few tbh. I think I was very very in love with him and into him so we were great in bed together. And also i think I'm older too so more relaxed in my own skin. But theres no way I'm going near him. It would be so foolish. I miss sex so much but not that bloody much to go back down that road!!

its just a slow time in my life and hopefully i've good stuff to look forward to.
I just pity the next guy I'm really into. he won't stand a chance!!!

They never do stand a chance

But don't worry, good things come to those who are patient. Just kick back and enjoy some "Me time" The rest will come naturally.