normal behaviour??

cowhands

Morning All,

My 13 month old daughter is starting to walk - still needs to hold onto someones hand or something and is constantly wanting to be on the go which is great.

But she screams and cries, and gets very angry and fustrated if she doesnt get her own way. For example - we walk her around for half an hour and want to stop she will cry and scream until she is back walking again. She also throws things like her sippy cup or spoons and toys away just out of fustration more than anything else. She whinges alot also when there seems to be nothing the matter (not hungry, thirsty, tired, wet/dirty nappy etc) She also smacks me and others in the face for no appartent reason.
This is our only child so we dont know if this is normal behaviour or is she being too spoilt? Any advice or help would be really appreciated. Its extermely fustrating to deal with her at times.

JoeyJJ

I have a 13 month old too. She is a little like that at the moment frustrated she is taking steps on her own but not that many. She gets frustrated and has little tandrums the odd time. She also tries to pull my wifes glasses off and knows its naughty but sometimes laughs when I tell her off. I think its a stage she is going through, for us it doesn't happen for too long maybe more before bedtime routine starts.

Grawns

I have a nearly 12 month old and I she's pretty good at the moment but I am expecting her behaviour to take a turn for the worse as toddlerhood sets in. She's been walking for 6 weeks now but was happy cruising the furniture before that. Never held her hand to help her walk really so maybe you could just lead her to furniture and let her off. Everything you've described is perfectly normal behaviour according to what I've read. I recommend you buy a book like "what to expect the toddler years". Helps with parenting advice such as how to respond to challenging behaviour and gives you an idea of what is going on in their heads. All fascinating to me.

CrazyRabbit

Perhaps your daughter has become conscious of the fact that whenever she throws a little tantrum or gets upset, that she gets your full attention.

I'm guessing that once you start holding her as she walks around, she's happy with the attention and distracted by the actually walking.

Gurgle

cowhands wrote: »

But she screams and cries, and gets very angry and fustrated if she doesnt get her own way. For example - we walk her around for half an hour and want to stop she will cry and scream until she is back walking again. She also throws things like her sippy cup or spoons and toys away just out of fustration more than anything else.

Leave room, close door.

(Then listen carefully in case the "I'm pissed off" scream turns into the "I've hurt myself" scream)

And yes, its absolutely normal.
If you manage to teach her now that screaming is the best way to get what you want, you'll be regretting it until she turns 21.

hallelujajordan

cowhands wrote: »

Morning All,

My 13 month old daughter is starting to walk - still needs to hold onto someones hand or something and is constantly wanting to be on the go which is great.

But she screams and cries, and gets very angry and fustrated if she doesnt get her own way. For example - we walk her around for half an hour and want to stop she will cry and scream until she is back walking again. She also throws things like her sippy cup or spoons and toys away just out of fustration more than anything else. She whinges alot also when there seems to be nothing the matter (not hungry, thirsty, tired, wet/dirty nappy etc) She also smacks me and others in the face for no appartent reason.
This is our only child so we dont know if this is normal behaviour or is she being too spoilt? Any advice or help would be really appreciated. Its extermely fustrating to deal with her at times.

They don't call it the terrible-twos for nothing. . Best, as others have said to ignore it and make sure the screams are never rewarded. . .

lynski

sounds pretty normal to me. my 3 tr old did that at that time and my 14mth old tries it too. they get very frustrated that they can't do what they want and they can't communicate as well.
say no and distract - harder to do with girls then boys - but don't give in or as the earlier poster said you will still be regretting it in 20 yrs time.
as she gets older she will accept the no more and you will not need to distract.

metrovelvet

Distraction.distraction.distraction. Dont tolerate the smacking in the face.

deisemum

Completely normal behaviour but it's usually out of frustration. She's also learnt that if she screams that she'll get your full attention so she's only doing what she knows will work. I'd recommend ignoring such behaviour or else you'll end up making a rod for your own back.

Every single time she smacks you she needs to be shown that smacking is not acceptable because if you don't then she'll end up doing it to other people including other children if she doesn't get her own way.

I recommend Toddler Taming by Dr. Christopher Green.

Billiejo

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

Perhaps your daughter has become conscious of the fact that whenever she throws a little tantrum or gets upset, that she gets your full attention.

I'm guessing that once you start holding her as she walks around, she's happy with the attention and distracted by the actually walking.

Exactly!!!
Clever wee child..Already

themysteriouson

They all do it at that age my little once threw her soother at someone in the Queue of a shop because I wouldnt let her down to run off. Very embarrissing but they grow out of it eventually so I've heard. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

deisemum

One of my mindees who'll be 2 next month threw his shoe at me this week. I think he must have thought I was George Bush

eimsRV

Deisemum picked up toddler taming today in Blanch, looking forward to reading it and hopefully putting some of it in to practice!

themysteriouson

deisemum wrote: »

One of my mindees who'll be 2 next month threw his shoe at me this week. I think he must have thought I was George Bush

I know how you feel I have had soothers, toys, shoes watever is near basically launched across the room when she has a tantrum.

Let me know if that toddler taming book is any good eimsRV I think I may need it!!

deisemum

I found Toddler Taming the best out of all the baby books I read plus the doctor has a sense of humour.

Hotblack Desiato

They get frustrated at that sort of age when they know what they want (and can understand what you are saying) but can't express themselves. It gets a little easier when they're able to talk, but you can still try to get them to point at what they want, or nod yes/no while you point at every single toy in the house until you figure out the one they want :rolleyes: but you need to be very clear with them also regarding hitting, throwing, grabbing glasses etc. as not acceptable.

themysteriouson

deisemum wrote: »

I found Toddler Taming the best out of all the baby books I read plus the doctor has a sense of humour.

I'll definitely be picking up that book during the week and having a good read of it hopefully it works as I want to nip this behavouir in the bum before it gets out of hand and I need to give Supernanny a call.:D

deisemum

bumped for cowhands

Nevyn

Time for you to learn how to use the stern parental voice and saying NO! very firmly and clearly and time for your daughter to start learning what that means.
And when you say No! like that no backing down and always follow through.

Yes it's hard and heartbreaking at times but we have to teach our kids how to behave,
and they have to learn to see us as an authority and the final word.
The ground work starts now and if we get it right we end up with kids who respect us.

deisemum

Thaedydal wrote: »

Time for you to learn how to use the stern parental voice and saying NO! very firmly and clearly and time for your daughter to start learning what that means.
And when you say No! like that no backing down and always follow through.

Yes it's hard and heartbreaking at times but we have to teach our kids how to behave,
and they have to learn to see us as an authority and the final word.
The ground work starts now and if we get it right we end up with kids who respect us.

Agree 100% with this.

Children need their parents to be parents not just as friends. You're wasting your time if you say no and don't follow through. Children need boundries for them to feel secure.

If a child is not taught how to behave and just let off and used to getting their own way it's a lot harder and more upsetting when a couple of years down the line and the child is in school, sports group or with other children and parents are then called into the school about the child's behaviour (child will soon get the reputation of being a handful - polite word for it) or get asked to leave the sports group or other parents not wanting their children playing with your child.

mags cherrywood

My Bf's child is the exact same with stay up all nite roaring for atttention. i tried to explain it cant continue as he keeps doing it when he knows someone will go into him every time he does it. the weird thing is he doesnt sleep half the time he will stay up all the nite. is this normal??

wolfpawnat

my son is 1 in 10 days and he is the very same, he gets sat down on his bum (not harshly) and I kneel down to him and with my index finger pointing I sternly say no, he 95% of the time reacts to that, other than that I just ignore him and if he tries to climb up to my arms I don't let him.

The situation I have at the moment is the severe pulling of my hair!!!!! Little buggar:)

Keith in cork

mags cherrywood wrote: »

My Bf's child is the exact same with stay up all nite roaring for atttention. i tried to explain it cant continue as he keeps doing it when he knows someone will go into him every time he does it. the weird thing is he doesnt sleep half the time he will stay up all the nite. is this normal??

He will grow out of it.

Orion

I'm sure he probably has already - 19 months later!

Is there something in the water these days? Thread closed.