Asked to be childs godfather, but....

LegacyUser

Hi guys, not sure if this is the right place really, but, I'll throw it out there anyway.

I'm particularly close to my brother/sister in law, their second child was born in October and they are looking to get it christened in April perhaps. Anyway, my sis in law has just asked me to be the childs godfather, the problem is, I have absolutely NO interest, faith, or belief in religion, any religion, and she, being Polish would have considerable faith.

I'm just wondering if during the christening you have to like make pledges or promises to "God" or something. I've been a somewhat closest atheist, well, I think my family knows I havent all that much interest in religion. However, I'm not going to make pledges or promises or take blessings from a priest from an orgnisation or religion that I do not believe in!! Not that I want to be pig headed or anything, but, I dont want to be making empty promises to my sis in law whom has a good faith in the church. (besides I'm not too keen on that whole 'original sin' thing!!!!)

Am I being stupid here, can an atheist be a god father without the religious implications?!

Thanks!

Nevyn

Given that it is a catholic christening you will need to make several declarations,
if you can't then I do think you shouldn't, I suggest you talk to your brother and get him to talk to the parish priest.

Little Acorn

NoFaith wrote: »

Hi guys, not sure if this is the right place really, but, I'll throw it out there anyway.

I'm particularly close to my brother/sister in law, their second child was born in October and they are looking to get it christened in April perhaps. Anyway, my sis in law has just asked me to be the childs godfather, the problem is, I have absolutely NO interest, faith, or belief in religion, any religion, and she, being Polish would have considerable faith.

I'm just wondering if during the christening you have to like make pledges or promises to "God" or something. I've been a somewhat closest atheist, well, I think my family knows I havent all that much interest in religion. However, I'm not going to make pledges or promises or take blessings from a priest from an orgnisation or religion that I do not believe in!! Not that I want to be pig headed or anything, but, I dont want to be making empty promises to my sis in law whom has a good faith in the church. (besides I'm not too keen on that whole 'original sin' thing!!!!)

Am I being stupid here, can an atheist be a god father without the religious implications?!

Thanks!

You definitely should not be a godparent if you are an atheist.
The whole purpose of godparents is to ensure that the child is encouraged to maintain their christian faith if something should happen to the parents.
They are responsible for the spiritual upbringing of the child,and I'm pretty sure they have to be christian themselves.
Now some people these days just have christenings out of tradition,and aren't too bothered by how religious the god parents are,
but as you mention that your sister in law has strong faith etc., I really think that you should politely refuse this offer to be godparent.
As you are close to your brother,tell him how you feel and maybe he or both of you could explain your reasons to his wife.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the help guys! You wouldnt believe the job this is doing on my head right now!!

Its not that I dont want to do it, it was a great honour being asked, but its just that I 'couldnt' do it, for myself, my brother and sis in law and especially the little guy himself, wouldnt be fair if I just played along.

Thanks again!

Little Acorn

Glad you've come to a decision. No point in doing something you've no belief in just to keep other people happy. I'm sure they will appreciate your honesty,and you can assure them that you will still be an excellent uncle without following a religion. Have nephews of my own,so expect lots of future babysitting!:D

OS119

NoFaith wrote: »

Thanks for the help guys! You wouldnt believe the job this is doing on my head right now!!

Its not that I dont want to do it, it was a great honour being asked, but its just that I 'couldnt' do it, for myself, my brother and sis in law and especially the little guy himself, wouldnt be fair if I just played along.

Thanks again!

OP, you need to have a chat with your brother and his mrs to find out what they want from Godparents - you'll almost certainly find that they do not want a 'civilian priest' who will chivvy the child to church should the parents fall under a bus...

if they do - unlikely in my experience - then fine, that's not something you could do in good concience, however if they - like most parents - ask people to be godparents its because not only do they have a close relationship with you, but they see you as a 'good bloke' who they want the child to have a close relationship with, and they want to 'formally' identify you both as someone the kid can come to if they wish, but also as someone who's opinions the parents take seriously.

often it corresponds with the people the parents trust most to take decisions about, and care for, their children should the mythical no11 bus come hurtling around the corner. rarely is the 'God' part of 'Godparent' anything more than a nice ceremony in an attractive building with lots of flowers and nice music... ask the parents what they want from godpents before deciding that you can't do it.

krudler

The majority of people want their kids christened as its the traditional thing to do, the whole teaching them to be a good christian if anything happens to the parents bit has sort of fallen by the wayside, Im godparent to my nephew and i dont believe in god, i did it because my sister asked, she has little faith as well but if she didnt have the child christened it'd be more hassle than its worth from the older people in our family, which is probably the main reason most people do it, I actually find it ridiculous that in the eyes of the church a child is born into sin, a child is a blank slate is far as I'm concerned

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

Hi again guys and thanks for the help again!

Well, I broke the news to my sis in law, she seemed fine with it, so that is an absolute load off my mind, believe me!! I have two other brothers, so, she will ask one of them. I was a little dissapointed, having been asked to take on the role, to have to turn it down. I know she has good faith in the church but isnt exactly a regular church goer and ok, maybe the christening is happening because its 'the thing' to do, keep everyone happy etc. Maybe I'm being a little selfish myself, but, I just couldnt stand there in from of a priest and say I believe in god, denounce the devil etc etc and make promises on a child that knows no better, they'd just be empty words, a bravado. Of course I'd be there for my nephew should anything happen, that goes without saying godfather title or not!! But I wont do something that I'm just not comfortable with.

Cheers!

Mink

I've alwasy understood Godparents to be the ones that will take care of the child if something happens to the parents. That's also why you choose them from different sides of the family - ie; not a couple so that all sides covered.

I know many Christians & non-Christians who elected Godparents (not necessarily via a Christening) of same & different faiths.

I agree with the other poster - it's about someone who actually cares about the child, will be around & be there for birthdays etc.

My other 1/2 & I are non-Christian but we are God parents to Christian kids & we take the role pretty seriously but not in a religious sense.

Gone Drinking

Did anyone watch shameless last night? its funny, because the godmother of the child, during the christening stops the priest to tell him she doesn't believe in god, and really can't offer any sort of god help for the child and that infact she's a prostitute by trade..

But goes on to say that she'll always be there, to help and offer advice, and to look after the child etc (or something alone those lines), which is what is really important of a god person.

Sums it up really (granted, it'd be better if you're not a prostitute)

Tar.Aldarion

I've never even met somebody I knew to be a godparent and religious..in fact the parents aren't usually religious. But in this case tehy are, so maybe you did what is best. I would have just asked them does it matter to them if you are not religious and say you would be there for child blah blah