Respite Care

Joey the lips

Hi Folks.

We have a disabled child. We were recently asked by social workers to consider respite care. At times like family weddings etc.

This prospect kinda seems alien to us but having seen the trouble our family has looking after our child when we go anywhere we are considering it.

What i would like to know(From those with a family member pref a child in respite) is how did it go for you or how is it going. I dont expect to much information on a public forum just pointers on possible emotions to look out for.

You feedback is very much appreciated.

BrigR

Hi! I'm not a parent of a child with a disability but as nobody else has replied so far I'd like to give you at least some information.
I work with a group of young adults with an intellectual disability who attend Day Services. Part of the services is Respite for families that want it.
I haven't come across anyone yet who doesn't love going to Respite, they see it as an exciting sleepover where you catch up with friends, meet new people, visit interesting places and so on. The integration period is very gradual, a visit with the parents, a visit alone for a few hours, a visit for tea and eventually a sleepover.
What I heard from the parents is positive too. A break, an opportunity to do a few things on your own without having to worry about finding a minder.
Also, think of a crisis situation, illness, hospital visits. Once your child is used going to Respite and sees it as part of the routine you can avail of the service in a crisis without adding further trauma.
I hope this helped a bit, best wishes to you and all the family!

Joey the lips

Thank you. This is what the carers have told us. I hope this makes sense. It has been explained in detail about what the child feels but I have always found that even with all the intervention no one knows children more than the parents.

What i am really worried about is the family adjustment. How does the house feel with the child gone. How does the house feel when the child comes back. Selfish as this might sound I am worried about many emotions. I am worried that i cannot go through with it. I am worried that i will enjoy it to much. I am worried as his brother gets older he will see this as a way of getting rid of his disabled brother.

In otherwords despite not haveing much of a choice in time i am considering just going with my instinct and not takeing respite. But then how does this work out for all around him.

It was really just experiences and felt emotions i wanted. I do not expect much else.

Thanks

Dizzyblonde

Hi Joey
I have a younger sister with intellectual disabilities who, when she was young, stayed in school from Monday to Friday. This was partly because the school was too far for her to commute to daily, and also because it was good for her to be among her peers.
I know it's not the same as respite, but I just wanted to give you my view on a disabled child being away from the family. In my opinion it gives the child in question another dimension to their life and a level of independence. It also gives the rest of the family a chance to be 'normal' and do things they otherwise couldn't - this is vital for the siblings of the disabled child.
Also, as BrigR said, once your child is used to being in respite it wouldn't be as hard if he had to go in at short notice if there was an emergency.
My parents went through the usual feelings of guilt when my sister went off to school first but she settled very quickly and loved it.
I'm a parent of 2 adult children, and I know how hard it can be to admit that someone else knows what's good for our children, but it happens sometimes.