need some serious help

antz182

ok so me and my ex have been broken up bout 10/11 months now, we havent spoken in 8 and i cannot for the life of me forget about her/get over her. to make matters worse i've seen her pic on bebo and on her bed is the first teddy bear i gave her when we were dating, i miss her so much but i need/want closure i cant contact her to talk things through as she changed her no and her bebo is private any thoughts/ help?

mobilecore

hello mate,
can i ask a question?
was this your first serious relationship?

antz182

eh yea it was, lasted 3 years

mobilecore

Thats the thing
its your first serious relationship.


I am probably the best person to ask in this situation. Im 24 now.
When i was 21 (few weeks off 22) i dated a girl who was 18 and we lasted for a year and a half. I loved her. We broke up in march 2008.
It took me until Jan 2009 to get over her. Upon hearing she slept with someone else. See, i was dating her and she was a virgin. Some may call that stupid but i stayed with a girl i loved for a year and a half and never had sex with her once.

I was always looking at her bebo. ALWAYS! what you are feeling is what i was feeling.

Remember why you broke up.
In fact, why not share why you broke up.

unattendedbag

changing her number and cutting you off pretty much means she doesnt want any contact from you so dont make things worse by trying to give her unwanted attention.

What exactly do you want from her? Do you need a reason for the breakup? Do you want just want to talk to her one last time? If you were put into a room with her for the next 5 minutes, what exactly what you say to her?

It must be so hard that she's not speaking to you and i can't even begin to imagine the pain or hurt it is causing. But your goal is to get her out of your head so that she is not holding you back. Stop idolising her by thinking that she is an important part of your life. instead try thinking she WAS (past) an important part of your life.

Dont try to look her up on bebo or facebook as this only makes things worse by digging up the past.

antz182

dude i know how u feel bout the whole virgin thing, we didnt do it in 3 years cause she was waiting - the whole marraige thing, but u see, she never gave me a reason for breaking up, she walked away, txt me 3 days later saying "its over" and then just said she needed to try new things, then changed her phone no. to make matters worse i dunno how to get back into the whole dating scene so im stuck

antz182

i know its a double post but all i want is to either get her out of my head or else have her tell me why we broke up i cant do either

mobilecore

Its funny how we were in the same situation.
My friend, that ex didnt care for me. It took me a while to realise.
She cheated on me and didnt care. I was used.

I am sorry to hear upon hearing the same that you were being used.
Its hard... I know. I was there. Same as you.
My friend she didnt care.


ever since i have developed how to read people. this whole "3 days later she broke up with you" - because she found someone else. Most probably behind your back.

Forget her.

This thread to take the direction of how to get you back on your feet dating again


are you shy by any chance?

antz182

haha yep u got it in one, im very shy and when i do go out and approach a girl i dont have a clue what to do i feel completly useless. any girls i do like i dont know how to approach them all my previous girlfriends have been set up by a friend who's not around so much anymore

mobilecore

Sadly chatting up girls is something that has to be learned, through trial and error.

Im not going to have an ego and say i am good at it. because i am not. however i know i aint bad. i am hit or miss at it. BUT!!! When i was with that girl i was TERRIBLE at it. I felt i couldnt do any better than her. felt that no other girl would ever want me. Does that sound familar by any chance? Is that what you may be feeling?

antz182

kinda, but no, i can see myself loving another again, but im not ready to give away my heart that easily, once bitten, twice shy and all that, tbh all i want for a while is to go out and kiss random girls, but for whatever reason i dunno how to seal the deal, even with a randomer i dont know

mobilecore

Sadly,
thats something we all have to learn.

I can suggest certain things to you. If you want read up upon a certain book, or go on youtube and seach "the pickup artist" or "mystery method"
- to give a little back story "mystery" is a "student" who learned from a guy named neil strauss. a so called "pick up artist" - warning tho. nearly everything "mystery" says is obvious facts just blown up BS. His way of explaining things is over the top ... think of it as someone saying going over to a girl and saying "do you have a light? (if you want to light up a smoke) - and him going on for about 5 mins about how/why he did it - rather than just saying "going over to the girl, coming off as just a non-imposing guy just wanting a light, then striking a conversation" - but within saying that he will make you think more. Give you something to work with. Its like being told the obvious facts. But facts you should know. Cause then you got game. aka, have a plan on what you are going to do.

antz182

hey suggestions are what i need right now, im completly inexperienced lol, i had a gf from the ages of 16-17 and then again 18-21 so i dont have an f'in clue what to do

mobilecore

Read or watch mystery.
im watching it now on youtub.
man, he actually says interesting things. makes me wanna go out and try them

pm me if you ever want to chat dude. we were in the same boat

antz182

link me.... i might be goin to bed soon tho, if ur on ill defo pm u, people need people from time to time and stuff, thanks bro