need help

wallabear

hey all, need some light on this.

with my boyfriend now nearly 9 years since we were 15 now im really not sure if i want to stay with him, he has become more of a friend to me and the sexlife is gone, i know he loves me and i love him but i want to go out and enjoy my life for a while while im still young enough to do it, but im afraid ill miss him if i do and regret what i threw away!
any light on this would be a great help.

Thanks

Silverfish

Hi wallabear, I've moved this to the relationship issues forum, hopefully you'll get more advice here.

wallabear

thanks;)

anucksunamun

Is the sex life the only thing thats 'gone'? and also by 'gone' what do you mean? do you mean nothing whatsoever? or that you dont still feel the same way towards him? is this a recent thing or has it been waning for a while? Have you met someone else who has piqued your interest perhaps?

And let me just say I kinda know how you feel was with a boyfriend for 5 yrs who ended being more or a room mate than anything else... And in its own way that can be heartbreaking..

unattendedbag

Why is the sex life and the love gone out of the relationship? Have you's tried anything to re-kindle it or spice it up? At 23/24 you's should be in your element although i can understand how things can fizzle out after 8 years together. The important thing is that you both realise the current state of the relationship at the moment. You both need to realise that the sex life has gone and both need to reaslise that you have to do something to 'get it going' again and re-kindle the love and romance.

You can still get out and enjoy life even if you have a long term boyfriend. You can still go travellng, go backpacking, go out and get plastered every weekend or whatever makes you feel wild. A boyfriend should not be a reason to be tied down, especially in your early 20's. However if what you mean is that you want to go out and sleep with other people and try other boyfriends then thats a totally different situation.

wallabear

we dont live with each other but we see each other every day. i just feel i need more from life and he is not giving it to me, my eyes were opened when my younger sister got with her boyfriend and i see how much fun they have together, just simple things like going out for dinner and weekends away, then there is the whole hugging and kissing thing and i see that he is just crazy about her and i never had that with my boyfriend.
Then there is the sex or lack of it. We are going through a slump, and ive even been rejected a few times, his reason was he wasnt in the humour?
Come on, a 25 year old who doesnt want sex when it is handed to him on a plate, im not a bad looking girl and i feel there could be a lot more out there for me.
im just really confused.
Then there is one guy who has expressed his interest in me, ive known him for years, he was away for a while and got chatting to him on a night out and he told me he always liked me, which he made known to me when we were in school, but i was into the bad boy type which is what my boyfriend was but now is just boring and i know how much of a nice guy this other fella is and that he would treat me well, but am i only thinking like this because im going through this slump with my boyfriend and that someone new is showing interest!