I've made such a mess of things

LegacyUser

I met a really nice guy on a night out shortly before Christmas, got on really well that night so exchanged numbers and have been in regular contact since then. However I've only meet up with him twice since this because with different things on at weekends coming up and after Christmas it wasn't really suitable for us to meet up and also we live almost three hours away from each other.

A few weeks ago he asked me midweek if I would be interested in going to his home county for a night out that weekend. So at the time I said yes but also said that I’d need to confirm closer to the time. When the weekend came around I couldn’t go out with him as I had something on that night at home and so I turned down his offer apologetically and explained why I couldn’t meet up but he was p*d off that I didn’t go and understandably so. The following day after this night out, he text saying that I had missed a great night out etc. Between one thing and the next I didn't reply to him until about a week later and its almost another week later since that and I haven’t heard anything from him either.

I'm just kicking myself now that I let those few days pass with renewing contact with him. He’s such a nice guy that I’ve probably let slip through my fingers I know I let him down that night and he probably thinks now between that and not contacting him for over a week I'm no longer interested but thats not the case.

What should I do? Thanks

Kiera

You told him you'd go to his hometown and cancelled. Then didnt contact him for a week. Do you think this gives the impression you like him?

I dont see how you couldnt have dropped him a quick text/call during that week. No matter how busy you were a simple 30seconds out of your day to send a text to him wouldnt have killed you. If i was him i'd have forgotten about you by now.

Sanjuro

Well, to be honest, you shot yourself in the foot there. But if you really do like him, make contact. But I do think you'll have to make a special effort if you want this thing to go somewhere. If I were in the guy's shoes, I'd take your actions as a big fat 'not interested' from you. You cant have your cake, not eat it, put it in the press and expect it not to go off!

aidan24326

Make contact with him, you've nothing to lose. Your actions and attitude towards him so far have not exactly conveyed much interest, so let him know you ARE interested and it might not be too late at all. But a wee bit more effort on your part will be required. Right now he thinks you're not really interested which is fairly understandable. Whether you've blown it or not? Well there's only one way to find out!

gavney1

I have to agree with ppl above, esp as a someone in the same position as the guy ur not texting (see my recent thread)!

I really really can't understand how ". Between one thing and the next I didn't reply to him until about a week later"

A text takes about 1 minute to write - were you really that busy?

gavney1

whatshouldido wrote: »

What should I do? Thanks

I should probably try to be constructive here!

I say text him to meet up. Don't expect him to ask you out though - I think the ball is in your court in that regard - he'll probably be too wary of getting stood up again if he asks you out. If I was in his situation (and I kind of am!) then I'd be delighted with a text from you. I'd still be annoyed with you, but you barely know each other, so he'll probably be willing to put that to one side and meet up with you.

And when you meet up with him, let him know how sorry you are about not texting him back that time, that you know it was thoughtless, but that you hope he doesn't take it the wrong way

Gyalist

A few weeks ago he asked me midweek if I would be interested in going to his home county for a night out that weekend. So at the time I said yes but also said that I’d need to confirm closer to the time. When the weekend came around I couldn’t go out with him as I had something on that night at home and so I turned down his offer apologetically and explained why I couldn’t meet up but he was p*d off that I didn’t go and understandably so. The following day after this night out, he text saying that I had missed a great night out etc.

Notwithstanding what the others have posted, the part that I've quoted above would give me some reason for concern.

Why should he be pissed off that you didn't go with him when you had a valid reason not to? Why do you say that it was understandable?

kittenkiller

Call him and ask him out!

Think of something you think he'd enjoy and arrange it.
Explain that you were mad busy and that you should have made more of an effort.
We're all just people, I'm sure he'll understand.

LegacyUser

Yup, be brave and CALL. After the tiny amount of contact you've had with him, calling and not texting is the decent thing to do. Good luck.

mood

Kiera wrote: »

You told him you'd go to his hometown and cancelled. Then didnt contact him for a week. Do you think this gives the impression you like him?

I dont see how you couldnt have dropped him a quick text/call during that week. No matter how busy you were a simple 30seconds out of your day to send a text to him wouldnt have killed you. If i was him i'd have forgotten about you by now.

I agree. You made plans with him for a particular night and then canceled because you 'had something on that night at home'. This to me sounds like you got a better offer and dropped him. This is very rude and in no way indicates you like or respect him. Also, how can you not have had time to contact him for a week? If you really liked him you would have treated him better and not messes him around.

By all means contact him again but if I were him I wouldn't be arranging another date.