Young Male......Lost in Life?!

thenashlegend

Hey guys!

I've just been looking through some of the topics here and I feel that I should give my two cents worth just to let ye know ye are not alone!:o Basically I did the Leaving Cert. last June and since August I've been unemployed! I have looked in several places for work with the usual C.V and application letter but no joy I'm afraid!:(
Its only in the last month or so that I've really started to reflect on my life.......at school I was always the one that had his homework done.....paid attention in class and got on well with everyone! But looking back I think thats where i have gone wrong? What have I got to show for it only an average Leaving cert??! I'm 18 and I've never even had a girlfriend! I was never in the "cool" gang, I dont have many friends (and even now there starting to bail on me in their college lives:( ) Everyone else that was the complete opposite to me in school have what appear to be good lives.....they have loads of friends, have gone to college, get all the pretty girls every weekend and have never done anything to deserve any of this!:mad:

One of my closest friends is a girl and we get on great together but thats as far as we go......she has no problem telling me about what lad she was with last weekend?!......while all I can do is nod and try not to explode with anger.....I've told her how I feel but thats the end of it?!:(

I know there are people much worse off than me but I just wonder what opinions you all might have?? Its basically a typical geek vs. cool kid kind of story......I work hard and what have I got in life?? meanwhile the slackers have everything they want......a girlfriend......money to go out every weekend.....a car......all the things I crave in life!!

Do ye ever think that someone is against you all?? Or is it just me that gets crapped on in every deal?

Whats missing in my life or where should I start to turn it around?!

Alessandra

Well I would start by saying there is something clearly wrong with your CV if you haven't gotten a job since last year.
Supermarkets and other min wage jobs are still hiring, get something to tide you over. Get someone to check your CV for you and apply absolutely everywhere. Try voluntary work as well to get you meeting people.

You need to start thinking more about longer term. What do you see yourself doing? An average leaving cert will still get you a place in higher education. Is there anything that appeals to you?

You are in a rut socially and until you start making plans and getting organised you are not going to meet someone. Make sure your days have a focus, job hunting and excercise are important. Get out of the house.

The economy may be bad but if you want work badly enough you can get it.

CSC

First off you need to get out of the house and start meeting people; this will improve your job prospects and your social life. There are a number of different things you can do - get involved in some voluntary work (youth clubs etc. are always looking for people to help out), register with FAS (I'm not sure what it is like now but when I was young I did a number of courses with them), join a local football club, look at the option of going to college or doing a PLC etc.

You need to get yourself out of this rut and get your life moving. There is no point reflecting on where things have gone wrong, you need to be positive and focused on how things will be better in the future.

PhysiologyRocks

Was there anything you wanted to study but missed out on the points? Repeating the Leaving Cert may be a good idea. You listened in class. You sound like you want to be kept busy. College would probably suit you, and improve your prospects. Working hard is NOT a bad thing! 'Cool' really shouldn't matter at this stage. You're an adult.

You are having a run of bad luck. I genuinely have sympathy for you. But the reason I can have this sympathy is that it happens to all of us. Bad luck is part of life for everyone to some degree. It's horrible, but true.

As for the girlfriend, you most certainly are not alone. I know quite a few guys in that situation. I haven't had a boyfriend in 5 years, but it's less of a problem if your life is otherwise full.

I'd advise you to seriously consider what you want to do with your life. Focus on achieving these goals, and make sure you take time to do things you enjoy, be it sport, dance or DIY. And let someone else know how you're feeling - not just that girl. They may really be able to help out.

Remember, things won't be like this forever.

thefeatheredcat

It won't stay like that forever...and never mind what other people are doing and focus on yourself.

They may seem to have everything and I thought that way too about some people I went to school with (the supposed 'cool' people) and those that I have met down through the years. 10 years after finishing school and down through the years I've had news from home that a lot of the people I went to school with dropped out of college, are single parents as their boyfriend didn't stick around, living off welfare, used to get beaten up by their partners, screwed up by drink and drugs, are junkies, homeless, debts up to their ears, gone missing and fallen out of contact with family and friends, in mental institutions or have killed themselves.

Others have made something of themselves and experienced great success because they worked hard for it.

It's your life and your choice what you do with it. Explore what options you have if you can't find a job (and not for lack of trying). Relationships and friends will come and also go but those who are true friends will stick around and support you.

You're having a bit of bad luck, but stick it out it will be worth it. Start building towards the things you want and prioritise, build up other skills in the meantime such as driving. Don't fall into the trap of begrudgery as this will only enforce a negative attitude. Build up your confidence and self esteem and meet new people especially those with positive attitudes and keep a positive attitude yourself.