Stuck in a rut!

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this, Ill make it as short as possible,

I'm in my mid 20`s and have a good job and so on, am told I'm great fun to be around and "good looking" I have a good group of friends but they all have kids and are in relationships.

How am I to meet a man if these girls wont leave our local and go out elsewhere because they aren't looking for love because they already have it?

I can be quite out going but also shy at the same time if that makes sense.

Every evening after work I come home and thats it for the night, every second weekend or so they girls will want to go out which is fine, we go to the pub and possibly the club, the club we go to is quite small and therefore we know everyone there and none could be relationship material - they all only want the same thing!

Im just stuck in a rut which I have only myself to blame, I need to know how to get out of it and start getting out there. My friends never want to go anywhere new and even during the week cant go to the cinema or things like that which I understand because of their kids.

Sorry for the long post

Help! I don't know what to do??

cafecolour

Make new friends who are single. I've had to do the exact same in the same situation. Your friends are in a different life phase at this point.

LegacyUser

I honestly have tried, I work by myself so only see customers of my place of work. These people are of all different ages but I really try put myself out there and still come up with nothing.

I have made friends in the past but they had their own little click already and I was only brought out to cheapen the taxi fare.

I just dont know what to do anymore

LegacyUser

Im in the same boat as you.
I am looking to start doing more hobbies.
Want to attend a drama group next week. I want to learn kickboxing.
I think the more new people you put yourself in contact with the better.

Seems alot of the things in life we make for ourself. So you really should look into doing worshops or courses etc.

As I say we are in the same boat. So check around boards.ie - they have workshops for almost everything.

LegacyUser

Ah I try getting out and doing things but where I live theres very little other than church things! Cant see myself going finding my dream man there

I have done courses trying to get out and about and the last one I did I was the only one under 40!

ChocolateRamses

Dance classes.

If there are any in your area, or even within driving distance I'd say give that a whirl. Generally an easy going atmosphere, new people every week, great way to make new contacts.

EDIT: Plus the guys awho have the wherewithal to go to dance classes might be slightly less "only after one thing", not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm only ever after one thing >;D

thefeatheredcat

You're not going to meet somebody new unless you're prepared to go to places you don't go or get out of the area you're in and see how green the grass is in other places.

If it's a small town you're in chances are you already know everybody and everybody knows you. Do you go away for weekends to other towns and cities?

Make some plans for yourself to get away from where you are and meet new people in other parts of the county/city/country. A band you like playing elsewhere is a good excuse to get away. A weekend break in another city will give you the chance to meet new people and may open your eyes to what else you can have in general.

Don't get trapped in the small town mentality and settling for Mr X that you've known for donkeys years and seeing at mass or whatever and sitting in the same pub every weekend unless you actually want that. If you want something more, be prepared to explore on your own. It takes courage to do it, but you never know what opportunities and chances are awaiting you!

EDIT:
If you have an interest in the arts, make an effort to go to arts festivals/art gallery events, cultural events, theatre, concerts, stuff like that. You'll get to meet a broader range of people with different interests. And I agree with physiology rocks, tell your friends how you feel, they may not realise you feel this way and be understanding but don't let yourself fall out with them unnecessarily.

PhysiologyRocks

A pub or club is probably not the best place anyway, even if it's not your local. They're loud, and people are drunk. And they stink, which is unromantic, to say the least.

I'd second those who say you should attend workshops and the like- and not in your area.

And finally, maybe tell your friends how you feel, if you haven't already. They may be very understanding.