Friend has blocked me

LegacyUser

I have a group of friends who wouldn't be close friends who I go out with once a week to watch live music, and meet up with the odd weekend. I got a message on Facebook yesterday about going out to a pub/club tonight. Now, I have just been diagnosed with an illness that's fairly serious, could ruin my ability to have children and is painful and am on two lots of very strong antibiotics. So in addition to not being able to drink alcohol, I really don't feel like going out and I'm pretty depressed about the whole thing to the extent that I've been referred to a counsellor. I replied to the message saying 'not tomorrow, sorry, I'm not well and on strong medication so can't drink, maybe next time'. The next time I log on, I see the message gone and realise my friend has blocked me! I saw a mutual friend online and she said he's annoyed that I wouldn't go out and took a huff and blocked me.

My jaw nearly dropped to the floor. How self absorbed can someone be? I get that he thinks I'm making an excuse about being sick, but would you not stop for one minute and think that maybe someone had something going on in their life, and going out drinking really wasn't on their priority list? That maybe me not wanting to go out had nothing to do with him? What should I say next time I bump into him? I don't think I should have to explain anything about my illness, but I'm absolutely blazing that saying I wasn't going out led to him blocking me - what an overreaction, even if I wasn't genuinely sick!

metrovelvet

That person is not your friend.

mr_edge_to_you

metrovelvet wrote: »

That person is not your friend.

+1

LegacyUser

Well, obviously. Sorry if I didn't make it clear that I will not be meeting up with him again, and that he was more of a 'live music buddy' anyway, but I'll probably bump into him around and I really feel like telling him he's a self absorbed piece of sh*t. I can't even imagine why anyone would do that. If someone told me, they couldn't go out, I'd think a) I hope everything is OK, and would probably tell them to feel better soon or b) maybe it's an excuse, but I still hope everything is OK. What's wrong with people today that everything is always about them?

LegacyUser

shocked798 wrote: »

Well, obviously. Sorry if I didn't make it clear that I will not be meeting up with him again, and that he was more of a 'live music buddy' anyway, but I'll probably bump into him around and I really feel like telling him he's a self absorbed piece of sh*t. I can't even imagine why anyone would do that. If someone told me, they couldn't go out, I'd think a) I hope everything is OK, and would probably tell them to feel better soon or b) maybe it's an excuse, but I still hope everything is OK. What's wrong with people today that everything is always about them?

I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you're going through at the moment. I hope things start looking up for you soon.
It can't have been easy seeing you were blocked on Facebook, especially when you're going through a rough patch. Unfortunately, you will always meet people who think that the world revolves aound them, and that the world has done them an injustice, and the way to deal with that injustice is to block a friend on Facebook. It's got nothing to do with what you've done, the person who blocked you has issues and doesn't know how to deal with things when they don't go right.
Meet up with the rest of your friends and enjoy yourself, I'm sure you'll find further down the line that you weren't the only one to upset this particular friend. This friend will find himself more and more alone until he learns to deal with small issues in a way that doesn't alienate the people around him.

2manyconditions

OP, this person is a spa and doesn't deserve thinkin about. Its just as well you know what this person is about anyway.

I'd be careful about what you say to him as your mutual 'friends' may very well take his side over yours. Thats if you want them to remain live music buddies. They sound fickle to be honest. (one of them appears to be making excuses for him already) But then I don't know them.

hope you feel better soon anyways, try focus on that.

Take care of yourself

oil painting

Will you tell your mates about how sick you are, maybe when it gets back to the guy who blocked you he will feel bad and teach him not to be so presumptuous in the future, yeah why did he take such offense after you expressed what you were going through. Are your mates giving you any flack because of the change in yourself, very often when someone starts being a bit depressed in life their mates can get frustrated by it and not understand it, you need to be around good friends that are supportive and understanding, how are you coping have you a support network around you, is the therapy helping, all the best, be well my friend XX

LegacyUser

I'm not acting depressed, I've masked it by being really upbeat this week. I was only diagnosed a week ago. I don't really want to explain what's wrong, it's upsetting for me.

ChocolateRamses

In fairness we're only getting one side of the story here, and the OP has not told her friends how sick she is (not that I'm saying she should, but this is relevant to her friends perspective on the situation).

From the friends angle this could be a "cry wolf" scenario, if the op often cancels then this friend, who doesn't realise exactly how sick she is, is within his rights to be annoyed.

If the situation is one the OP can't discuss with her friends, which I understand can happen, that's unfortunate, but rather than burning bridges as other posters would have you do, I'd suggest bearing in mind that he may genuinely feel you're just blowing him off, whereas if he understood what was happening he might not feel that way.

The question you need to ask is will you miss this friendship when you're feeling better? If not, thenm go ahead and burn that bridge, but if you will miss it then I'd suggest finding some alternative.

LegacyUser

I'm not blowing anyone off. These aren't close friends, they're more like acquaintances. We meet up weekly for a pint and to watch live music. We rarely meet up at the weekend as it is. I get the impression he really felt like going out, he was frustrated that I wouldn't go and therefore got angry with me. I feel like he was bullying me into going, and when I said I wasn't well, he responded with 'nooo!' rather than saying to get well soon or something like that. Like the fact he'd have to stay in on a Saturday night is the only thing he can think of. Even if I wasn't sick, and even if I'd just said I felt like staying in, so what? You can't defriend someone because they wouldn't go out when you wanted to, one time.

neuro-praxis

I know this is an aside, but you might be pleased to hear given your circumstances that alcohol and antibiotics are actually perfectly compatible (it's a myth that you can't have them together).

If this person is simply an acquaintance, cut your losses and move on. Speak to a close friend for the emotional support you need right now. Best of luck.

ChocolateRamses

shocked798 wrote: »

I'm not blowing anyone off. These aren't close friends, they're more like acquaintances. We meet up weekly for a pint and to watch live music. We rarely meet up at the weekend as it is. I get the impression he really felt like going out, he was frustrated that I wouldn't go and therefore got angry with me. I feel like he was bullying me into going, and when I said I wasn't well, he responded with 'nooo!' rather than saying to get well soon or something like that. Like the fact he'd have to stay in on a Saturday night is the only thing he can think of. Even if I wasn't sick, and even if I'd just said I felt like staying in, so what? You can't defriend someone because they wouldn't go out when you wanted to, one time.

Look I'm not telling you how to pick your friends, but this guy is totally unaware of your situation, you don't know that he's not having some problems of his own and maybe was hoping to get out with you for a few drinks.

I'm simply pointing out that right now you're doing exactly what you're accusing him of right now.

TPD

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I know this is an aside, but you might be pleased to hear given your circumstances that alcohol and antibiotics are actually perfectly compatible (it's a myth that you can't have them together).

To counter this, I've heard of people mixing drinks and antibiotics, and ending up passed out / throwing up after maybe 3 units of alcohol.

Ask your doctor before taking advice from the internet.

Firetrap

ChocolateRamses wrote: »

Look I'm not telling you how to pick your friends, but this guy is totally unaware of your situation, you don't know that he's not having some problems of his own and maybe was hoping to get out with you for a few drinks.

I'm simply pointing out that right now you're doing exactly what you're accusing him of right now.

Is blocking the OP on Facebook not over the top though?

LegacyUser

ChocolateRamses wrote: »

Look I'm not telling you how to pick your friends, but this guy is totally unaware of your situation, you don't know that he's not having some problems of his own and maybe was hoping to get out with you for a few drinks.

I'm simply pointing out that right now you're doing exactly what you're accusing him of right now.

How on earth am I doing that? I wasn't rude, I wasn't mean, I politely declined an invitation. I'm well aware he might have problems of his own, but I didn't defriend him on Facebook and make him feel even worse. I didn't snap at him when he kept pestering me to go out when I kept saying I was sick and on medication. I don't know what could be 'crying wolf' about it when I meet up with him almost every week. He's not even a close friend, the type I'd talk to about personal issues and stuff. The mutual friend said he really wanted to go out, he was annoyed that neither of us could go, and got in a huff about it because he'd have to stay in tonight. I should mention that he's French, not Irish, so there's probably some cultural issue in there somewhere. The whole thing is weird. The mutual friend says he fancies me (I have a long term bf but I don't think he knows that, as we barely ever talk about our personal lives, just music and general chat) and perhaps he feels like I'm messing him around? Again, I have no idea why he would think that and neither does mutual friend (she is French as well). She's as confused as I am, and she said she thinks he's a weirdo.

And The Perfect Drug, this particular antibiotic is absolutely not to be mixed with alcohol, and if I didn't make it clear, I'm quite seriously ill. I'm certainly not in any state to be going out anywhere for at least the next few weeks.

sam34

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I know this is an aside, but you might be pleased to hear given your circumstances that alcohol and antibiotics are actually perfectly compatible (it's a myth that you can't have them together).

this isnt true across the board.

some antibiotics are compatible with alcohol but others can cause a very severe and dangerous reaction when combined with alcohol.

flagyl (metronidazole) in particular is a dodgy one to drink with

best option is to clarify with the prescribing doctor or dispensing pharmacist

ChocolateRamses

Firetrap wrote: »

Is blocking the OP on Facebook not over the top though?

Depends on the people involved I suppose. And how important they think facebook is as a measure of friendship.

LegacyUser

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I know this is an aside, but you might be pleased to hear given your circumstances that alcohol and antibiotics are actually perfectly compatible (it's a myth that you can't have them together).

Sorry, off topic - but I wouldn't be telling people that. Although anti-biotics and drink together may not make you ill, the alcohol can actually interfere with the working of the medication, so you should always check with a doc if you're going to drink on a particular med.

LeixlipRed

I really hope the friend is 14 years old because that's the most pathetically childish thing I've ever heard.

limklad

OP I consider your friend/acquaintance very immature and consider his behaviour something a 3 year tantrum child behave and therefore do not worry about his block of you on facebook, since he cannot handle a simple going out request rejection no matter the reason why. All he has done is make his world smaller. There are an estimate 6,692,030,277 people in the world to go out with, sorry take 2 from that figure, you and your tantrumatic childish ex-friend/ ex-acquaintance.

neuro-praxis

Just_a_note wrote: »

Sorry, off topic - but I wouldn't be telling people that. Although anti-biotics and drink together may not make you ill, the alcohol can actually interfere with the working of the medication, so you should always check with a doc if you're going to drink on a particular med.

Off topic: By all means check with your doctor. But ten minutes' research will tell you that Amoxicillin-based antibiotics can generally be taken with alcohol just fine. I'm not talking about binge drinking here, that's not going to be good for the health of a healthy person, never mind a sick one.

The comments about passing out are in relation to the rare people who find antibiotics make them dizzy or sleepy. Adding a depressant to that won't help, obviously.

But a glass or two of wine or a hot toddy won't make a blind bit of difference to the effectiveness of the vast majority of antibiotics in the vast majority of people.

There is a lot of scaremongering on this topic for some reason. Much more dangerous is taking painkillers with alcohol, which people do on a daily basis without a thought.

/end off-topic

sam34

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Off topic: By all means check with your doctor. But ten minutes' research will tell you that Amoxicillin-based antibiotics can generally be taken with alcohol just fine. I'm not talking about binge drinking here, that's not going to be good for the health of a healthy person, never mind a sick one.

The comments about passing out are in relation to the rare people who find antibiotics make them dizzy or sleepy. Adding a depressant to that won't help, obviously.

But a glass or two of wine or a hot toddy won't make a blind bit of difference to the effectiveness of the vast majority of antibiotics in the vast majority of people.

There is a lot of scaremongering on this topic for some reason. Much more dangerous is taking painkillers with alcohol, which people do on a daily basis without a thought.

/end off-topic

thats some irresponsible advice you've given there.

firstly, the op didnt mention which type of antibiotic she's on - she has sadi only that they are two very strong antibiotics. so you cant assume theyre amoxicillen based and thus safe to drink with.


secondly, its not really the effectiveness thats an issue if you drink with certain antibiotics, its the interaction of the two and the effects of this - mixing flagyl with alcohol can be disastrous.

lastly, it is perfectly ok to mix some painkillers with alcohol, some, not all. and the reactions thus produced are not necessarily "far more dangerous" than the reaction produced by mixing flagyl with alcohol.

Claire121

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Off topic: By all means check with your doctor. But ten minutes' research will tell you that Amoxicillin-based antibiotics can generally be taken with alcohol just fine. I'm not talking about binge drinking here, that's not going to be good for the health of a healthy person, never mind a sick one.

The comments about passing out are in relation to the rare people who find antibiotics make them dizzy or sleepy. Adding a depressant to that won't help, obviously.

But a glass or two of wine or a hot toddy won't make a blind bit of difference to the effectiveness of the vast majority of antibiotics in the vast majority of people.

There is a lot of scaremongering on this topic for some reason. Much more dangerous is taking painkillers with alcohol, which people do on a daily basis without a thought.

/end off-topic

Only a complete idiot would tell someone who has clearly been told not to drink by a doctor that drinking is fine. Why on earth you think you know better when you don't even know what medication she's on is beyond me. As someone pointed out, Flagyl mixed with alcohol can be disastrous. The best you can expect with that combination is to get violently ill. I don't know why you would assume she's on an amoxicillin based antibiotic when she's seriously ill and is taking two different types. She has said she can't drink - it's extremely arrogant and presumptuous of you to assume she's stupid and hasn't checked it out.

neuro-praxis

Feel free to report my posts if you have issues with them.

I had an engaged conversation with my GP on the topic in October when I was on penicillin myself, and while in hospital over Christmas, had the same conversation with an A&E doc. They said a couple of glasses of wine or a hot toddy was perfectly fine with most antibiotics. I'm not too worried about the OTT responses.

Obviously do whatever your own doctor advises you.

neuro-praxis

Claire121 wrote: »

Only a complete idiot would tell someone who has clearly been told not to drink by a doctor that drinking is fine.

Thanks for the personal abuse. I would never advise someone to go against what their own doctor has advised. I offered an alternative to common "wisdom" regarding antibiotics. This is my last word on the topic. Do some research yourself.

Claire121

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Thanks for the personal abuse. I would never advise someone to go against what their own doctor has advised. I offered an alternative to common "wisdom" regarding antibiotics. This is my last word on the topic. Do some research yourself.

That is exactly what you are doing. OP said she couldn't drink while on this medication, and you, having no idea what she's taking, what is wrong with her or anything else, decided to say that drinking while on antibiotics is harmless. Nobody was asking whether they should drink, you just decided to be a smartarse. What does it matter what 'most' antibiotics do?

I don't need to do any research - I already know very well that certain antibiotics cannot be mixed with alcohol and that based on what OP has said, Flagyl would be fairly likely as a medication. Perhaps you should do some research instead of being arrogant enough to assume that because someone said YOU were fine to drink on YOUR antibiotics, that it applies to everyone.

sam34

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Feel free to report my posts if you have issues with them.

I had an engaged conversation with my GP on the topic in October when I was on penicillin myself, and while in hospital over Christmas, had the same conversation with an A&E doc. They said a couple of glasses of wine or a hot toddy was perfectly fine with most antibiotics. I'm not too worried about the OTT responses.

Obviously do whatever your own doctor advises you.

but the thing is, we dont know which ones the op is on, so its completely irresponsible to advise her about drinking.

LegacyUser

neuro-praxia, FOR THE THIRD TIME on this thread, I CANNOT drink alcohol while taking these antibiotics. I am on Flagyl and the combination is extremely dangerous.

Wibbs

Lets keep the medical and pharmacological advice out of this please. If the OP's doctor has advised them that's the advice to take, so lets get back on topic please.

Satyr_The_Great

Chocolateramses,, the op is sick,, she doesnt need the crap you're giving her....she asked for advice not to get crap about her situation.
OP, if i ws you id just forget about it for now and next time you see the friend, just ask her what happened and why she did what she did. Just go about it really calmly and it should be ok. I have been in similar situations myself.

oil painting

Hi OP,

Have you heard anything from your friends since you first posted, how are you feeling about it all now? are you thinking of saying anything to anyone about what happened and about how sick you are, your first priority should be yourself right now and making life comfortable for yourself, wish you all the best, be well XX

Nevyn

Sounds like that person is not your friend, seems they are a dramatist or is trying to punish you for not doing what they wanted and frankly if you are ill you are ill.

I can't always make it to nights out with friends or parties or birthdays due to my kids or not being well and a reall friend know that and does not expect you to be dancing on attendance constantly.

Claire121

Thaedydal wrote: »

Sounds like that person is not your friend, seems they are a dramatist or is trying to punish you for not doing what they wanted and frankly if you are ill you are ill.

I can't always make it to nights out with friends or parties or birthdays due to my kids or not being well and a reall friend know that and does not expect you to be dancing on attendance constantly.

Yeah, it's bullying and it's extremely selfish. It's one thing to nag someone to go out without realising how sick they are, but another to actually delete them on Facebook and stop talking to them just because they wouldn't go out!

Moomoo1

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Feel free to report my posts if you have issues with them.

I had an engaged conversation with my GP on the topic in October when I was on penicillin myself, and while in hospital over Christmas, had the same conversation with an A&E doc. They said a couple of glasses of wine or a hot toddy was perfectly fine with most antibiotics. I'm not too worried about the OTT responses.

Obviously do whatever your own doctor advises you.

funny that, last time I tried drinking a couple of glasses of wine after taking antibiotics, I felt a spitting headache and felt like lying down and falling asleep.

I don't think a glass of wine with antibiotics will kill you, or even do any sort of damage, but it will give you a very uncomfortable night, and that's really more than enough reason not to do it.