Is this cheating?

LegacyUser

Hi, would like some opinions on this please. My bf of 7 years and I are in the process of breaking up. I am looking for somewhere new to live which may take a few weeks although hopefully sooner. This has been coming for a few months at least but probably longer if I am more honest. He is the one saying he doesn't see a future with us and cant give me what I want so I have decided to take action and leave. I am heartbroken but also trying to be sensible and logical about it too. We are determined to be amicable and we are sticking to it so far.
However, last night I was out with work friends in Dublin and I started chatting to a guy I know from years and years ago. Never really had much interest in him when I was younger but just really clicked with him last night. He is gorgeous and very funny. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. He is away travelling now for a month so will call me when he gets back (he has already text me this morning saying hi). I am under no illusion that this will be a relationship or anything but I reckon that the next few months/year will probably be **** hard so I may as well have a laugh and some fun and distraction while going through my break-up. Again I see it as nothing other than distraction, I am not fooling myself that I'll be ready or willing to start straight into anther serious relationship.

But then I came home and my bf hugged me (we still hug each other but have not had sex for months - one of the reasons I am happy to let this relationship go - and we don't kiss each other) and I felt very guilty. Is this cheating? Not sure how I would feel if he did the same thing but on the other hand, he is the one who is saying our relationship is finished.

What do you think?

bambera

I think that you're in a bit of a complicated situation and bringing someone else into it may complicate things more. When you say that you're in the process of breaking up, do you mean that you have broken up and are just waiting to find a new place or that you are waiting to find a new place before you break up?
On the other hand though you mention that this other guy won't be back for a month, so maybe you should concentrate on getting yourself sorted out first and then start having some fun.

cafecolour

If your boyfriend says it's over, and you think it's over, you're not 'in the process of breaking up' - you've broken up and you're in the process of extricating yourself and moving out.

So no, not cheating. Though I'd move out as soon as possible - I wouldn't recommend trying to date someone while living with an ex.

Just reread your post - you've told your BF you are leaving/moving out, correct? If this is a situation where he's said some ambiguous things about not having a future and you've decided it's over without saying as such to him, then I'd definitely make that clear to him.

Miss Fluff

A few years ago I broke up with my BF of six years and for various reasons we had to live together for a month before finally going our seperate ways . We were still affectionate although I wouldn't have sex with him as didn't think it was fair to him etc, but I slept with someone during that month I was still living with him. It is not cheating in any shape or form but I don't think your ex BF needs to know about this other guy either. So essentially, forget any guilt you may have but don't necessarily rub his nose in it either.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all your replies, so much.

Bambera - i totally get what you're saying about someone else complicating things. I thought the whole thing was ideal that I won't see this guy for a month so things will have settled down a bit by then. I didn't tell him the situation I was in because it might sound like I'm making excuses or something but I will be honest with him when I see him. However I don't see anything serious happening between us anyway.

Cafecolour - my bf definitely knows I am moving out and we both know the situation.

Miss Fluff - good to hear I'm not the only one in the situation, thanks.