Building self-esteem

Robby91

I've been having issues with self-esteem and confidence in general, and it's been bugging the hell out of me lately... so, I'm looking for any tips or ideas as regards things I could do to help myself out with this, it'd be greatly appreciated.

Primarily, the problem mostly manifests through conversation (or, rather, lack thereof). Even in a simple chat with friends, I find myself somewhat left out of conversation either because (1) I have little interest in what they are talking about and have little, if anything, to add to the conversation or (2) anything that I can/would like to talk about, everyone else doesn't really have much interest in it (the joys of individuality, I suppose ). Then, these people would be able to talk about utter sh*t for hours, yet I find difficulty in speaking about something I like (and am interested in) for a few minutes without boring everyone, or just running dry, so to speak.
As a result, I end up feeling fairly inadequate because I find myself nigh-on completely incapable of having a half-decent chat with anyone.

There's probably more stuff that gets me bogged down about this, but I'm too tired to think about it all right now

tenchi-fan

I find when I'm with a bunch of friends I end up talking sh*te too (slagging each other, discussing other people, being politically incorrect) and I hate when someone brings football into the convo because I don't know enough about it to bluff my way through the convo.

If you have interests (photography, writing, etc) it might be an idea to join a few local clubs or do an evening course and try to make friends you can discuss your actual interests with. You'll still have your old friends for going out drinking with or whatever.

oil painting

Hi,

Maybe your hanging around with the wrong people if your not really interested in the conversations? you might not have a lot in common with them? It should be easy to express yourself around a comfortable environment.

Hard to know really about what advice to offer because whos to know if your self esteem issues started in your home environment? if you were ever criticized for expressing yourself at home maybe you found it better not to say anything at all? I know for me that was the case, i was always put down so i was afraid to express myself, i have built up my self esteem and confidence now through listening to my needs, like i used to hate confrontation but then you get walked on if you dont stand up for yourself, having a voice is very important.

Robby91

Bleh, nearly forgot about having started this thread... >.<

oil painting wrote: »

Hi,

Maybe your hanging around with the wrong people if your not really interested in the conversations? you might not have a lot in common with them? It should be easy to express yourself around a comfortable environment.

Hard to know really about what advice to offer because whos to know if your self esteem issues started in your home environment? if you were ever criticized for expressing yourself at home maybe you found it better not to say anything at all? I know for me that was the case, i was always put down so i was afraid to express myself, i have built up my self esteem and confidence now through listening to my needs, like i used to hate confrontation but then you get walked on if you dont stand up for yourself, having a voice is very important.

Well, most of the stuff they talk about is just generally what-went-on-last-night, or gossiping/talking random sh*te. I'm not one for going out (that often, at any rate)... There are shared interests (things like games, music) but, particularly in the case of music, differences in genre of choice does butt in and results in confused expressions or "oooook..." :P
Not too many heavy metal fans in my lecture group (and I suppose I'd just be nervous about joining a Society or such-like and meeting new people)

As regards at home, I can't really say I'm criticised for expressing myself but I don't really know of much that I would want/need to express. Then again, I tend not to remember much about this kind of stuff so perhaps some memories of criticism have been repressed.