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short poem

Mark Santos · 2010-01-20 21:42:49

Waiter? What moon is this on my plate? Take it back please. I ordered the sun. I've had this poem in a notebook of mine for a long, long time. I'm not sure if I should expand it or leave it...

20-01-2010 9:42pm

#1

Mark Santos

Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭

Join Date: January 2010

Posts: 9

Waiter? What moon is this on my plate?
Take it back please.
I ordered the sun.

I've had this poem in a notebook of mine for a long, long time. I'm not sure if I should expand it or leave it...

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Comments

#2 24-01-2010 8:17pm

corriblight

Closed Accounts Posts: 13 ✭

Join Date: July 2009

Posts: 9

Hi Mark,

I really feel this needs to be expanded on. It is very short and all it really tells us is that you didn't get what you ordered when eating out, unless I am missing something. I wish I could be more postitive. I think you can a lot better than this.

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