Anger against ex and gf's ex

LegacyUser

I recently broke up with my girlfriend, because of her ex girlfriends constant interference in our relationship. I had my suspicions that my girlfriend still had feelings for her ex throughout the relationship, which she always denied. Then after one fight we had, my then girlfriend went out with some friends, and bumped into her ex who gave her some speel about never having got over her and being sorry for all the things she had done to her when they were together and how sorry she was for how she had ended it.

This conversation resulted in our break up. Initally I had been quite calm and ok about things. But the more I think about it the angrier I feel at both of them. I feel like my ex used me and was never honest with me, and I wasted six months of my life on her. My heart is broke and I feel so sad. I also feel nothing but pure rage against her ex who just seems to do what she likes to people and get away with it. Right now I absolutly hate both of them and have no idea how to deal with all this. Has anyone been in this position(I'm gay by the way just incase there was any confusion about that) The ex and her ex are not back together or anything, but I am just so confused and angry.

Wagon

Well, none of this was your fault. Your ex still had feelings for her ex and therefore shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with you. Her ex in turn is just a pain in the arse and helped ruin it and you got hurt. So yeah i can't blame you for being angry at them both, i know i would be too.

Best way to deal with it? Hate them all you want until it's out of your system. I know people say its just a waste of energy but bollocks to that, its part of being human. sometimes you just can't help it. Eventually it'll subside. Also, no contact with your ex. It'll only delay everything and the whole thing will be dragged out. If she asks for friendship and you can't stand her you know what the correct answer is to that one.

And just give it some time really. Just remember that your ex is a bit of a bitch and that's what she'll attract. From the situation you've described, you can do better. And after a while, you'll be past it and it won't even cross your mind. Best of luck

limklad

This kind of thing we risk every time we go in to relationships. We risk our heart every time. Yes we feel angry, sad, depress, etc when we feel betrayed by partners and ex's or the relationship falls apart. Itis our feeling that the majority cannot see what is obvious to everybody else, we also cannot help how we feel and it is difficult to control strong emotions such a love. From what you say, your ex probably was in denial of her feelings for her ex after the break up of her previous relationship.

We also can betray others when we fall in love, or have sexual feeling for someone else which effects our relationship partners, we cannot help our feelings no matter how much we promise to stay with our partners. That the risks we take.

When it happens to me with an ex, I had to ask the question "Do we trap our partners in to staying in a relationship where they are going to be miserable and depress or punish them for the breakup or do we love them enough to let them go and allow them to feel happy?" I choose to let her go as I would feel miserable to see her unhappy. That the question you need to ask your self.

It is better to love and lost than not love at all.

kittenkiller

The only thing you can do is try to move on.
If their not together at the moment then, personally, I feel your rage is irrational.
But after a break up nothing is irrational really, so give yourself a break.

Just do what you can to move one and forget about it.
Six months isn't really *that* long in the grand scheme of things.
try to remember the fun times rather than the feelings of hurt, betrayal and of being duped.
You'll find someone new soon enough.
It's all experience!

Best of luck.