Joke!!!

irishdub14

Didn't know where to put it, so i just put it here.......
Looks long but it isnt, very funny.....

The Power of Interpretation

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy . There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy ; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said
that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy !!!

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

'Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

'I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins.
He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

'He bested me at every move and I could not continue.'


Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.
'I haven't a clue' the rabbi said. 'First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger.

'Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.'

'And then what?' asked a woman.

'Who knows?' said the rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine.'

My name is URL

There's a Humour forum you know

AH is for serious business :pac:

Terry

Pair of feckin' eejits.
We all know that there is no such thing as God.

brummytom

God it's been years since I last heard that


Thought it was shit then too

emeraldstar

I like apples. Pink Ladies are the nicest.

brummytom

emeraldstar wrote: »

I like apples. Pink Ladies are the nicest.

Definitely. Especially when you stick them in the fridge and they go slightly crispy

emeraldstar

brummytom wrote: »

Definitely. Especially when you stick them in the fridge and they go slightly crispy

Exactly. I'm the only one in my family who puts apples in the fridge. Can never understand why. They're far nicer that way.

brummytom

Ooh definitely. Royal Gala are nice aswell

Archeron

emeraldstar wrote: »

Exactly. I'm the only one in my family who puts apples in the fridge. Can never understand why. They're far nicer that way.

I have learned from this thread.

Thank you OP

emeraldstar

Archeron wrote: »

I have learned from this thread.

Delighted to be of service.

Liam Byrne

My name is URL wrote: »

There's a Humour forum you know

Don't think the post qualifies.

irishdub14 wrote: »

Looks long but it isnt, very funny.....

Definitely a misplaced comma!

Fago!

irishdub14 wrote: »

Didn't know where to put it, so i just put it here.......
Looks long but it isnt, very funny.....

The Power of Interpretation

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy . There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy ; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said
that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy !!!

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

'Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

'I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins.
He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

'He bested me at every move and I could not continue.'


Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.
'I haven't a clue' the rabbi said. 'First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger.

'Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.'

'And then what?' asked a woman.

'Who knows?' said the rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine.'

http://www.brittanauction.com/images/tumbleweed.gif

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1143/1369658074_a56ad5bad6.jpg

spudington16

Seeing as the joke isn't in Humour I'm going to relish circumventing the rules there which disallow my saying I dislike a joke.

Your joke, my good sir, is a pile of shíte.

Not really, but I've always resented not having the option to say I dislike a joke in Humour. Apologies for hurt feelings, OP.

irishdub14

Sorry for wasting your time guys... dont worry, will never post a joke again.......!!

OutlawPete

irishdub14 wrote: »

Sorry for wasting your time guys... dont worry, will never post a joke again.......!!

Don't take it personal, it's all said tongue in cheek - well, most of it

URL's post was good advice.

You'll find more appreciation in The Humour Forum.

4zn76tysfajdxp

irishdub14 wrote: »

Looks long but it isnt very funny.....

Agreed. Locked to protect people's feelings.