Straight forward question....

gimmick

..I am on the verge of popping the question. The thing I am completely unsure of is the ring. When one proposes, do I have to have the actual ring then and there, or just something ubtil the one she wants is bought?

Also, and I do not want to sound like I am being tight here, but what is the deal with buying the actual ring? Do I buy it, or do we go 50/50 on it?

Funny, I am 31 and have no idea to the answer of either of the above.

transpiral

Well done. That is a bid step. My advice is to have a ring and you should definately not ask her to go 50/50 on it!!

Menas

There is no right or wrong answer to the first question.
It depends on herself.
In my case, I knew that it would be better to propose without a ring and I was proven right.
She had very set ideas in what she wanted in an engagement ring.
Shopping for a ring together is fun, and you need to be open with her on the cost.

If she thinks money is no object you could end up with misaligned expectations. So best to talk about it openly, you are getting married after all , no secrets!

dollybird2

Depends on your girlfriend - would she like you to have the ring chosen or to choose it herself? I love my jewellery and am very particular about it so my partner asked me with a cheap cubic zirconia ring and then took me shopping for my real one.

Regards price of rings - there are gorgeous ones from a couple of hundred euros right up to thousands. I was given free rein to pick my own ring with no budget or limits and the one I chose was approx 1.5k which I now know was actually one of the cheaper ones we looked at!

prinz

gimmick wrote: »

When one proposes, do I have to have the actual ring then and there, or just something ubtil the one she wants is bought?

I would, and did, get the ring before hand and had it. However we had talked about getting engaged prior to this and basically we knew it was coming down the line, so it wasn't some big suprise to her. Plus that gave me an insight into what kind of ring she'd like.

gimmick wrote: »

Also, and I do not want to sound like I am being tight here, but what is the deal with buying the actual ring? Do I buy it, or do we go 50/50 on it?

It's up to the couple tbh. Some women would be happy to, some wouldn't. Rings don't have to cost the earth either.

gimmick

When it comes to any of the jewelery I have bought her, I usually get it pretty wrong as her tastes change a tad too often. I cannot call this one though - should "I know" or does she "want to be part of getting what will most likely be the most important/expensive single piece of jewellery she is likely to have for quite a while".

Decisions decisions

Bookkeeper09

Got engaged a couple of weeks ago. Fiance proposed without any ring and we went shopping for the ring the following day. Hadn't really thought of what kind of ring I would like/would suit my hand.....so honestly would not have expected him to know what type of a ring I would like.

Also a friend of mine got engaged last year. She and her boyfriend had gone shopping for a ring with the the intention that he would then propose.....but was about 3 months later before he actually did.

gimmick

Well this is going to be an out of the blue surprise anyway.

Bookkeeper09

Yep was definitely a surprise for me too!
Actually thought it a bit strange the way my friend did it

antiskeptic

gimmick wrote: »

..I am on the verge of popping the question. The thing I am completely unsure of is the ring. When one proposes, do I have to have the actual ring then and there, or just something ubtil the one she wants is bought?

Even women who claim disinterest get interested in rings and dresses to do with marraige. My advice is buy a costume ring that looks traditional for the proposal - if wanting to surprise. Try to get the size by using a ring she has

Also, and I do not want to sound like I am being tight here, but what is the deal with buying the actual ring? Do I buy it, or do we go 50/50 on it?

I've never heard on a girl going halves on her engagement ring!

Look at it this way. Your getting engaged to be married. When you get married your resources are shared (typically). In which case, there is no buying it out of your/her. It's a communal pocket already.


Congrates by the way.

gimmick

I think the element of surpirse has to be there. I have a plan on what i want to do. It will be fairly understated and totally non cliché but will be nice all the same Id say. Defo not in public.

RentDayBlues

I got engaged a couple of weeks ago - OH proposed with a ring that was his, which I thought was lovely. What was even nicer was that he had picked a ring and had made an appointment in the jewelers for me to go in and see it - I was free to pick a different one if I wanted.

I thought this was a good compromise as we both then got to decide. Best of luck

Bookkeeper09

antiskeptic wrote: »

. Try to get the size by using a ring she has
.

Only problem with this is that girls usually dont wear a ring on their ring finger prior to getting engaged.
My other rings dont fit on my ring finger on my left hand....even the one I wear on the same finger on the other hand

BC

gimmick wrote: »

..I am on the verge of popping the question. The thing I am completely unsure of is the ring. When one proposes, do I have to have the actual ring then and there, or just something ubtil the one she wants is bought?

This question has been asked lots of times, do a search and you'll find plenty of responses. I'm of the opinion that she should pick her own ring and I would have hated to be given a ring but it really depends on the person.

gimmick wrote: »

Also, and I do not want to sound like I am being tight here, but what is the deal with buying the actual ring? Do I buy it, or do we go 50/50 on it?

Usually its bought by the guy - its considered a present. If money is tight then don't buy an expensive ring - buy within your budget.

keane2097

Congrats gimmick.

To me it sounds like the best thing is to have a dummy ring for the occasion and then bring her shopping.

Good luck!

pwalshy

If your unsure what she'd like, than I would probably go for the dummy ring too.

Although in saying that, my fiance got me the real thing for our (very much surprise) engagement and it was so nice having the real ring there that nite (even if he'd gotten the size too big!) I lucked out as I adore the ring he got me but if you've gotten it wrong in the past with jewellery, than stick with a dummy...I'm sure she'll be thrilled either way!

Congratulations and best of luck with the proposal!

greenkittie

I would have hated getting a dubby ring! IMO its the cowards way out. My fiance picked mine out himself and tbh I haven't seen nicer anywhere"

keane2097

greenkittie wrote: »

I would have hated getting a dubby ring! IMO its the cowards way out. My fiance picked mine out himself and tbh I haven't seen nicer anywhere"

Coward's way out is a bit harsh.

Clearly it's person-dependant.

pwalshy

If he doesn't feel that he'd get a ring she adore, (and lets face it, she'll be wearing it the rest of her life!) than I honestly don't see an issue with a dummy ring....

tinkerbell

Propose but don't buy the ring before hand. Maybe take the day off work and propose in the morning or something and then go out shopping for the ring that day - it'll be her most exciting day ever! Think of all the fun she'll have trying on all the different rings, etc. Also girls can be very particular about jewellery, she might not like what you pick out and remember she has to wear that ring for the rest of her life.

As for who buys it - traditionally it's the guy who buys it unless she suggests herself that she wants to contribute to it.

gimmick

Rather than start a new thread I have a new dilemma. I have the ring bought and am ready to go. This evening. BUT is fúcking pissing rain outside. There is no way she will dig the fact I want to go out in the rain, on a friday, when I could be in home doing nada.

So, do I alter the plans and do something at home, or put it off for a few weeks (Id rather not wait again as have had a knot in my stomach all week, don't want to go through this again.)? Is the setting for all this a big thing like? I had planned we go home after where I had fancy stuff prepared etc.

Must say, I am rather vexed with the weather :mad:

prinz

gimmick wrote: »

Rather than start a new thread I have a new dilemma. I have the ring bought and am ready to go. This evening. BUT is fúcking pissing rain outside. There is no way she will dig the fact I want to go out in the rain, on a friday, when I could be in home doing nada.

Must say, I am rather vexed with the weather :mad:

Proposal in the rain sounds good to me. I say go for it. I am sure you can think of someway to get her out in the rain. Best of luck!

j1974

gimmick wrote: »

..I am on the verge of popping the question. The thing I am completely unsure of is the ring. When one proposes, do I have to have the actual ring then and there, or just something ubtil the one she wants is bought?

Also, and I do not want to sound like I am being tight here, but what is the deal with buying the actual ring? Do I buy it, or do we go 50/50 on it?

Funny, I am 31 and have no idea to the answer of either of the above.

31 years old and youre asking should we go 50/50 on it?? give over will ya.
It's the one few times in life where you've got to sort it alone, as a man. if the 50/50 question is down to cost, just get a ring you can afford. say if you can afford 800 euro then dont ask her does she want a ring for 1600 euro i.e havo havo!!! just get the one for 800, she'd be thrilled I'm sure, unless she's a materialistic biatch, which im betting she's not.

I hear a general rule of thumb is one months salary. In my case that would be a ring for just over 2 grand. sorry girls, but thats plenty in my book.
Im thinking of doing the same myself, in New zealand, at Xmas, on the beach, as the rare chuckywawa butterflies mate in the deep red dusk skyline and where the words "I love you" seem to be carried on the wind by a chorus of song, chimed by the monogomous blue whale!!

But hey thats just me

Toots

gimmick wrote: »

Rather than start a new thread I have a new dilemma. I have the ring bought and am ready to go. This evening. BUT is fúcking pissing rain outside. There is no way she will dig the fact I want to go out in the rain, on a friday, when I could be in home doing nada.

So, do I alter the plans and do something at home, or put it off for a few weeks (Id rather not wait again as have had a knot in my stomach all week, don't want to go through this again.)? Is the setting for all this a big thing like? I had planned we go home after where I had fancy stuff prepared etc.

Must say, I am rather vexed with the weather :mad:

Go for it anyway! You could claim a really severe case of cabin fever and really really really need to get out of the house! Best of luck!! Let us know how you get on!!

gimmick

Deed done and dusted. Had to abort the original plan as the rain was bloody torrential. Now for the real nitty gritty.

Bookkeeper09

Congratulations!!!!

Rylan

I went in 2 argos and bought a decent looking ring for €18 and used that to propose. Told her what it cost after she said yes and that we would go and pick a ring that she liked out. She loved this idea and the funny thing is the ring she picked out looked very similar to the one I proposed with. Albeit 100's of times the cost.

Sergio

I recently got engaged myself and dropped to one knee whilst away on hols in tenerife over a month ago.
I used an ring that i had bought for her birthday to propose and we went to pick out the real one when we got home.

The only problem with going shopping for the ring with a women is theres no limit in the amount spent compared to if you go yourself LOL!!!

Toots

Congratulations Gimmick!