People from the internet?

LegacyUser · 17-01-2010 4:34am #1

Going unreg for this one! Basically, I was on a chatroom a while back for the laugh one night due to incredible boredom. Met this great guy who got my msn etc and I've been chatting to pretty much everynight for the last 2 weeks. He lives in near London, where I will be visiting in the near future and I'm extremely tempted to go meet him! However, I obviously have some reservations. He's 17 and I'm only 16 and I know its extremely dangerous and it could be some perverted middle aged man pretending to be him etc, but I'm quite sure it's not, if that makes any sense?! I've seen pics of him with his mates, and out of curiosity/safety googled him and actually found his contact details through finding his school website where he's a sports captain (once again I do realise this could all be his "persona")

Before you all jump down my thoughs because of the sheer dangers, I'm a very independent 16 y/o! I normally am extremely safe and sensible in the decisions which I take, although I do realise it may not seem like it right now! I often visit London due to family being over there and my parents are happy enough letting me go into the city for a day to go shopping by myself and the like when I want to!

My question is would I be completely out of my mind to go meet him?? I was thinking there of agreeing to meet in a cafe in a part of the city where I know well and are fairly busy, eg. Oxford Street/Covent Gardens! Also I know if I told my parents, they wouldn't be too happy about me talking to strangers on the internet, let alone meeting them! So should I tell them or just say I'm going shopping like I always do?

Any help/advice is welcome

Victor · 17-01-2010 5:09am

Not necessarily crazy, but it is a bit far. Whatever about meeting up with a group in your home town. This is doing it in a different city in a different country. Have you even spoken on the phone? Two weeks is a very short time.

You are aware of personas - real life personas tend to be different to internet ones. You might not get on in real life.

A few options:

1. Don't meet up this time, but get to know each other better and meet later.

2. Meet, but do so safely. Sure your parents might be sceptical, so you need to disprove that by acting responsibly. Share with your parents and friends. And if you do meet, follow the usual rules: let people know where you are going and who you are meeting, busy public place, travel independently, have your phone, bring a friend if you want, leave if you feel uncomfortable, etc.

17-01-2010 10:20am

No, not necessarily. The media likes to report on the few times a year people meet psychos from the internet, but not the millions of times nothing goes wrong. The internet has plenty of normal people! I met an online friend in Spain when I was 17 - my family was over there as well and my mum insisted on meeting him, which was fair enough as I didn't know the city at all, or much of the language, and it was all grand.

If you meet, make sure you meet in a busy place during the day, like you said, Oxford Street or Leicester Square. Ideally you should tell someone in your family or a close friend who you're meeting just in case. Obviously have your wits about you, don't go anywhere private with him and don't get drunk. And ask him to let you know what he looks like and where he's waiting, so if you get there and he's a 45 year old man, you can leg it!

brendanuk · 17-01-2010 10:44am

why cant he come to ireland?

christina_x · 17-01-2010 12:13pm

brendanuk wrote: »

why cant he come to ireland?

because she will be in London anyways

OP i say go for it

Does he have webcam? ask him to put it on on msn some night, that will reassure you that he is genuine. When your out shopping just give your mum a quick text just to say that alls going well, your just going to get something to eat in (insert name) and will be home at (insert time) that way youv just let omebody know where you are without getting in trouble with your parents

As an above poster said, dont get drunk with him and dont go to unfamiliar areas

then all youv to worry about is if you'l get on with eachother in person! Good luck

magneticimpulse · 17-01-2010 1:09pm

Id say dont go for it this time! You have only been talking 2 weeks to him. Ive waited 2 years before I met some guys of the internet. The reason I said dont go for it, is although you will be in somewhere like Oxford St. It sounds like you will be alone and therefore he will know this. If anything happens to you (and not necessarily by him, could be any random stranger), it will be a long time before your parents/family/friend would get this information. London is less safe then Dublin purely because there are more people there and chances of something happening to you are increased.

I am all for meeting people from the internet, but I never did so before i was 21. I do it quite alot now for internet dating, but I set myself rules. I think OP you could wait til at least 18 before meeting strangers from the net. Also I think if you were to people from internet you should have some rules too:

Meet in your home town where you are familar with or can quickly arrange an escape if its not working out...ie. a friend rings and you have to go do something else.

This also allows you just to meet the guy for 2 or so hours, after which your family/friends can see you are ok. It also means you are not caught out by spending any longer with him.

Never go to another place like a house with him...always stay in public place with camera's. Dont stay over with him.

Try to get onto his Facebook and see what he is really like...try to make an impression of him (ie that he is not creepy middle aged man).

I have my reservations about this, because there are stories about 14 - 16 yr olds being the victims of middle age men. It is very easy to steal someones identity. You just have to read Sky News to find that this age group is particular a target to these type of men!! I know this guy might be genuine, but you have to be aware and set yourself rules. Do you really have to meet this guy alone? Can you not go with a friend for the 1st time? Your 16, its not really going to be a proper date or relationship due to distance and the fact that I assume you dont have cash which would allow this. Therefore just go with a friend if you insist on meeting him in London. If you cant, dont meet him in London. Let him come to Ireland.

tenchi-fan · 17-01-2010 1:13pm

I recommend meeting him as soon as possible!

Here's why. I chatted to loads of people online. When you meet them they are so much different to their online persona. I'm not saying they lie or have a fake identity. You just end up with one picture of them in your mind & they turn out to be different. It's not always a bad thing but sometimes it is.

One girl I chatted to wrote "lol" at the end of every sentence. So we became good friends. I thought she was fun but when I met her I was at her house once. She said "oh I'm just going to finish up this convo online (to one of her friends)". She had a big sour face on her but was right "haha" and "lol". And it truns out she was moody!!

Oh and don't be pressurised into doing anything. Know in your mind what you're meeting him for and what you expect from each other. You know what I'm talking about! Sports captain.. he might be a bit of a player!

17-01-2010 1:17pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Id say dont go for it this time! You have only been talking 2 weeks to him. Ive waited 2 years before I met some guys of the internet. The reason I said dont go for it, is although you will be in somewhere like Oxford St. It sounds like you will be alone and therefore he will know this. If anything happens to you (and not necessarily by him, could be any random stranger), it will be a long time before your parents/family/friend would get this information. London is less safe then Dublin purely because there are more people there and chances of something happening to you are increased.

She said she goes to London all the time and always goes shopping on her own. She's not going over just to meet this guy, she'll be there anyway. I personally don't see how meeting in a public place is anymore dangerous than doing the same in Dublin. If she didn't meet the guy, she could sit down to have a coffee alone on Oxford Street and some random nutter could start talking to her. Everything in life has a small risk, but when 'Internet' is mentioned, people get images of paedophiles and serial killers. She could have either of those sitting next to her on the Tube, so I don't see the huge difference between that and having arranged to meet someone in a busy place during the day.

magneticimpulse · 17-01-2010 1:42pm

[quote=[Deleted User];64046921]She said she goes to London all the time and always goes shopping on her own. She's not going over just to meet this guy, she'll be there anyway. I personally don't see how meeting in a public place is anymore dangerous than doing the same in Dublin. If she didn't meet the guy, she could sit down to have a coffee alone on Oxford Street and some random nutter could start talking to her. Everything in life has a small risk, but when 'Internet' is mentioned, people get images of paedophiles and serial killers. She could have either of those sitting next to her on the Tube, so I don't see the huge difference between that and having arranged to meet someone in a busy place during the day.[/quote]

I know she said she goes to London to meet family all the time...but like you said its to go and do shopping. Not to meet random strangers!!! Thats a huge difference. I agree any random nutter can talk to her...but at least in Dublin she would most likely know where the police station is etc. Does she know where these things are in London? My auntie was gang raped in London and she was from Dublin...yeah this could happen in Dublin. But alot more bad things have happened to my family members in London which never happened in Dublin. You have to admit, that London is more international then anywhere in Ireland. With lot of different cultures and religions. With lots of people who have just stepped off the plane from a culture where they can do what they want with women!! Thats no way the same as Dublin (thou yes its going more this way). I live in Bordeaux and find it more scary then Dublin and more affraid because there are many of these men who follow women down the street because in their culture they get whatever woman they want. Im not saying this guy could be the problem...theres so many things that could go wrong like any other day. But should something went wrong, this guy would be the last person that she met etc.

Like I said, ive alot of experience with meeting people from the internet...but I think in this case it sounds more high risk! And I do it all the time. I would never meet a stranger in London by myself without a friend. Ive even gone on some dates in Dublin and brought a friend with me for coffee if I had any doubt about the guy.

17-01-2010 2:37pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I know she said she goes to London to meet family all the time...but like you said its to go and do shopping. Not to meet random strangers!!! Thats a huge difference. I agree any random nutter can talk to her...but at least in Dublin she would most likely know where the police station is etc. Does she know where these things are in London? My auntie was gang raped in London and she was from Dublin...yeah this could happen in Dublin. But alot more bad things have happened to my family members in London which never happened in Dublin. You have to admit, that London is more international then anywhere in Ireland. With lot of different cultures and religions. With lots of people who have just stepped off the plane from a culture where they can do what they want with women!! Thats no way the same as Dublin (thou yes its going more this way). I live in Bordeaux and find it more scary then Dublin and more affraid because there are many of these men who follow women down the street because in their culture they get whatever woman they want. Im not saying this guy could be the problem...theres so many things that could go wrong like any other day. But should something went wrong, this guy would be the last person that she met etc.

Like I said, ive alot of experience with meeting people from the internet...but I think in this case it sounds more high risk! And I do it all the time. I would never meet a stranger in London by myself without a friend. Ive even gone on some dates in Dublin and brought a friend with me for coffee if I had any doubt about the guy.

Well, knowing where the police station is isn't much help when something has already happened. I live in London, I have also lived in Dublin and had a lot of bad things happen there. I was spat at, hit in the street, mugged and pickpocketed. Not one of those times was a Guard anywhere near. So based on that, I could say Dublin is way more dangerous than London. Or perhaps I had bad luck. Who knows. What you said about men following you down the street is correct, but that could happen to her anyway. I quite regularly meet strangers for language exchanges in coffee shops, one or one or in groups, yet my biggest problem so far is young men randomly harrassing me in the street on the way to these places, something which happens when I'm on my own.

magneticimpulse · 17-01-2010 3:15pm

[quote=[Deleted User];64047929]Well, knowing where the police station is isn't much help when something has already happened. I live in London, I have also lived in Dublin and had a lot of bad things happen there. I was spat at, hit in the street, mugged and pickpocketed. Not one of those times was a Guard anywhere near. So based on that, I could say Dublin is way more dangerous than London. Or perhaps I had bad luck. Who knows. What you said about men following you down the street is correct, but that could happen to her anyway. I quite regularly meet strangers for language exchanges in coffee shops, one or one or in groups, yet my biggest problem so far is young men randomly harrassing me in the street on the way to these places, something which happens when I'm on my own.[/quote]

Fair enough. But my experience and all my other friends experiences (from all around the world) find that London is not the safest place in the world. And to meet strangers in a city you dont even live in yourself (fair enough travel to, but not live or from) I think thats a huge risk for OP.

At least your alive. My auntie was gang raped, drugged and killed...but hey London is a safe place right!! These things only happen on the news right!!

Dublin141 · 17-01-2010 3:35pm

It's a bit soon and you've only been chatting to him on msn and a chatroom - I would also recommend befriending him on bebo/facebook to see a bit more about him. If you do meet up with him, don't lie about it, let somebody know where you'll be and who you will be with.

And just remember that it is possible for some old creep to have gotten this boy's details from his school site and use it to chat up young girls. And also remember that people are completely different in real life than they are online, especially when you've only been chatting a short time. If you don't feel comfortable with him for whatever reason, leave. He could be lovely but he could also be a complete psycho, you just can't always tell through msn

Whatever you decide to do, do it safely.

17-01-2010 3:50pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Fair enough. But my experience and all my other friends experiences (from all around the world) find that London is not the safest place in the world. And to meet strangers in a city you dont even live in yourself (fair enough travel to, but not live or from) I think thats a huge risk for OP.

At least your alive. My auntie was gang raped, drugged and killed...but hey London is a safe place right!! These things only happen on the news right!!

Do you realise how ridiculous that sounds? I'm sorry about your auntie, but these things happen everywhere. There was a girl dragged off O'Connell Street and gang raped not that long ago. My friend's dad got shot in the head for no reason in west Dublin. My friend recently got her drink spiked in Capitol while she was there with her boyfriend. No city is 'safe'. I see very little difference between meeting a stranger in Starbucks on Grafton Street and in Starbucks on Oxford Street. The person has the same chance of being a lunatic, and the general public is not going to be any more helpful in Dublin than London, judging by the way people stood and watched when I was attacked in the street. Whether or not it's a plain bad idea is another question and I think OP has had a balanced selection of views and good advice here. My personal view would be that meeting such a person is as safe, if not safer, than meeting a random in a bar while drunk, and few people have a problem doing that, but it's for OP to decide.

I would emphasise the not describing herself to give her a chance to check him out first, giving her the option to run if he wasn't what he described, being careful about ordering her own coffee and carrying it to the table as opposed to him fetching it, making sure he leaves first and isn't following her into the Tube or anything, the usual common sense stuff you'd do anywhere.

LegacyUser · 17-01-2010 4:08pm

Hey guys OP here. Thanks for all the replies! It seems the general concensus is that I should go, but definitely keep my wits about/be on the alert for anything not right or peculiar, which is definitely what I would have been planning on anyway! @[Deleted User] and @magneticimpulse, I thank you for your points of view and completely understand where both are coming from, however this isn't a thread to highlight the dangers of Dublin compared to London!! I'm fully aware that the world in general is a dangerous place, and awful things occur each and every day to innocent people. I also hadn't thought of an "escape plan" though. Like I said, I have family in London, but not friends so does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do?! I can't imagine my aunt or uncle being terribly impressed at the thought of being my escape route, let alone being happy with me going! One last thing, would meeting him say on a Sunday be "safer" than a weekday for example as there would most likely be more people out and about or not?! Thanks again

magneticimpulse · 17-01-2010 4:14pm

Yes but you have to take into account that OP is still too young to go to bars and still to young to legally have sex!! If something was to happen to her, where would it lead...to boards and to your comments telling a 16 yr old that its ok to meet strangers in another city she is not from.

I am a very open person about using the internet to meet people. However im 29 and have more experience in this. My choices and opinions are definitely not the same as a 16 year olds! When I was 14/15 i got some pen pals from Buy and Sell. I had 2 in the California State Prison...I was too young and naive at the time to realise these were convicted paedophile. When I was 16/17 I used to go into chat rooms. I was naive and in an all girls school. I wanted to meet men and was curious about sex. Ive not used chat rooms since then because of a very good reason. I found that all men I had met on there, offered me money to make porn movies. At that age and being so naive, it seemed great to earn €150 an hour. But i had no idea what a porn movie even was...but at that age just thought, sure what the hell....Im lucky I never met these men. We are not talking old men, we talking 18 yr olds etc.

I think people here are being too naive about the things which can happen to OP. She is 16 and might not have the knowledge or life experience to deal with such experiences. I use the internet all the time, I meet people from it...but only in organised meetup, dating and social pages. I stay clear of Chat up rooms (where OP met this guy)...as with experience they are not always safe. I think OP is aware there are risks and thats why she posted. She obvisously feels there could be some danger involved and yes I think she is right...it could be safe, but in this case the not safe risk is too high.

A 16 yr old meeting some stranger from chat room in Starbucks alone in any city is dangerous even more so in London.

LegacyUser · 17-01-2010 4:27pm

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I am a very open person about using the internet to meet people. However im 29 and have more experience in this. My choices and opinions are definitely not the same as a 16 year olds! When I was 14/15 i got some pen pals from Buy and Sell. I had 2 in the California State Prison...I was too young and naive at the time to realise these were convicted paedophile. When I was 16/17 I used to go into chat rooms. I was naive and in an all girls school. I wanted to meet men and was curious about sex. Ive not used chat rooms since then because of a very good reason. I found that all men I had met on there, offered me money to make porn movies. At that age and being so naive, it seemed great to earn €150 an hour. But i had no idea what a porn movie even was...but at that age just thought, sure what the hell....Im lucky I never met these men. We are not talking old men, we talking 18 yr olds etc.

I really do appreciate your concerns and understand why you would be so hesitant to suggest me going ahead with this, I'd just like to say however, that while on the chat room, I steered well clear of anyone who's sole desire was to have a sexual conversation! I also was always hesitant when asked A/S/L and often insisted on the other person revealing their details first, simply in an effort to be as safe as possible! Out of the hundreds of people I probably talked to that night as well, I was extremely careful in giving out my details/msn. If I didn't feel comfortable, I simply disconnected from them!

I know that I don't know everything about the world, but am also confident enough in my own common sense to say that I'm not a naive little girl who would even consider talking to someone who would offer me money for a porno! I would never, ever just think "what the hell" to that! Also, regarding your point about the prisoners, the school which he told me he attends, which is also the website where I found his details is an extremely affluent and well-established school. Not that this (or money for that matter) has anything to do with my liking him, it's just that I think I can safely say he isn't a prisoner!

Victor · 17-01-2010 4:42pm

Amibeingcrazy? wrote: »

I know that I don't know everything about the world, but am also confident enough in my own common sense to say that I'm not a naive little girl

The four stages of skill development:
(1) unconscious incompetence, <

you are here
(2) conscious incompetence,
(3) conscious competence, and
(4) unconscious competence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_stages_of_competence

Amibeingcrazy? wrote: »

Also, regarding your point about the prisoners, the school which he told me he attends, which is also the website where I found his details is an extremely affluent and well-established school. Not that this (or money for that matter) has anything to do with my liking him, it's just that I think I can safely say he isn't a prisoner!

Assuming what he says is true.

However, just because someone goes to a "nice" school, doesn't mean they are nice. http://www.google.ie/#hl=en&safe=off&q=annabel%27s+nightclub++Brian+Murphy&meta=&aq=f&oq=annabel%27s+nightclub++Brian+Murphy&fp=2734472aa1fd7245

17-01-2010 4:44pm

Amibeingcrazy? wrote: »

Hey guys OP here. Thanks for all the replies! It seems the general concensus is that I should go, but definitely keep my wits about/be on the alert for anything not right or peculiar, which is definitely what I would have been planning on anyway! @[Deleted User] and @magneticimpulse, I thank you for your points of view and completely understand where both are coming from, however this isn't a thread to highlight the dangers of Dublin compared to London!! I'm fully aware that the world in general is a dangerous place, and awful things occur each and every day to innocent people. I also hadn't thought of an "escape plan" though. Like I said, I have family in London, but not friends so does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do?! I can't imagine my aunt or uncle being terribly impressed at the thought of being my escape route, let alone being happy with me going! One last thing, would meeting him say on a Sunday be "safer" than a weekday for example as there would most likely be more people out and about or not?! Thanks again

If you meet on Oxford Street it's pretty much always busy. I was down there this morning and couldn't move for the crowds, but it's even busier during the week. As for an escape route, couldn't you just text an Irish friend and have him/her call you with an escape route? You could also pretend to receive a text from your family asking you to come home cos one of them is locked out. Or pretend to go to the toilet and leg it. Just keep your wits about you. If anything seems remotely 'off', just walk out. Don't be afraid of appearing rude.

17-01-2010 4:52pm

Victor wrote: »

The four stages of skill development:
(1) unconscious incompetence, <
you are here
(2) conscious incompetence,
(3) conscious competence, and
(4) unconscious competence.

Eh.. that's pretty condescending. OP certainly doesn't seem like a clueless little ditz to me. It seems like she is pretty streetwise and mature and is aware of the risk she is taking and has considered ways it could go wrong, which is why she posted here.

dolliemix · 17-01-2010 4:56pm

Magnetic Impulse no offense but you were extremely naive when you were younger. And I wouldn't say your experiences would be the norm. I think that you are transferring your memory of your experiences as 16 year old onto the OP.

OP you seem very sensible about all of this and I would probably say go for it, but the fact that you know your mum would be uncomfortable about this, tells me you should just leave it. You'll end up lying to your mum probably and it's just not worth that. Keep in contact with the guy though, and you may get to meet him soon anyway. He may come over to Dublin, and you could meet him with friends, or you may go over to London with friends at some stage in the future.

Sorry OP but, something just doesn't feel right about telling a 16 year old to go for it (especially if her parents wouldn't be happy).

LegacyUser · 17-01-2010 4:59pm

[quote=[Deleted User];64049954]Eh.. that's pretty condescending. OP certainly doesn't seem like a clueless little ditz to me. It seems like she is pretty streetwise and mature and is aware of the risk she is taking and has considered ways it could go wrong, which is why she posted here.[/QUOTE]

Thanks, I did consider saying something back to this, however that would be straying off topic for this thread! I see where he could have made that conclusion, especially where he quoted me, but I know in myself that isn't true (yes I know this is highlighting my unconscious incompetance again!) Also I will organise for an Irish friend to be my escape! Here's hoping that after all of these precautions I'm taking, things will run smoothly! Thanks again

leggo · 17-01-2010 5:07pm

dolliemix wrote: »

Sorry OP but, something just doesn't feel right about telling a 16 year old to go for it (especially if her parents wouldn't be happy).

Sums it up right there.

She's 16. Mature for her age or not...she's still a kid asking is it a good idea to meet a guy she's only known two weeks in a foreign country. How could there EVER be a positive answer to that question?

Why does she NEED to meet this guy NOW anyway??! She's got her whole life ahead of her...why does she need to put herself into risky situations in the hope of meeting some randomer?

You're in no rush OP. There are too many question marks over this for it to be a good idea. At the very least, give yourself the advantage of time, get to know him better and then see if you still want to meet up with him the next time you're in London.

17-01-2010 5:12pm

leggo wrote: »

Sums it up right there.

She's 16. Mature for her age or not...she's still a kid asking is it a good idea to meet a guy she's only known two weeks in a foreign country. How could there EVER be a positive answer to that question?

Why does she NEED to meet this guy NOW anyway??! She's got her whole life ahead of her...why does she need to put herself into risky situations in the hope of meeting some randomer?

You're in no rush OP. There are too many question marks over this for it to be a good idea. At the very least, give yourself the advantage of time, get to know him better and then see if you still want to meet up with him the next time you're in London.

I wouldn't say the UK was exactly a foreign country and I wouldn't say the situation was even that risky but the OP indeed seems to be having second thoughts and worrying about her family, and being her, at this stage, I'd probably decide against it, only cos I wouldn't be able to relax with all the worries and what ifs in my head. I was going to offer to meet up with OP and perhaps go along with her to make sure the guy was who he said he was but then I realised how silly that was - I'm a stranger from the Internet as well

dolliemix · 17-01-2010 5:19pm

[quote=[Deleted User];64050226]I wouldn't say the UK was exactly a foreign country and I wouldn't say the situation was even that risky but the OP indeed seems to be having second thoughts and worrying about her family, and being her, at this stage, I'd probably decide against it, only cos I wouldn't be able to relax with all the worries and what ifs in my head. I was going to offer to meet up with OP and perhaps go along with her to make sure the guy was who he said he was but then I realised how silly that was - I'm a stranger from the Internet as well

[/QUOTE]

Ha! Hilarious! She can tell her Mum that another stranger from the internet is coming to make sure everything is alright!

:D:D

Nice offer though Rex Repulsive Cheek

Motley Crue · 17-01-2010 5:41pm

OP it wouldn't be a mad idea completely to meet him, but how about some safe rules of play

For example, how about meeting in a cafe in a department store for the first 15 minutes and having something to eat. You meet in a public area, with lots of people around, and if the worst happens you have store security to help you and lots of CCTV....first impressions not meeting your standards then you can either tell him how you feel straight away or just leave without him bothering you in the worst case

Likewise, go somewhere public to chat, like a music store in the centre of London, maybe invite a friend (or cousin, you said you had family in London?) to the meeting and just say you're meeting a friend. Safety in numbers. If everything goes alright and if you want privacy then arrange to hangout later

Motley Crue · 17-01-2010 5:43pm

just to point out, i met a girl online and we dated for over 5 years, she was pretty nice and when we parted it was actually more for geographical reasons then anything else...so sometimes you can meet genuine people on the Internet....not always, but there is some good people

dolliemix · 17-01-2010 5:52pm

Motley Crue wrote: »

just to point out, i met a girl online and we dated for over 5 years, she was pretty nice and when we parted it was actually more for geographical reasons then anything else...so sometimes you can meet genuine people on the Internet....not always, but there is some good people

I don't think anybody is saying it's wrong to meet people from the internet but the OP is 16, she's meeting somebody in another city, and the people she is traveling with will not be aware that she is meeting this person. But most of all she is 16.

magneticimpulse · 17-01-2010 6:10pm

dolliemix wrote: »

I don't think anybody is saying it's wrong to meet people from the internet but the OP is 16, she's meeting somebody in another city, and the people she is traveling with will not be aware that she is meeting this person. But most of all she is 16.

Spot on, this is the point im trying to make. As for my previous experience, I was a teenager in the 90s. Not so long ago and ive no problem to admit i was somewhat naive. But at same time i was just as confident and had lots of knowledge as OP. I dont think anybody can come on here and say they have not changed from a 16 year old to 30 year old. It is not putting OP down, but its a simple fact of life that when you are a teenager you are somewhat a rebel, carefree and think you can do whatever you want. Im sure OP has lots of knowledge, confidence etc. Ive never said she didnt. But just chatting to someone 2 weeks ago on MSN and then thinking about going to another country to meet them (which you are going to anyway) and thinking they are ok, because they go to some sort of Eton school sounds a bit much to me. You putting yourself at risks you dont need. Maybe he could be the love of your life? Can you not just wait, or go with a friend? Its all we ask, because we are not your mother, but nobody wants anybody to get hurt.

LegacyUser · 17-01-2010 6:13pm

your thread title is - 'people from the internet' and you're wondering is the guy weird etc. But aren't you on boards, other chat rooms etc - doesn't that put you in the category 'people from the internet'??? lol. Not everyone is strange on the net - guaranteed there are lots of weirdos on it but aren't they also in the real world too. Why dont you bring a friend with you just to be safe as you have never met him before? Your just as likely to meet strange people in clubs/pubs - even your school!!! Be safe and you'll be fine

taram · 17-01-2010 8:33pm

Motley Crue wrote: »

For example, how about meeting in a cafe in a department store for the first 15 minutes and having something to eat. You meet in a public area, with lots of people around, and if the worst happens you have store security to help you and lots of CCTV....first impressions not meeting your standards then you can either tell him how you feel straight away or just leave without him bothering you in the worst case

+1 to this. I'd be wary meeting on the street, in the worst case scenario you don't know where to go to find safety, and if he was say a 50 year old mad mad dragging you down the street, people might not hear you asking for help in the street. Totally worst case scenario though!!

I think once you go and know you owe him nothing and at any stage can walk away, then you could meet him. Text your mum when you meet him like 'lol, am in harrods, omg the price of chanel! i'll be back at 6, starving!' so they know where you are at what time and when to expect you. Alternatively, take a friend at home into your confidence, give them your parents numbers, and tell them to expect you to ring at 6 and to tell them a particular phrase for security. All bases covered!

Saying this, have met 20+ people from the internet, all were nice, some of whom I'd consider v.good friends, but there's always a bad apple out there.

People from the internet?

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