Do parents who treat their kids for "stupid" reasons encourage the following?

Bonito

I'll give you all an example. Recently my brother was in hospital getting his appendix out, usual mumbo routine op stuff that the docs feed ya.

Anyways. While he was in the hospital my mam was all like "oh since you were in hospital we'll get you a game for the PS3 and give you some money"

Now, IMHO I think is utterly stupid and I told my mother this.

If you're basically going to "reward" a child for being ill then they're going to make sure they're ill more often!

So do these "stupid" and "pointless" treats encourage any or all of these.
1. Hypochondriasis
2. Exagerating little grazes/colds
3. Put them in to a mind of "hey mam and dad are nice to me when I'm sick so I think I'll be sick today, better switch the tears on".
4. Basically milking the cream out of even the tiniest situation!

I know when someone is lying and I have dealt with younger siblings doing the sicky act many a time and I always blow their little charade open and they're sent off to school. No messing with me. They may be able to pull the wool over mam and dad's eyes but not mine. On the days were they play a really good one and have the screams and tears and the whole lot I do be cruel about it.

If they suddenly get "better" later in the day they still stay in bed. No TV. No going out to friends. No nothing. Lights off and stay in bed to rest and get "better". If their tummy is sick they stay in bed AND starve. Make them think twice about playing sick the next time!

Now, maybe I'm just being a cold hearted cúnt (pardon my french) but so far I've been right every single time they've pulled sickies. Sometimes even getting a confession and an apology so I'll let them out for 30 mins or let them have some of my awesome cooking!

But at times when they are sick I'm nice to them. I do be vigilante and interrogative at first but the minute I see they're actually sick I leave them be.

So back to the issue. Do you think parents (like mine unfortunately). Are sort of (not meaning to) encourage their kids to play sick by rewarding and treating them to nice things that they didn't really earn? And when they are sick to absolutely milk it?

MaybeLogic

Behaviour like your mothers only encourages jealousy in older siblings.

Bajingo

So your parents make them lie about being sick so they can get stuff..

and you make them lie about feeling alright even if they feel sick..you're cruel..

He got his appendix out they were only trying to cheer him up..as long as they're not going him wads of cash everytime he bumps his head I dont see the problem..

Bonito

MaybeLogic wrote: »

Behaviour like your mothers only encourages jealousy in older siblings.

Well I'm oldest sibling at home and if I wanted a PS3 or that I have my own money to buy one

Captain_Generic

Pick up a bit of the ol' AIDS and you'll have a nice flat screen telly to play your PS3 on

Bonito

Bajingo wrote: »

So your parents make them lie about being sick so they can get stuff..

and you make them lie about feeling alright even if they feel sick..you're cruel..

He got his appendix out they were only trying to cheer him up..as long as they're not going him wads of cash everytime he bumps his head I dont see the problem..

Not make them. I'm asking does the way the way they treat them when they're sick encourage them to be sick more often. Like special treatment, but you only get it when you're ill. So if you want more special treatment you either have to make yourself sick or pretend. Pointless IMO. I never pulled sickies cause I loved school :rolleyes:

Bajingo

Bonito wrote: »

Not make them. I'm asking does the way the way they treat them when they're sick encourage them to be sick more often. Like special treatment, but you only get it when you're ill. So if you want more special treatment you either have to make yourself sick or pretend. Pointless IMO. I never pulled sickies cause I loved school :rolleyes:

I meant your parents behaviour inadvertently 'makes' them want to pretend to be sick..

The only time I pulled a sicky was when I was 12..i convinced myself I was dying(seriously I was terrified) and didnt go in for 2 weeks..apart from that I loved school..

But ye to be fair your brother was actually sick..do you not think he deserved a present?

Bonito

Captain_Generic wrote: »

Pick up a bit of the ol' AIDS and you'll have a nice flat screen telly to play your PS3 on

Daddy already got himself a 47" full HI-Def for his little 360 and got my bro a 32" HD ready for his PS3. Should be other way around but meh it was his money he was obviously going to take the big one.

And yes, my dad has a 360 and I don't lol

Bonito

Bajingo wrote: »

I meant your parents behaviour inadvertently 'makes' them want to pretend to be sick..

The only time I pulled a sicky was when I was 12..i convinced myself I was dying(seriously I was terrified) and didnt go in for 2 weeks..apart from that I loved school..

But ye to be fair your brother was actually sick..do you not think he deserved a present?

Yeah but not a game and money. They're materialistic. They should have sat him up in bed and fussed over him and showed love. You can't put love in to some video game or money.

Coriolanus

Bonito wrote: »

Yeah but not a game and money. They're materialistic. They should have sat him up in bed and fussed over him and showed love. You can't put love in to some video game or money.

Maybe he's materialistic too and they know he'd appreciate the game and wad of cash for hookers and blow a bit more than he'd appreciate a hug and a cup of tea?

I know I bloody would!

Bonito

Nevore wrote: »

Maybe he's materialistic too and they know he'd appreciate the game and wad of cash for hookers and blow a bit more than he'd appreciate a hug and a cup of tea?

I know I bloody would!

Ok Ok point taken. You literally summed him up to a T there

He'd rather a game and hookers than motherly love :rolleyes:

gerry28

Bonito wrote: »

I know when someone is lying and I have dealt with younger siblings doing the sicky act many a time and I always blow their little charade open and they're sent off to school. No messing with me. They may be able to pull the wool over mam and dad's eyes but not mine.

Yoir a cruel cruel man bonito, they have the hard work done by convincing your parents they are sick and a day of relaxation lies ahead. Then you ruin it for them.

Bonito

gerry28 wrote: »

Yoir a cruel cruel man bonito, they have the hard work done by convincing your parents they are sick and a day of relaxation lies ahead. Then you ruin it for them.

Yeh but the satisfaction of having the whole house to myself and peace and quiet stubs out the "awww you cruel fcuk you should go hit your head a few times" voice inside my head

fizzynicenice

Evar had your appendix taken out. I have and it can be quite painful for many days. Maybe they just wanted to spoil him a little out of sympathy. Frankly you sound a bit jealous.

jd007

Bonito wrote: »

If they suddenly get "better" later in the day they still stay in bed. No TV. No going out to friends. No nothing. Lights off and stay in bed to rest and get "better". If their tummy is sick they stay in bed AND starve. Make them think twice about playing sick the next time!

You make it sound like staying in bed all day is a bad thing!

Bonito

fizzynicenice wrote: »

Evar had your appendix taken out. I have and it can be quite painful for many days. Maybe they just wanted to spoil him a little out of sympathy. Frankly you sound a bit jealous.

Sorry but I stayed in the hospital with him every night so I seen what condition he was in. Besides I only used that as an example. The issue is pointlessly giving children gifts when they haven't earned them. As I said I have no interest in PS3's etc so no I'm not jealous

Bonito

jd007 wrote: »

You make it sound like staying in bed all day is a bad thing!

For them it is. They crack up out of sheer boredom I should be paid to do this :P

The Big Red Button

Wow, you must be the least cool older sibling ever!

Bonito

chatterpillar wrote: »

Wow, you must be the least cool older sibling ever!

You'd better believe it

No i'm pretty cool so long as they deserve it

seclachi

Bonito wrote: »

Sorry but I stayed in the hospital with him every night so I seen what condition he was in. Besides I only used that as an example. The issue is pointlessly giving children gifts when they haven't earned them. As I said I have no interest in PS3's etc so no I'm not jealous

In fairness theres a difference between pulling a sickie and going to hospital. If your a kid your going to be terrified at the prospect of surgery. Giving a kid some pressies will cheer them up and even take there mind off it,

Bonito

seclachi wrote: »

In fairness theres a difference between pulling a sickie and going to hospital. If your a kid your going to be terrified at the prospect of surgery. Giving a kid some pressies will cheer them up and even take there mind off it,

He's not a baby he's near 17 :rolleyes:

Him scared? I was near crying point

Yano the feeling when there's that one time you can't take the place of your little bro and take the bruises rather than seeing him in pain? Not a good feeling at all and you have to hold it all back for him. Then the nurses don't make it better by constantly going "awwww are you ok, do you need a hug, we're all here to talk to if you want to"

livingtargets

Bonito wrote: »

...Then the nurses don't make it better by constantly going "awwww are you ok, do you need a hug, we're all here to talk to if you want to"

BASTARDS!

stovelid

MaybeLogic wrote: »

Behaviour like your mothers only encourages jealousy in older siblings.

but provides ample justification for intra-sibling torture so it balances out.

Jesus Wept

Yes OP, I know the type of thing you are talking about.

I have 3 siblings who are all smokers since their mid teens.
I remember many times my parents bribing them to try to quit smoking.

One of my older brothers was given a weekend away with his then girlfriend - he was only 17 or so at the time.

Let's just say he quit a few times, they all did, and they all still smoke to this day.
Good job parents.

Myself on the other hand - I've never smoked a cigarette in my life.
Now - I actually don't expect any reward or remuneration because of this, but witnessing my siblings be rewarded for doing so by an idiotic piece of parenting (and I pointed it out to them, each time) was pretty frustrating.

seithon

On the one hand you do seem like a bit of an ol bastard but thats fine really kids do need some of that..

However one point i'd like to make :P
After my last surgery a few years ago, the best pain killer I had was being caught up in and distracted by a video game.. so from that perspective its not such a bad idea if it helps distract him from the pain of stitches >.<

Black Magic

Your all overreacting. It is to try and make the child happy, a distraction that they are ill. I doubt they will fake illness and end up in hospital every month or so.

Bajingo

The-Rigger wrote: »

Yes OP, I know the type of thing you are talking about.

I have 3 siblings who are all smokers since their mid teens.
I remember many times my parents bribing them to try to quit smoking.

One of my older brothers was given a weekend away with his then girlfriend - he was only 17 or so at the time.

Let's just say he quit a few times, they all did, and they all still smoke to this day.
Good job parents.

Myself on the other hand - I've never smoked a cigarette in my life.
Now - I actually don't expect any reward or remuneration because of this, but witnessing my siblings be rewarded for doing so by an idiotic piece of parenting (and I pointed it out to them, each time) was pretty frustrating.

Thats a bit different..no offence but that is the stupidest thing your parents could have done to make them stop smoking..and they were clearly milking the gifts..

a 17 year old getting a weekend away with his girlfriend..maybe they just wanted grandkids:p

..my parents are worse though for this type of thing...its head wrecking..:mad:

chocgirl

Yeah rewarding kids for stupid things is ridiculous as far as I'm concerned. Treating a child after having surgery though is pretty normal I'd think.

ScumLord

Bonito wrote: »

Now, maybe I'm just being a cold hearted cúnt (pardon my french)

As a self appointed honorary French man I take offence at that remark.

seclachi

The-Rigger wrote: »

Yes OP, I know the type of thing you are talking about.

I have 3 siblings who are all smokers since their mid teens.
I remember many times my parents bribing them to try to quit smoking.

One of my older brothers was given a weekend away with his then girlfriend - he was only 17 or so at the time.

Let's just say he quit a few times, they all did, and they all still smoke to this day.
Good job parents.

Myself on the other hand - I've never smoked a cigarette in my life.
Now - I actually don't expect any reward or remuneration because of this, but witnessing my siblings be rewarded for doing so by an idiotic piece of parenting (and I pointed it out to them, each time) was pretty frustrating.

Id have stopped giving them allowance until they quit (or left I guess). A 16-17 year old is going to be smoking on there parents money.

He's not a baby he's near 17

Him scared? I was near crying point

Yano the feeling when there's that one time you can't take the place of your little bro and take the bruises rather than seeing him in pain? Not a good feeling at all and you have to hold it all back for him. Then the nurses don't make it better by constantly going "awwww are you ok, do you need a hug, we're all here to talk to if you want to"

I was a big kid when I was 17, so I still think he would have been scared. People need a bit of coddling when there sick, although I`ll agree too much just makes you feel like your terminally sick.

Honestly if I were your parents Id think your a bit of git for making a fuss over giving him a pressie, everybody gets grapes / choclates / flowers in hospital, how is a PS3 game much different ? More over, he`s 17 so I dont think it will encourage hypochondria at that stage, he`ll be out in the big bad world soon enough to learn.

Bonito

The-Rigger wrote: »

Yes OP, I know the type of thing you are talking about.

I have 3 siblings who are all smokers since their mid teens.
I remember many times my parents bribing them to try to quit smoking.

One of my older brothers was given a weekend away with his then girlfriend - he was only 17 or so at the time.

Let's just say he quit a few times, they all did, and they all still smoke to this day.
Good job parents.

Myself on the other hand - I've never smoked a cigarette in my life.
Now - I actually don't expect any reward or remuneration because of this, but witnessing my siblings be rewarded for doing so by an idiotic piece of parenting (and I pointed it out to them, each time) was pretty frustrating.

That's the nail on the head right there Exactly what I've been trying to get at.

Bonito

ScumLord wrote: »

As a self appointed honorary French man I take offence at that remark.

Pardonnez-moi mon ami

Bonito

seclachi wrote: »

Id have stopped giving them allowance until they quit (or left I guess). A 16-17 year old is going to be smoking on there parents money.



I was a big kid when I was 17, so I still think he would have been scared. People need a bit of coddling when there sick, although I`ll agree too much just makes you feel like your terminally sick.

Honestly if I were your parents Id think your a bit of git for making a fuss over giving him a pressie, everybody gets grapes / choclates / flowers in hospital, how is a PS3 game much different ? More over, he`s 17 so I dont think it will encourage hypochondria at that stage, he`ll be out in the big bad world soon enough to learn.

I'm not focusing on the hospital I haven't got my point across properly

The-Rigger and Bajingo have it spot on though so at least someone is getting me

Now maybe we can get the debate going properly :rolleyes:

I agree with not reawarding your kid for "stoopid" things. Or giving them treats to shut them up - now that gets on my wick.

But jesus christ when's a better time to give a kid a treat than when they've just had an operation?

Snowie

Deleted User wrote: »

I agree with not reawarding your kid for "stoopid" things. Or giving them treats to shut them up - now that gets on my wick.

i agree and i dont even have sprogs thats just well saying ok if you kick up a fuss youel get something nice no wonder teans are so misbeheaved these days they get rewarded as youngster for being bad baffels me....

Bonito

Deleted User wrote: »

But jesus christ when's a better time to give a kid a treat than when they've just had an operation?

We've dropped the bit about the reward from the operation :rolleyes: look at the posts above

Ickle Magoo

Do you think your parents were rewarding your brother for having or nearly having a ruptured appendix? It's not a routine operation & it's not something he could have faked in order to get a hospital stay. It would be painful and fairly unpleasant to stay in hospital, why not give him something to cheer him up a bit and make him feel better?

I agree with not rewarding kids over silly stuff or made up illness but I don't think rupturing appendix really falls into that category.

Bonito

Bonito wrote: »

We've dropped the bit about the reward from the operation :rolleyes: look at the posts above

Whats with the :rolleyes:

I've read the whole thread. Just because you've backtracked doesn't mean I can't question the stupidness of your OP.

Bonito

Deleted User wrote: »

Whats with the :rolleyes:

I've read the whole thread. Just because you've backtracked doesn't mean I can't question the stupidness of your OP.

Ok :pac:

Milky Moo

I think giving your child a present or nice things when they are sick is acceptable.
It is a way to make the parents feel abit better, you can't magically make them feel better but you might brighten up their day alittle. It is natural,it is nuturing behaviour.

Bonito

Milky Moo wrote: »

I think giving your child a present or nice things when they are sick is acceptable.
It is a way to make the parents feel abit better, you can't magically make them feel better but you might brighten up their day alittle. It is natural,it is nuturing behaviour.

I prefer chicken soup and mammys' hugs

Ickle Magoo

Is it not possible to do both? Are your parents giving gifts in lieu of affection or as well as? :P

Larianne

I'm sure he'll let you play the game once he's finshed it.

Just ask nicely.

Bonito

No it's one or the other in my house

He hates getting hugs off mammy and swears like a trooper at her but he's more than happy taking a few bob or a game off her when it comes to it - hence he doesn't deserve it when he gets gifts the little fecker. Needless to say when I hear him abusin the mother he gets a few shlaps

ScumLord

Bonito wrote: »

Pardonnez-moi mon ami

It's too late, I'm in floods of tears. Although that might have something to do with all the onions and garlic I've attached to my person.

Bonito

Larianne wrote: »

I'm sure he'll let you play the game once he's finshed it.

Just ask nicely.

I'll just wait 'til he goes to bed then play it

Bonito

ScumLord wrote: »

It's too late, I'm in floods of tears. Although that might have something to do with all the onions and garlic I've attached to my person.

I'd say it's the garlic and onion! Wouldn't be my fault at all

ScumLord

Bonito wrote: »

I'd say it's the garlic and onion! Wouldn't be my fault at all

As a self appointed honorary French man I must avoid conflict and blame someone, anyone else for my own shortcomings.

Bonito

ScumLord wrote: »

As a self appointed honorary French man I must avoid conflict and blame someone, anyone else for my own shortcomings.

Whoever grew the garlic and onions? That's who I'd blame :pac: