No Social Life At 18

bella2010

okay well i turned 18 about 8 months ago and shockingly haven't gone out clubbing yet. People always ask me to go out on a night out or whatever but i always make an excuse.
sometimes i even suggest to my friends to go out but when the time comes i make any excuse.just at Christmas, my work mates were going on their Christmas night out but i pretended to be sick .

i don't know why i don't because it looks like a good laugh and i have people i could go with its not like i have no friends. my friends go out every weekend. i cant because i work at night on the weekends but i do get nights off but i sill won't go i usually go to the movies with my bf or stay at home with my bf and watch a dvd. i don't think ill ever wanna go out because its been 8 months since i turned 18.. i went to my grad party and gaf parties when i was 16/17 and had a brilliant time but i think since i have been going out with my bf, the excitement of me wanting to turn 18 and going out all the time just disappeared.


my bf doesn't go out cause its not his sort of scene but my bf said he doesn't care if i go out
i don't know if its my insecurity or whatever.
i just want to be a normal 18 year old, why am i so afraid to go out clubbing ??

anyone ever have the same problem.. ??

cruizer101

I can kind of understand not wanting to go clubbing but do you not go out to the pub at all. In fairness a lot of people just go to clubs to hook up and since you already have a bf might not be a huge appeal there anyway.

I'm not trying to say you have to go to the pub, but its good fun and good place to socialise with your friends. I kind of got the impression from your post you spend most of your free evenings at home with bf, I wouldn't say this is the best of things to be doing either. Even if not going to pub should try do some sort of activity with bf or with friends, it is just kinda sad that in Ireland that generally means going to pub.

LegacyUser

OP - do you actually WANT to go out? I mean, if you don't want to, but just feel you should, then don't bother.

However, if you do want to but something is stopping you, you need to figure out what it is that's worrying you.

I was slow to start going out when I was younger. I mean, I was going clubbing regularly before I was 18, but compared to my friends I took my time. I was hesitant about it simply because it was a new environment, and I was very self-conscious.

What is it you're worried about? I used to avoid nights out by saying I had other plans, or cancel at the last minute with a mysterious illness. But once I started going out, I loved it. To be honest, given that you have a boyfriend, it should take alot of pressure off the situation for you! You're just going out with your girls, have a bit of a dance and a few drinks (if that's your thing).

You might as well try it out a few times, IF you want to. If you head out and you're not enjoying it, you can always hop in a taxi home - it's no big deal.

bella2010

yeah i understand but i work as a bar maid so i dont really like going to pubs.. hate them tbh because of my job ha.. i dont know what else i coulld do instead though

tenchi-fan

You should spend the day preparing to go out. Buy some new clothes, eat early, have a shower after work/college, do your hair, nails and makeup, put some music on, have a few west coast coolers and make plenty of phone-calls to your friends while you're getting ready... you could even have a friend round to help you. that way you'll be rearing to go out

Stay away from your pc and tv because they'll just suck the energy out of you.

Faithless

If your boyfriend doesn't mind you going out then he's a good guy. It's a clear sign he trusts you and you need to respect him while you're out with friends in return.

However, back to the question. It's important for a young person your age to experience these things. It's a part of growing up and at 18, you have not even begun to live your life and discover the world. Meeting new people with different backgrounds, cultures and opinions about certain topics is a great way to find out about yourself and who you are. If you lock yourself up and make excuses you'll lose a lot more than your youth, you may lose the opportunity to make new friends.

magneticimpulse

whats your question OP? You dont want to go out and therefore your happy to stay at home with your boyfriend. Most people go out to find somebody because they are single. Not all people are single of course. But if the 2 of you are happy, whats the problem? You will have plenty of time in the future to head out clubbing should you become single again. So just enjoy having a boyfriend and watching DVDs.

LegacyUser

i was slow to start going out too. And to be honest I didnt really start hitting the clubs and stuff until I was about 21. I was shy and awkward and hated going out with a big group of people. But i got there in the end.

I don't think you should feel pressure to go out though if you just don't want to. If its not your thing it's not your thing. If you are happy staying in with the bf do that then. Normality is relative-do whatever is normal for you.

Don't lie about it. If people ask just tell them that you didn't go out or don't go out much. If your busy pretending to be someone else who is going to be you? And how will you ever meet any other people similar to yourself? Good luck.

dylano_k

Most people in relationships stay in on weekends, one of my mates social life has dropped dramatically since he signed up to the ball and chain. But when he does go out on occasion with us he's as happy as a blind puff in a sausage factory. Its something that you dont wanna be looking back on in a few years regretting not jumping into the social. 18-21 is the years your allowed get far too drunk and make some bad decisions without feeling bad about it the next day. Im sure all your friends have great stories every monday about the drunken weekend and cant imagine a summary of Nottin Hill would sound very exciting to listen to.