A few things i just need to get out.

LegacyUser

Ok,sorry but this is another ex story,and apologies for the length of it.Im not really asking for advice here,its just more to vent my anger,and tell some truths ive kept quiet.

We broke up a few years ago,we were living together when things started to sour (on her side,i thought i was quite happy back then).Started off with her wanting to go traveling for a month,up to that point we shared the rent,however i told her id pay all of it so that she could afford to go abroad (i had 2 jobs to do this).When she returned our relationship was very good for about 3 weeks,then everything changed.She would come home and instantly have a drink,something she never did before.Eventually this ended up with me coming home,and finding she wasnt there.She'd randomly come home and just tell me she was out with friends,no texts,no calls,actually she wouldnt even answer my calls in this time.Have to say this drove me crazy,to a point of extreme depression and anxiety.Looking back all evidence points to her cheating,but i dont really care about that at this stage.This went on for nearly 2 months,in which time id done alot for her,threw her a bday party,kept on paying 'our' rent, to which id get lots of promises to 'make it up to me'.Obvoiusly she never even tried.At christmas i spent about €250 on her,with gifts i thought was quite thoughtful,had been planning them for a month.Her present to me was a gift voucher she had recieved for her bday but didnt want.Talk about making someone feel worthless.

Then stephens day came,so i rang her to see what time we'd meet,to which she told me she was on a bus to meet a 'friend' who she had promised to go out with.This just floored me,if i hadnt rang she would never have told me.Then New years eve she went to our local and was caught by a friend kissing another guy ( i didnt find this out till after we broke up).

Anyway,we broke up about a week later,she finally had the decency to try and tell me,even though she didnt say much,i did most of the talking for her(again,i made it far to easy for her).Even though at the time i didnt want to loose her,i didnt fight it and knew it was in my best interest to get away from her.So she moved out,just brought the few things she needed and left everything else there for me,with the 'promise' to come back and help clean up when i was moving out.

We'd meet up now and then for a coffee which was fine and a few times when she needed things to be done she'd get in contact and as per usual id oblige,stupid but i knew she needed some help on things,so i dont regret that.Anyway,i eventually decided to move out,so i rang her and told her the news,she said she'd do her best to come over and help,but was quite busy with work,and if she couldnt come she'd let me know.So i didnt hear from her so thought she was coming,i decided to make dinner just to thank her for helping etc(again i can see how silly this is,haha).Anyway,that evening came and she never showed up,i rang her a few times but no reply.Eventually at about 10pm she rang,she was drunk,was still out with her friends having a 'fantastic time'.(talk about being busy)I have to say i was so so angry with her,she couldnt spare one evening to help.Anyway,needless to say its obvious to me how selfish she actually is

We met up a few times after,and i just could never tell her how angry i was,looking back i know i should have told her.Again,we seemed to mostly meet when she needed advice or things like that..ie. advice on how to break up with a guy she was seeing...talk about insulting.Anyway,in the past 14 months we have had no proper contact,just bumped into each other once or twice,but she never had anything to say,she always seemed to be in a rush.The good thing about these random meets is that after them id have to ask myself what i ever saw in her which is a relief.Honestly took about a year for me to start feeling comfortable without her.

Anyway,fast forward to now,and my life is fantastic,feel ive accomplished so much in the past year,and also finally feel very comfortable with myself which is a first(think it was my insecurities that meant i needed my ex in my life,hense the reason i let her treat me like that). also ive brilliant friends,and a stunning girlfriend who means the world to me,i feel ive grown up alot.All in all life is pretty good.Only thing is that at times i still get angry at how my ex treated me,and probably angrier at how i let her do so. At times i wish i could tell her,but in all honesty i know there is no point.She's not part of my life,im not part of hers,and after keeping quiet for so long its pointless to bring it back up.I guess in a way,writing this is my closure.

Thanks for reading

Barracudaincork

need to rant wrote: »

.She's not part of my life,im not part of hers.

and that OP is her punishment for how she treated you right there, and dont forget that!!! Put her into the "stuff you lady" pile!

CPT. SURF

I'll post in your thread if you post in mine buddy

Nah, congratulations man. Sounds like you handled the whole situation with a lot of class. There were some real tough times there by that description. G'luck

SarahSassy

Your closure is having a good life now, plenty of self confidence and a lovely new gf....

Dont give her a second thought. We have all put up with rubbish adn that how you learn not to..

LegacyUser

cheers guys,i feel alot better for having just posted,kinda feels like ive let it out. Im not a fan of hurting people,even if they've hurt me,usually just leads to more destruction.Maybe if id told her at the start it wouldnt have taken me so long to get over it,but again thats a pointless thought.Im happy now,and im glad i got this out

Wagon

Good to read that post actually. I can understand the anger towards her (i hold an ex in the same regard). pissed off and angry because she hurt you and looking back on it you see it as wasted time. It wasn't really though because you won't make the same mistake of wasting any more time on some geebag like that.

you're well over her best thing to do is just get rid of any contact lines with her without telling her and ignore her on the street. dont give her a second thought and let the aul bítch work it out for herself

Drummerboy2

My blood was boiling reading your post but thankfully it had a great ending. Well done. You certainly deserve your happiness.

Weirdfish

Hi Op

Well done you for sorting your life out and getting rid of that muppet! Seriously we have all been in this situation and allowed ourselves to be treated like pooh! Some people never learn the lessons that you seem to have though and for that really u should be grateful. You now know what you will never put up with again! If that makes sense. Take the lesson and turn your anger into gratitude then forget her! You do not need her in ur life in any form.