1 that got away... is back

CPT. SURF

I'm looking for some insight into a situation that I've recently found myself in. No need for an intro I'll just put the facts out there first so people can offer advice (hopefully) from an informed perspective. Here goes:

Out on New Years eve I met an old flame from 2 years ago. Here's the back story real quick: We went out a couple times and she stayed the night once, kissing but no sex. After only a couple weeks I found her to be flakey so I said I wasn't gonna bother anymore, she then said she was never interested anyway. Couple unsavory texts between us and the result was a complete break in all contact and a sour taste in my mouth. Looking back on it I have always felt embarrassed about the way I acted and felt I was quite immature. I liked her and I guess just got annoyed when it wasn't working out, probably put too much stock in it. But I learnt from it, moved on, and have since had an adult relationship in which I acted liked a gentleman throughout.

So Im walking up to a bar on New Years with some mates and I see her outside the place talking on her phone. I look away in the hope that she won't see me but I know she has spotted me. Walk in the bar, grabbing a beer and she comes over to me. I immediately tell a good joke I keep up my sleeve for emergencies and the ice is broken. We get chatting and its going well; she says that she is embarrassed about the way she acted and that she was in a bad place at the time (I ought to note that when I met her two years ago it was 6 months after her mother's death, car crash). I say fair play to her coming over as I would not have done the same because of my previous muppetry. We chat for 15 and I start to feel the chemistry sparking, though my mates want to leave cause we were on a pub crawl. I say adios and leave, I don't have any of her contact info and I don't ask for any.

15 mins later I get a text saying it was great to see you, this is my new number, happy new years etc. I respond with the same sentiments (don't know how/why she had my number). Finish off the night drinking with my mates. Next morning she texts again and we spend New Years Day texting back and forth. Just general craic about music, movies, jokes, banter, etc. She sends the last text at midnight and I'm already passed out. I then leave it a week and text her, she responds and we get the banter going again. She asks if I want to meet up for a beer and I say yes. So if all goes according to plan we are meeting up for a beer tomorrow night.

So I'm going into tomorrow night and I don't know what is gonna happen. Im 27 and she is 23. I find this girl so attractive. I can't help but think this meet-up has some romantic potential. I'm not going to build up any expectations in my head so that I'm not disappointed, but at the same time I am going to give this my best shot. I'm not leaving anything out on the pitch and I'm going to give it a right old lash Jack . Basically Im very excited but a little nervous/guarded (feelings which I plan to leave at the door of the bar in which we are going to meet). I just want to give it socks and hope for the best.

Does anyone have a read on this? What should I do?

LegacyUser

Sounds like a fresh start for you both,i know you have a history,but it was brief,and after two years shouldnt have too much of an impact now. You like her,she obviously likes you,so meet,chat and see what happens.Try not to get too bogged down on the 'what ifs' etc,just go with the flow sort to speak.From the sounds of it there is no problem finding things to talk about.It should soon become clear what to do after a little while.Sounds quite exciting actually.

Best of luck with it

Wagon

Just go and see how things pan out. Be a gent. Not much more you can do really.

Katgurl

i can't see what the problem is if you like her? she very clearly likes you, she came to speak to you, texted you, kept up the communication and then asked you out. I'm a girl and no way would I do that much running, i'd just presume you weren't interested (maybe lesson for me) and forget about it.

go on the date, make an effort, forget about the past and afterwards if you want to see her again then you initiate it with a phonecall asking her out.

sajama

Katgurl wrote: »

i can't see what the problem is if you like her? she very clearly likes you, she came to speak to you, texted you, kept up the communication and then asked you out. I'm a girl and no way would I do that much running, i'd just presume you weren't interested (maybe lesson for me) and forget about it.

go on the date, make an effort, forget about the past and afterwards if you want to see her again then you initiate it with a phonecall asking her out.

+1 - I don't know too many girls who would ask a guy out - think we could all maybe take a lesson from her!

Best of luck OP - although it doesn't look like you'll need it Have fun!

LD 50

Just be good to her. It sounds like you got a fresh start, something most don't. Don't bring up the past, and if she does just say "water under the bridge" or something like that.

but if her old habits do start coming out again, cut her out, quick and painless for both of you.