Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Boyfriends changed his mind

  • 13-01-2010 1:42pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So Im with my boyfriend for just over a year now, he's the one, I couldnt imagine myself with anyone else and he feels the same about me. Were both mid 20's and have talked and planned to start saving to buy a house together, then get married and have children (not right away but in the future)
    So he's always seemed keen, wants to buy a house with me, get married, have kids, that was the plan!

    Then last night we were talking again and he starts saying that he doesnt want children, doesnt think he'l ever want them!! I just didnt know what to say because he's previously said that he did want them, we'd even gone as far as planning on having two, thats how much we've talked about this!

    He has been very stressed about money recently, he doesnt think he earns enough to support a family and pay a mortgage, I know this but I've said to him sure you get by and manage somehow, having expensive things isnt important to me..... having him and oneday a family is whats important.

    For the moment im helping him with his stresses as best I can, talking with him about new ideas for businesses and courses where he can do something new and maybe something he'l enjoy more and will be happier with and make some more money as thats his ulitmate goal.

    I dont know what else I can do, but Im also left wondering if he will ever change his mind about children again?? Its not important at the moment as im young and dont want a child yet myself but one day it will be......


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey, relax, he said he wanted children, I'm pretty sure that hasn't changed. Money and providing for the family is a huge pressure guys have, and unlike women, who will want kids and will relax and know money will work out, guys will just shut down and say no, sorry love, can't afford them so I'm not having any.

    You know that one time, deep down, he wanted kids, it's just that reality is pushing its nose in for him and he can't ignore that.....when the stress wears off, maybe then have another chat, but I really wouldn't push him on this at the moment, unless you want kids in the next year....you'll just be adding to his stress and for what? guys minds work differently - he'll deal with the issue of kids when it's closer to the time, right now he's preoccupied with money/stress and will just see your questions as unnecessary worry.

    unless you think his feelings weren't genuine/really really have changed due to something else (not money worries/stress) then chill


Advertisement