narcissistic father

LegacyUser

ive suspected my parents of being seperated almost five years now. my father lives in cork and returns on a part time basis mainly when my mother is working nights. i have confronted my mother on many occassions because i didnt have the courage to confront my father. my mother denied this.
i once confronted my father about it. he also denied it. it was quite obvious he was panic stricken when i put it to him.
i also suspect my father is having an affair. this has been happening for years and my siblings also suspect it.
if this man is seperated and having an open relationship with another woman and my mother is aware of it, i think we have a right to know what is going on with there relationship.

i feel this is all having a severe impact on my well being.

Sehnsucht

You should definitely sit them both down and ask for an explanation, no more BS. If they still deny it I can't see what else you can do. In what way is your father's narcissism causing problems?

kenbrady

un registered wrote: »

ive suspected my parents of being seperated almost five years now. my father lives in cork and returns on a part time basis mainly when my mother is working nights. i have confronted my mother on many occassions because i didnt have the courage to confront my father. my mother denied this.
i once confronted my father about it. he also denied it. it was quite obvious he was panic stricken when i put it to him.
i also suspect my father is having an affair. this has been happening for years and my siblings also suspect it.
if this man is seperated and having an open relationship with another woman and my mother is aware of it, i think we have a right to know what is going on with there relationship.

You suspect something. You confronted both your parents and they told you that you are incorrect.

You are convinced that you are right and know more than you do. Add that to the following

un registered wrote: »

i feel this is all having a severe impact on my well being.

Do you actually know what it is to be narcissistic ?

OS119

sorry, in what way is this your business?

your parents are adults, it is their absolute right to conduct their relationship (or 'non-relationship') in anyway they see fit.

how fcuking dare you 'confront' another adult about the way they choose to live their lives - if you can't handle not having the Waltons for parents then don't get involved with them, but you have no right to either get them to do anything, nor to be told the nature of their relationship.

Smallbit

Your parents have a duty of care toward you, but only until you become an adult. You don't mention your age, but unless your parents are mistreating you in some way, or damaging you emotionally, you really have no right to insist or contront etc.

Apart from your disbelief of their explanation, is there any other basis upon which you could claim to have suffered a sever impact?

The 'me-centred' tone of your post could just as easily imply narcissism on your part. Part of growing up is accepting that you do not have executive control over the lives of others, even your family.

sam34

un registered wrote: »

if this man is seperated and having an open relationship with another woman and my mother is aware of it, i think we have a right to know what is going on with there relationship.

i feel this is all having a severe impact on my well being.

he isnt having an open relationship with someone else - if he was , you'd know about it... thats what an open relationship is, ie not hidden.

you have no right to know how he and your mother conduct their relationship...thats their business. if they want a marriage like teh one you described, thats up to them.

are either of them trying to harm your relationship with the other one?
no, by the sounds of things. they both claim they are happily married.

why cant you accept that?

LegacyUser

If what you suspect is true OP, then I do feel sorry for you. It is extremely frustrating when people insist on playing happy families when the opposite is true. IMO this is your business as these people are your parents!!!

You say you and your siblings suspect your father is in another relationship, how and why would your mother continue this charade if her husband had another woman??

username123

un registered wrote: »

i think we have a right to know what is going on with there relationship.

Why?

un registered wrote: »

i feel this is all having a severe impact on my well being.

And why?

How is it any of your business, in what way is it having an impact on your wellbeing?