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ex becoming good friends?

  • 13-01-2010 1:25am
    #1
    confussed.com
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭


    As some may know i just broken up with my girlfriend of 6 years... she ended it just over a week ago.. she said she wanted to stay good friends and she says im her best friend.. since we broke up we've been texting like wer still going out... and its giving me false hope of us getting bac together.. what should i do? how does she expect e to get over her if still texting me full time...


Comments

  • #2
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    You can't be friends until you're over her. Stop texting her her. Tell her you want space and need to get your head sorted. That's not an unreasonable request if she finished it and you didn't want it to end.

    It seems better than nothing at the moment because you still want her. Well think how horrific its going to be when she starts seeing guys and talking to you about them, because that's where you're headed for if you keep this dynamic going.


  • #3
    Moomoo1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,960 ✭✭✭Moomoo1


    confussed.com wrote: »
    As some may know i just broken up with my girlfriend of 6 years... she ended it just over a week ago.. she said she wanted to stay good friends and she says im her best friend.. since we broke up we've been texting like wer still going out... and its giving me false hope of us getting bac together.. what should i do? how does she expect e to get over her if still texting me full time...

    tell her she can either have the relationship, or nothing at all. Then stop replying to her.


  • #4
    confussed.com
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭confussed.com


    i know we should stop texting but its still a habbit after 6 years... she was at my gaff this morning to say good bye before she went bac to uni.. she says it was as friends.. and wen i asked her has she told anyone bout us she says she only told her best friend and she got bit mad at me wen i said i told a few people? not to get my hopes up but what all this about? she insists that she doesnt want to get back but the ways she is acting it feels like she does....


  • #5
    Moomoo1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,960 ✭✭✭Moomoo1


    confussed.com wrote: »
    i know we should stop texting but its still a habbit after 6 years... she was at my gaff this morning to say good bye before she went bac to uni.. she says it was as friends.. and wen i asked her has she told anyone bout us she says she only told her best friend and she got bit mad at me wen i said i told a few people? not to get my hopes up but what all this about? she insists that she doesnt want to get back but the ways she is acting it feels like she does....

    just tell her firmly that you don't want contact unless she wants to get back with you. Trust me, it's the best way. Ignore everything else (like what she said), it does not matter.


  • #6
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    OP -you are still into her. I mean how would you feel if she brought a fella around to your gaff for coffee and they were holding hands etc -not good.Thats what best friends can do and you are not close.

    So currently she is getting the best of both worlds she can date other people and have you on a leesh that she can yank.So her solution works for her but not for you.

    You dont have to be nasty. Just say -Ive been thinking about this friend thing and its not for me and I dont want you texting me etc.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It's not worth the heartache mate. My 5 year relationship ended a few months ago, and she suggested the friends thing. In hindsight, it was to ease her own guilt of what happened. I took the bait for a while, and paid for it. I clung to all hopes of getting back together, instead of doing what I now know was best for me.
    Cut the contact (I know this may seem impossible to you, everyone suggested it to me and I couldn't do it for quite a while). But, when I cut contact, everything got easier. You'll think about her less and less, and hopefully find someone else to replace the negative thoughts of her with positive thoughts of them.
    I'm still getting there, but it's getting easier all the time.
    Good luck mate.
    ps. you really don't wanna be around when she starts seeing someone else, it's not good.


  • #8
    confussed.com
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭confussed.com


    itshard wrote: »
    It's not worth the heartache mate. My 5 year relationship ended a few months ago, and she suggested the friends thing. In hindsight, it was to ease her own guilt of what happened. I took the bait for a while, and paid for it. I clung to all hopes of getting back together, instead of doing what I now know was best for me.
    Cut the contact (I know this may seem impossible to you, everyone suggested it to me and I couldn't do it for quite a while). But, when I cut contact, everything got easier. You'll think about her less and less, and hopefully find someone else to replace the negative thoughts of her with positive thoughts of them.
    I'm still getting there, but it's getting easier all the time.
    Good luck mate.
    ps. you really don't wanna be around when she starts seeing someone else, it's not good.


    thank you so much.. its great to get advice from someone that has gone thru the same thing and it make me glad to see your the better for cutting all contact.. its hard but thanks to u i know its gets easier.. as for cutting contact with her its gonna be hard but everyone thinks its for the best so its wat i gotta do..


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