Should Friendship Lines be crossed?

*Trillian*

I just crossed a friendship line and don't know what to do about it. I was out with a long term and very good friend of mine who I had never before seen as anything but that when we kissed. It completely took me out of left field but it was awesome. Have never had such a great first kiss ever.
[both perfectly sober btw]

All fine and dandy, but it got a bit a bit hot and heavy and we were suddenly back at my house and I was being thrown onto the bed when suddenly we both seemed to come to our senses and realise who each other were and so nothing much happened..We were both a bit weirded out I think. He stayed the night and we talked and cuddled and fooled around a bit but kept saying how weird it was..

Now I can't stop thinking about it and how great I think it could be but I am so terrified of losing him as a friend I don't want to even make things awkward by as it hasn't been and we've just been talking as normal..

Sooo, anyone been in a similar position? What is the best thing to do when a friend is involved? Just stay friends happy that I have that or risk it..? Anyone had any good or bad experiences or want to give some advice?

Liam Byrne

If you've that spark combined with a genuine friendship it might be worth a shot!

Wagon

It's worth the risk. No point waiting around and wondering what could have been. Friendship is a great thing but if you've got such a great attraction to each other then go on. What did he say about it?

cafecolour

Sounds like you were both into it, and then get paranoid that the other one wasn't. Go for it.

Bubblefett

I found myself in a very similar situation. Me and my best friend were hanging out watching a film and then the next minute he kissed me, out of nowhere. I've never felt sparks like that, it was pure magic!

After that we decided to take things very slow, being such close friends we didn't want to risk going too far ahead that we couldn't go back if things went wrong. We didn't even tell anyone! It was 6 months before we finally let the majority of our friends and our familys know we were seeing each other (though they all told us they knew already!)

Nearly 3 years together now and it's the best relationship i've ever had. He's my soul mate and we just work really well together, we've no secrets cause we already know everything about eachother and he's the one I plan on spending the rest of my life with.

So i'd say go for it. It's worth the risk

*Trillian*

Well I asked if we should just pretend it never happened and he said that he wasn't very good at pretending things hadn't happened..

He did say he found it really weird because it was with me. Also in the light of day we kind of parted on a bit of an awkward hug/kiss.. This is the problem.. Will it stay awkward and therefore can it work?

I wonder did it just happen and now he's regretting it. I suppose I should just ask him.. I will (hopefully) get over it if he says he is, but I suppose I will always wonder if I don't. But again I don't want to make things unnecessarily awkward and leave him thinking in the back of his mind forever that I am secretly in love with him if he's not..

Konata

I definitely think you need to talk about it. You may not hear what you want to hear but it's better than always wondering. And you never know, you could hear exactly want you what! But talking is the only way to go.

BTW, I'm PMing you with some more.
Too many familiar eyes around boards

qt9ukbg60ivjrn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoqDYcCDOTg

*Trillian*

Darrell Thankful Fireman wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoqDYcCDOTg

Ha ha, I don't think I can not now :P

Love this!!

kenbrady

*Trillian* wrote: »

Well I asked if we should just pretend it never happened

He did say he found it really weird because it was with me.

I wonder did it just happen and now he's regretting it.

I will (hopefully) get over it if he says he is,

eave him thinking in the back of his mind forever that I am secretly in love with him if he's not..

Sounds to me like you are not concerned about the friendship thing. You are worried that he doesn't feel the same way as you.

Taltos

Key thing here is to take an action. What you don't want is to dither too long because in the meantime someone else might jump in and try to "distract" him.

I am no married to my best friend - like you was worried about losing the friendship - but was honest with myself with the feelings I had I knew the friendship in its current state was already doomed.

For some it doesn't work out - but when it does the risk is really worth it.

G-Money

Hmmmm, my first reaction when I read this was that I bet he's not sitting there having the same doubts and concerns.

Ok, he might have been weirded out but it may just have been because he knows you so well.

I'm a guy and I'll be honest, if I hooked up with a female friend and I really liked her/liked it, the friendship wouldn't be enough anymore and as a result, I wouldn't be that bothered about maintaining the friendship. I basically wouldn't care about messing it up if I wanted the whole thing to be more.

But that's just me. I've a slightly different few on friendship I think than most people.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Be honest if you like him.

If you're worried about ruining the friendship... well little bit late for that now don't ya think.

If there's something there this won't be able to function as a friendship in the future

ManOfMystery

*Trillian* wrote: »

He did say he found it really weird because it was with me. Also in the light of day we kind of parted on a bit of an awkward hug/kiss.. This is the problem.. Will it stay awkward and therefore can it work?

It may just have seemed awkward because you're both in that limbo stage where you don't know exactly what's going on.

Sit down, have a chat and see how you both feel about it. Tackle it now, head-on, rather than waiting for something to happen.

*Trillian*

Thanks everyone for the replies

I texted him last night and got a message back just basically paraphrasing me and saying he didn't know what to think. Gonna meet up and figure it out.

Think everyone's right. The damage is done now. We're friends so we can talk about everything else, why not this.. If the friendship was all that strong in the first place something like this wont ruin it as long as we are both honest about things and don't act like fruitloops..

fingers crossed!

Thanks again everyone!

qt9ukbg60ivjrn

what happened?