I want a fresh start

mcgalway1

I am currently in a state where absolutely nothing going for me. last year i finished my leaving cert but did not get the points i needed for college. So i decided to repeat in a different school. All my previous friends have moved on and i lost contact with ALL of them.

In the new school i havent been able to make any new friends as the soicial scene is completley different to my previous school . (it is a private school).

Because of this big change of scene, i went into a state of depression where i would skip school and just spend my time at home in bed getting nothing constructive done.

last summer, i spent my time playing poker online and meeting up with a few friends at the weekend. that is also where i met my girlfriend.
We have been going out for 6 months and i have unconsciously been leaving my friends behind to meet up with her and spend time with her. (i was the definition of clingey!)

None of my old friends want to hang out with me anymore and my relationship with my girlfriend has ended today.

My old friends dont want to hang out with me because i was choosing her over them.

Any efforts i make trying to hang out with the lads winds up in them saying something like 'no im busy' or 'im working' etc.

I feel like if i was to die today, nobody would care.

The only people i get on with are my parents, and at 18 thats not a good way to be.

I just want to leave it all behind, move to dublin or something and start a new life, away from home and away from the friendships and relationships i messed up in the past.

any help would be very much appreciated

Abi

You need to get your life back in focus. I'm glad you are repeating your leaving, its the way to go. Go back to your classes, that is one thing that was heading in the right direction for you.

I'm sorry things have ended with your girlfriend, but it happens to a lot of people the first time they fall for someone. Why don't you ask your old friends for just a minute and explain this, and apologize for letting them down. Ask if they can forgive you and that you won't let a girl get in the way of a friendship again.

This was an important life lesson for you, you have to stay in touch with friends when you are in a relationship. Because if a relationship breaks down you will need support, and if you've ignored them to be with one person, well you're on your own.

I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but if I can make a suggestion? Step away from the online poker for a bit, you need to get out there again, and if you want life to turn right again, other things have to be prioritized right now.

Running like hell away from this won't solve anything, step up to the plate and be a man. Start being honest with yourself. And try harder at school. Have you joined any clubs or societies?

Badboy1977

Im 38 so might not be that in touch with teenage social procedures. Here is a suggestion-invite a small group of friends to something that you will pay for. Im not sure what exactly. Apologise in a major major way. Guys often make this mistake of abandoning friends because they are in love/lust. The Event can be a concert/comedy gig. Perhaps your parents might fund it-if you are honest with them and explain situation. Im talking 2 or three friends.


Part of problem with being young is you dont have experience. years like you have had will happen and will pass. I have had some amazing ups and downs. Guess what-because of the downs-the ups are better. You cant experience joy without knowing what sorrow is.

Join clubs too but work on existing friends-be prepared to be honest with them and be very apologetic.
Give plenty of notice and put some thought into it.

mcgalway1

Abigayle wrote: »

This was an important life lesson for you, you have to stay in touch with friends when you are in a relationship.

Great advice thank you.

wylo

Op, you only young and at least your at a nice early age to learn a life lesson like that. Because there is nothing worse than having a friend who completely blanks you as soon as they fall in love. But forgive and forget I guess. Good advice by Badboy1977. A serious apology and acknowledgement that you were probably a bit of asshole goes a long long way.

Theres also something else you should remind yourself of. You are only 18 and arent even in college yet. Most people lose touch with their school mates as soon as school is finished. You make much better friends in college and in jobs imo.

Your only 18 , you do have your life ahead of you you know.

cafecolour

I 2nd the two pronged approach - keep attempting to reconnect with your old friends and makes some new ones. Galway's a pretty friendly town, I've met plenty of mates there myself

Also keep your focus on the leaving cert, once you pass that, you may well be heading elsewhere for uni.