Should I dump him?

LegacyUser

I've been with my guy for almost 2 years... now I'm starting to see through the cracks! We get on great... I love being in his company, but when I'm at home and on the phone - he's easily distracted, he'll often admit to reading websites when I'm telling him something. (I don't rabbit on on the phone... our longest ever phone call was 20 mins & that on actually was both ways!!!!)

He's very wrapped up in his own life, & more often than not I just have to fit in. I've put up with this until now.... now I feel that If he cares about me he needs to make more of an effort. I've been sick recently & for one excuse or another - he couldn't call to see me... When I kind of was recovered I drove over to his... although he objected to me driving he didn't offer to do so himself. So... if I want to see him, 2 weeks after surgery it's up to me to get in the car....

Then every three / four days since when I think we should be seeing each other - I have to ring him to see whats going on - usually he hasn't a clue & again I end up doing the running!

Tonight annoyed me... not sure why? Basically here we were again with me offering to drive over to him on icy roads & him going "oh icy roads!!!... thats why I don't want to drive, if you want then do, but I think you're mad!" I said I didn't mind.... I had originally offered to cook dinner for both of us, no such invitation was returned. I was left in no doubt that he didn't; want to come over & didn't think I should either....

I do think this guy cares about me.... am I being an idiot or how do I make him make more of an effort?

LegacyUser

you put less effort, then he may put more.

anyway, if you are tired of running, stop running. sit down and relaxed.

if you dont hear him, maybe then you know.

Kimia

Agree with the above. Just stop running. It'll show you very clearly where you stand. He's starting to take you for granted so I think you should back off and if he doesn't text you/ring/ask you out or come up with a suggestion of how / where to meet, you will see for yourself how much he cares.

miec

Oh dear Op

I have had experience of this and it is pretty demoralising doing all the running. I am afraid this where you need steely determination and as the other posters pointed out, back off and do other things. Is he by any chance the centre of your world? Do you have hobbies, interests or other stuff to do? He is either self absorbed or taking it for granted that you'll come over, either way he is not showing you the attention you hope for, so I would stop calling over and see what happens. Maybe give yourself a time limit of how long you are willing to wait, and if he doesn't call over or make contact then I personally would end it. It doesn't bode well that after two years he couldn't make the effort to visit you when you were ill and I am sure that this is a huge source of your annoyance and anger.

jenga-jen

OP this is like reading about my life 15 months ago!

I was going out with a guy who, like your bf, made me do all the running. Even down to your surgery story: I was in a car crash and had to drive to his 'to be minded' :rolleyes:

+1 to the other posters. Stop putting in the effort and hope that he wises up and starts to see he needs to do some of the running!

If not (IME) then it might be time to find someone who'll treat you as you deserve to be treated