Life secrets

lugha

Does anybody know anything that is just terribly clever? Not the third secret of Fatima or the short proof of Fermat's last theorem or the like, but some useful little trick or piece of advice for everyday living? In particular, little nuggets of wisdom that are not widely known, or better still, something you figured our all on your ownio. E.g. Can you chop an onion without balling like an Oscar winner? Or squish garlic so that your hands don't reek for two days? Have you a nifty little put down for cold callers or chuggers? Have you ever discovered some handy little short cut on your computer or the interweb? Can an un cat-pooped lawn ever be more than a dream? Have you figured out a way of walking in our currently white country without going arse over tit every 2 minutes?
In short do you know any useful stuff, about absolutely anything, that I can shamelessly rob? :pac:

we'llallhavetea_old

always wipe front to back

Cool Running

When sitting down on a chair like at a computer now, dont cross your legs as it stops blood flow, can cause blood clots etc

dambarude

lugha wrote: »

In short do you know any useful stuff, about absolutely anything, that I can shamelessly rob? :pac:

That's a bit too much of an open ended question surely?

Gummy Panda

Paragraphs help people to read your posts, is my tip.

Captain_Generic

When you're talking to someone in person, never consider which of their eyes to look at, once you do it, it cannot be undone:D

phlegms

Dont get caught.

AlmightyCushion

After a bath or shower you should dry your face first and arse/balls last, not the otherway around as I was doing for years.

Lazare

Put a tiny bit of shampoo onto a cloth and wipe it all over your mirror before you have a shower and it won't steam up. Works great for shaving in the shower.

Ickle Magoo

Running cold water on your wrists stop your eyes stinging when you peel onions. I have no idea how it works but it does!

Chop the bit of the garlic off where it was joined to the stalk then squash it with the flat of a knife, flick the skin away with knife point then chop - you don't need to handle it at all.

Dogs and cats hate the smell of citrus. Put citrus loo blocks in their little plastic holders around the garden and cats & dogs will stay clear.

Apparently socks over shoes work well in ice - I haven't been brave enough (in a fashion sense) to try it.

minidazzler

I PUT THE SCREW IN THE TUNA!!

pebbles21

Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time!

Lazare

If you want to stop cats from eyeing up your outdoor goldfish, spread lion sh1te around the garden. Cats leg it when they think a lion's been there.

tiptap

Lazare wrote: »

Put a tiny bit of shampoo onto a cloth and wipe it all over your mirror before you have a shower and it won't steam up. Works great for shaving in the shower.

does this really work, legend if it does !!!!!!!

Captain_Generic

Lazare wrote: »

If you want to stop cats from eyeing up your outdoor goldfish, spread lion sh1te around the garden. Cats leg it when they think a lion's been there.

What do you do with your outdoor lion?

DubTony

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

After a bath or shower you should dry your face first and arse/balls last, not the otherway around as I was doing for years.

Better tip. Wash your arse / balls properly.

Lazare

tiptap wrote: »

does this really work, legend if it does !!!!!!!

Yeah, go try it

tiptap

Lazare wrote: »

Yeah, go try it

now ?

Whosbetter?

To anybody who doesn't have kids.

Remember this.

Always remember the names of your friends kids & ask how they are doing.

It makes them think very well of you.

This only occured to me after I became a parent myself.

This is better advice than you realise...

Marvinthefish

Captain_Generic wrote: »

What do you do with your outdoor lion?

Eh, hang your washing out to dry?

Senna

Just because your body has orifices doesn't mean you should put things into them.

pebbles21

Never lick a steak knife;)

trench foot

hold water in your mouth while chopping onions.

Hard Larry

If the head of your lager is too frothy simply wipe the tip of your little finger off the side of your nose and dab the froth with it. It will begin to disolve.

If your pint is flat and lacking life simply get an empty glassand ring it around the rim of your pint glass and then lightly tap the empty glass off your pint glass. voila! Fizzy pint again!

Want to defog your car windows from the inside quickly? Hot Tea bag in a paper cup left on the dash for a couple of minutes.

So endeth the lessons of everything you need to know in life.

pablomakaveli

Always try to learn and remember the names of people you've just met and when speaking to someone you've recently met make sure to drop their name into some of your sentences. For example "Could you please pass me that John".

People always seem to respond in a better and friendlier manner if you remember their name.

we'llallhavetea_old

Hard Larry wrote: »

If the head of your lager is too frothy simply wipe the tip of your little finger off the side of your nose and dab the froth with it. It will begin to disolve.

If your pint is flat and lacking life simply get an empty glassand ring it around the rim of your pint glass and then lightly tap the empty glass off your pint glass. voila! Fizzy pint again!

Want to defog your car windows from the inside quickly? Hot Tea bag in a paper cup left on the dash for a couple of minutes.

So endeth the lessons of everything you need to know in life.

your like jesus!

Saibh

Nothing too exciting, but use tumble dryer sheets for dusting - seemingly it is suppose to keep the dust away longer.

lugha

Hard Larry wrote: »

Want to defog your car windows from the inside quickly? Hot Tea bag in a paper cup left on the dash for a couple of minutes.

Like the milking of cows I have to ask how you discovered this and what did you think you were doing?
I might give that a try but I suspect you are pulling my leg but (guess I will know if I find my neighbours pointing and laughing )

Hard Larry

lugha wrote: »

Like the milking of cows I have to ask how you discovered this and what did you think you were doing?
I might give that a try but I suspect you are pulling my leg but (guess I will know if I find my neighbours pointing and laughing )

Lived with 2 mates, we would use paper plates and cups so we didn't have to was dishes so often

We were getting ready to go work and on one particulary icy moning he was starting the car while I was making the tea. It took a age for the car to heat up so the tea had been consumed by now. I take my tea with the bag in it and had left it on the dash while the air was blowing up through the vents.

And thus a legend was born.

Dr. Baltar

Never piss against the wind.

Black Dog

Don't eat the yellow snow

davyjose

lugha wrote: »

Does anybody know anything that is just terribly clever? Not the third secret of Fatima or the short proof of Fermat's last theorem or the like,

I just solved Fermat's last theorem....fcuk you, I'm not telling you now.

<runs away crying>

Sofiztikated

1. If you want to get a better deal on something, pricewise, do NOT, and I'll underline it for the slow people, DO NOT say, "In these recessionary times," or "But there's a recession,."

It makes you a dickhead, the person you are dealing with will dig heels in, and you are less likely to get a deal than if you just said, "Seriously, whats the best you can do for this..." or offer a price, and say "Well, I have this to spend, its yours in a sale if you want it..."

2. Cheaper does NOT always mean better value.

3. Equate deals properly. For example, I work in a Spa resort hotel. We do have offers on. Just because you can get a rate in a D4 hotel in Ballsbridge does NOT mean I am going to price match, as that is a different market, different area, and different catchment group.

4. There is such a thing as too much lubricant. And thats not intended to be as sexual as people will read it.

Tefral

Problem with bees and Wasps in the summer: Leave some hydraulic oil in a container away from your house, bees love the stuff and will flock to it and die.

After all this bad weather stops take your car to be washed in a jet wash, scrub under arches and under the car as much as possible, the salt they are putting on the roads will cause rust.

Coke is good for cleaning jewellry.

Mushrooms last longer in the fridge if taken out of their plastic container and put into a brown bag.

If ya ever get a No parking sticker stuck to your window, take a cloth and rub it with vinegar. Wait 5 mins and it will peal straight off.

Vinegar is also great for cleaning your window wipers and cleaning your glass on the car.

Baby wipes are great for cleaning trainers and leather shoes.

Put vaseline on the terminals of your battery to stop corrosion (white firring)

Next time ya buy new trainers, take the little bags of silica gel out and put them in your car, they prevent dampness.

Buford T Justice

Never leave a dog alone with a remote control for your TV

Stairgates are only useful when they are closed.

If its brown - flush it down

Don't hit bee hives with a stick

About the Shampoo thing - This will also work in a car. Take a dry cloth and put some washing up liquid on it, wipe the window of the car with it. the white line will disappear and voila, the window fogs no more, as the liquid creates a film over the window.

m@cc@

Vodka doesn't freeze, so store it in a freezer and you'll have an ice cold vodka and whatever without the ice.

Coriolanus

m@cc@ wrote: »

Vodka doesn't freeze, so store it in a freezer and you'll have an ice cold vodka and whatever without the ice.

Same with gin, though it can go cloudy. Bacardi, Captain Morgans... a bunch of others too.

bonerm

Whosbetter? wrote: »

To anybody who doesn't have kids.

Remember this.

Always remember the names of your friends kids & ask how they are doing.

It makes them think very well of you.

This only occured to me after I became a parent myself.

This is better advice than you realise...

Pffft! They'll be grateful if I even choose to remember their names, let alone their friends.

Might go the George Foreman route and just name them all after myself.

InkSlinger67

Keep her between the ditches, both mentally and physically