Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Can I have a Fresh Start?

  • 08-01-2010 12:18pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everybody

    I am going to just throw this out there.

    I have been thinking recently about myself and my actions and how they have affected me and the people around me. From the age of 19- 23 I had many relationships, none of which lasted too long. I cheated on almost all of the relationships, hurting many people along the way. I have been punished in many different ways for those few years of sex and reckless fun. I feel bad about the people that I have lost and hurt along the way because of that.

    I am now a little older, and in a stable relationship. I am very very happy, and feel more secure than I have ever before in my life. I still carry a lot of guilt with me about how I acted in previous relationships, and how I cheated on innocent people who didn't deserve it. I feel that I don't deserve any happiness because of young, mindless and naive actions that I have done.

    I know myself why I was so promiscuous and flighty in previous relationships, and have sat down and taken a long hard look at myself in order to change. I made changes to my mindset and made peace with things that have happened in my past to ensure that I never act this way again.

    For some reason that doesn't seem enough, and I just can't forgive myself for my actions, and have contemplated breaking off my current relationship so he can be with somebody who has a cleaner past and no emotional guilt baggage like I do.

    I just feel that I don't deserve somebody as great as him in my life with what I have done in the past...

    Iris.


Comments

  • #2
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Iris. wrote: »
    I feel that I don't deserve any happiness because of young, mindless and naive actions that I have done.
    Yep and now you're not any of those things. It sounds like it was hard won too. Kudos

    I just feel that I don't deserve somebody as great as him in my life with what I have done in the past...
    YOu could also consider this. If you hadnt done all of those things and more importantly learned from them you wouldnt be the woman you are today, the woman in a happy relationship. You own your past and fair play, but dont let your past own you.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #3
    Barracudaincork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    So you cheated on past partners, you have learnt a very hard lesson regarding that and you know it will never happen again. By all means give out to yourself for behaving like that in the past but stop taunting yourself over it too, its in the past, you regret it but you cant change what you did.

    People can learn from their mistakes and you have, we all have pasts we arent proud of etc but we need to deal with them and move on, looking back all the time doesnt help.

    Dont ruin your happiness thinking you dont deserve it!!!


  • #4
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    If he didn't like your past he'd break up with you. but he hasn't. so just leave it.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP
    I went out with a great guy for a couple of years, thought he was the one. Things started to get rocky...he became distant. Ended up breaking up with me because he didn't think he deserved me because of his past. Everybody has a past, you just get on with things. I am sad that he couldn't just get on with things but thats the way it is. So OP, if you bf loves you he'll not be bothered about your past, he has a past too and that's where it is...the past. Think positive.xx


Advertisement