feel alone am i unreasonable?

LegacyUser

Hi,

Im feeling very lonely today, i have some deep rooted issues from my past surrounding abuse from my parents, i have worked through a lot in therapy and have built up my self esteem a huge amount, but i am used to being very independent now and when i get down i find it hard to ask for help. Im going to try and see a therapist again but i prob wouldnt need to if i had someone to talk to, just to share my feelings with every now and again.

I had a family growing up but no one left around me anymore. And where i came from i let go of a lot of toxic friends/people in my past so the new friends i have are not really suited to open this stuff up with,its pretty heavy stuff so i feel bad when i talk to people about it cause they dont know what to say, I also have a long term boyfriend but it seems if i try and talk about anything too much he gets really uncomfortable and changes the subject or leaves the room.

If i could have a chat about it every now and again i would feel great, i have sorted so much out before but i just want to feel acknowledged and heard by even one person.


I dont feel like i want to marry or have children with my partner sometimes, i am quite independent and the thoughts of living a life where i am that mother who isnt acknowledged and is a house wife scares me, I am with my partner 14 years, i sometimes feel like im living his life, i invest a lot in it and we spend a lot of time together,

Any perspective for me would really help,

Thanks in advance.

Ickle Magoo

Have you asked your bf why he get uncomfortable and changes the subject/leaves the room and how that makes you feel? You sound like you are starting to resent the lack of support or empathy & tbh, I don't blame you.