Overwhelmed by the Wedding

dresstoimpress

Hi there,
Hope someone can help me. Although we have been engaged for the last year, we have only recentely begun making plans for our Kerry wedding, and I am finding it so hard to make any decisions. I'm the first of my group of friends to get married and the oldest of all my cousins, so don't have very much experience of weddings. In all the magazines and books ( I have loads) they list out the various steps, pick a date, get a venue, find a band and so on. But what I want to know is how to find a decent but cheap photographer, a good band and the rest of it. We can't even decide on a date right now!!
Any advice, in particular to do with wedings in Kerry, would be great!:o

clint_silver

dresstoimpress wrote: »

Hi there,
Hope someone can help me. Although we have been engaged for the last year, we have only recentely begun making plans for our Kerry wedding, and I am finding it so hard to make any decisions. I'm the first of my group of friends to get married and the oldest of all my cousins, so don't have very much experience of weddings. In all the magazines and books ( I have loads) they list out the various steps, pick a date, get a venue, find a band and so on. But what I want to know is how to find a decent but cheap photographer, a good band and the rest of it. We can't even decide on a date right now!!
Any advice, in particular to do with wedings in Kerry, would be great!:o

Get a spreadsheet. Put everything in it you want.

Hit the websites on here and weddingsonline.ie for recommendations. this forum is good but not nearly as busy as weddingsonline.ie. (grrr, hate that place for sharp practices but it is probably your best starting point, all I'll say is if you dont see a recommendation for someone on there, it doesnt mean theyre a bad supplier, just check to see if theyve advertised with them first.) youll get a more unbiased review of someone on here.

Go to venues, price the food, put in a few formulas to total up. go and speak to suppliers, price them, put into the spreadsheet. All has to be done. Price according to budget. Its not easy but if you prepare yourself with recommendations you can avoid wasting time.

Clareman

Just remember that it's just the 2 of you that matter, if the 2 of you just want to go to the registry office and then to SuperMacs afterwards it all about you

Seriously though, it is very daunting, if I can give advice, don't tell people how much you are budgeting for anything, don't worry what others are doing, don't worry about what others want, it's about what you want. Don't be overwhelmed, everyone that'll be there whenever you decide to have it will be there for you and it's a great day

How Strange

This is what we did:
Picked the date
Agreed what kind of wedding we wanted
Looked at venues
Did up some rough quotations to give us an idea of costs
Did a draft guest list
Sorted out finance

I'd agree, don't compare your wedding to anyone elses. Once you what kind of wedding you want focus on it because it's very easy to get caught up and start adding in extras that you didn't want initially and your budget goes out at the window.

Also, imo, there's no such thing as the perfect hotel, dress etc. If a hotel won't negotiate then walk away. If a hotel thinks you really want to have your wedding there then they won't be as willing to negotiate.
Similarly if a dress is too expensive then shop around for another.

Stick to your estimates/budget
Shop around for everything

cyning

I'm getting married in Kerry next year... and I was in the exact same poistion as you!! Shop around the hotels: there are deals around. Pick where you want to get married (church etc). I'm at a slight advantage in that my OH is a chef where we get married but I still went to the other hotels in Tralee to make sure it was where I wanted!!! Oh and decide a budget... can't emphasise that enough!

thebiglad

You have loads of sound advise already so little to add.

Just book your chuch - you can generally pick a hotel to suit your date - i.e. 2nd preference, but usually you know the church you want and they too have a bookings diary.

Then, hit a few wedding fairs at hotels you are interested in if possible but if not at least in the same vicinity - there are loads of people pedalling their wares here.

Finally, the hotel you want, see if they will let you come in on the day they have set up a wedding (obviously before the wedding party arrive) and see how the room is laid out etc.

Relax and enjoy it, it is really not so difficult to arrange a wedding - you should get good help from the wedding coordinator in your chosen venue.

Remember it a wedding for you & your partner, not your family, friends or us here on boards - do it your way.

dresstoimpress

Thanks for the advice guys, I'll definately use most of it.
I guess the problem is, its so hard to please everyone, and I know what you mean about it being our day, but at the same time we don't want to start out married life with half our extended familys not talking to us!

We looked at some venues today. There doesn't seem to be much differance in prices, but the size of the rooms used for weddings vary a lot. One hotel suggested a room big enough for a GAA social for our wedding of around 150. Sure we'd be lost!
Any tips on what to look out for in a venue. We are already thinking, we need a smoking area close to the room, and a residents bar for after.
Also any advice on finding good bands and photographers in Kerry. Most of the websites seem to be for the lenister area.
Thanks again.....

thebiglad

Depending on time of year of the wedding a function room with doors to the gardens is good - allows in air but also the smokers don't have to wander off through the hotel lobby etc for their fix - hopefully this has the effect to keep most guests in the reception room.

Not sure what numbers you are having but we had 100 and a room big enough for 150 - just put 8 people (rather than 10) on all the tables and it filled out nicely.

When talking to your venues check how many rooms will be available for guests and how much will the wedding rate be. The hotel should also give you a list of the local B&Bs.

You will not please everyone - be reasonable but at the end of the day the wedding reception must be what you want.

cyning

Best thing to do for photographers is to ask around.... the hotel gave us a list of local suppliers so ask whatever hotel you go with do they have a pack like this... I'd agree alot of the sites don't have much info on Kerry which can really suck...