Age difference

LegacyUser

I have started going out with a guy who is 36, I'm 28, is this a big age difference?

mood

kinna wrote: »

I have started going out with a guy who is 36, I'm 28, is this a big age difference?

8 years is ok I think. I wouldn't go older than that. But it really depends on the two people involved.

cafecolour

No. 36 / 2 + 7 = 25, so you're fine

It's more about lifestages if anything. For instance, if you are all about the clubbing and he wants a more mellow existence, than that can be a prob.

star-pants

Wouldn't have thought it to be a big gap, you're both mature and if ye both like each other why not?
As said only things that might cause issues is life stages and where ye both are at right now.

Toto Wolfcastle

It's definitely not a big gap. I don't think age is a huge deal. What matters is whether you are compatible with the person and at the same stage in life. I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 42 and I couldn't be happier. If it works for you, go for it.

Wagon

I think age stops mattering when you hit your 30s, because at that stage, people have usually grown up and want the same things. 28 and 36? Sure its grand, wouldnt worry about it

Ickle Magoo

Depends on the people, I don't think 28 & 36 is a big a gap. When people are at completely different stages or levels of maturity then big gaps can cause a few issues.

Wurly

What do you think, OP? Do you guys get on? Do you's want the same things? etc

It doesn't really matter what anyone else deems to be an age difference. It's what you think that matters.

If you get on and all is well, then who cares about age?

LegacyUser

Has one of your friends said something about the age difference for you to question it yourself?

Personally I don't think it's a big age difference. As others have said ye both should be at a similar maturity level for it to work. Loads of people will tut tut and say you're too young, he's too old etc. Most of it can even come from your own friends. In my opinion that's jealousy. They're annoyed that they can't find anyone younger/older/same age to connect with it.

If both of ye are at the same place, I say go for it. You only get one shot at life.

Millie

I wouldn't see that as much of an age gap.
A few years ago when I was 30 I went out with a 40yr old and no issues.
Now I am happily living with my younger man, he is 32 and I am 36 (37 in a few months).

Taltos

It's only an issue if you think it is.
So do you? Is that why you are seeking 3rd party validation or has someone said something to you that has planted this seed of doubt?

Keep it simple - you like him - he likes you - you have similar interests.
Just see where it goes.
In a while if it gets more serious then have those other chats - living together - kids etc - but why not just kick back and enjoy each others company instead of wondering about his age?

ash23

I'm the same age as you OP and would go out with a guy his age no problem.

My only concern would be, long term do you both want the same things. If I met a guy of 36 who had been married and had kids and didn't want more, then it would be a problem as that is something I want. Like wise if he wanted to travel the world for 2 years and settle down in a slum in India, well we'd have problems

Once you are both on the same page about the relationship the age thing isn't important.

The Nice Jumper

My tuppence would be that this is fine, but if it was the other way around, as in female is 36 and male is 28 I would say no. That point of view may not sit well with many people but it's an honest opinion.

Miaireland

I went out with a guy who was 23 years older than me. It really depends on the people involved rather than the age itself.

sowhat??

Age is just a number, it's your mentality that counts. A good friend of mine is married to a guy ten years younger and you couldn't meet a nicer couple.If you are suited on a personality front and want the same things then it's not an issue. Good luck!

Darthhoob

i'm 27 and my OH is 37...we have a great relationship. because we want the same things in life and have similar views and values etc...tbh we actually forget about the age difference most of the time!

i met him when i was 21 and he was 31...so lasted so far lol

ggirl

I know I am a bit late coming to this thread but I just spotted it and am really interested in it!! I have just recently fallen for a guy who is 12 years younger than me. Until it happened I would have thought it was impossible but the age gap just feels non-existent. We want the same things, have the same ideals and values and get on better than I ever have with anyone in my life. At my stage in life I am old enough to know what I want and don't want and he is mature beyond his years and knows himself well too. We both got into it intending to have just fun but have fallen in love when we least expected it. I am amazed but everyone in my life is being really supportive - because they can see how happy he makes me and that he is a good man. I guess past a certain age - or more to the point maturity level - it just doesn't matter. If it is meant to be it will be.

Wibbs

If you're both on the same page as people and are compatible I really dont think it matters as much as some may think. I think other things may matter more actually. Some of the best relationships Ive known there was an age gap sometimes a big age gap too.

I have noticed its much more common nowadays than when I was 20. I can think of a load of men and women going out with people much older or younger than them. 20 years ago I could have come up with one couple like that.