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sleep with married woman?

  • 07-01-2010 4:15pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    going to keep this brief.

    Im 21 year old male, basically i know this 38 year old woman who wants to have sex with me she is married and i have a girlfriend. she just want no strings sex, we haven't done it yet but could at any time, i know i have girlfriend but i am tempted with the offer of a older woman and if it was just a once off and neither of other parties found out could it be that bad......


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Do you care if it all comes out, her husband comes for you, your girlfriend leaves you and your ruin a bunch of relationships and a family?

    If not, go nuts!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    going to keep this brief.

    Im 21 year old male, basically i know this 38 year old woman who wants to have sex with me she is married and i have a girlfriend. she just want no strings sex, we haven't done it yet but could at any time, i know i have girlfriend but i am tempted with the offer of a older woman and if it was just a once off and neither of other parties found out could it be that bad......

    Why dont you just get your girlfriends permission? Or are you going on the premise that forgiveness is easier to get then permission?

    As for could it be that bad? Id say so, i cant see any 38 women being satisfied by a selfish 21 year old to be honest. Could be the worst sex of her life!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    going to keep this brief.

    Im 21 year old male, basically i know this 38 year old woman who wants to have sex with me she is married and i have a girlfriend. she just want no strings sex, we haven't done it yet but could at any time, i know i have girlfriend but i am tempted with the offer of a older woman and if it was just a once off and neither of other parties found out could it be that bad......

    I personally wouldn't out of sheer morals and believe me I had the choice once. But the fact that your even asking this question when you have a girlfriend shows me your the type of person who will do this so why bother asking?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    If you were single, I'd say why not with some reservations. For a married 38 yo woman to want to jump on a 21 yo - I'd almost wonder if the husband has some cuckolding fetish and is encouraging it.

    If you're in a serious relationship, I'd say it might not be the brightest idea.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 351 ✭✭jenga-jen


    i know i have girlfriend but i am tempted with the offer of a older woman and if it was just a once off and neither of other parties found out could it be that bad......

    Eh sorry? You'd want to be properly sure that this was going to mind-blowing, life altering sex if it's going to be worth possibly losing your gf over! And I'll just throw it out there: a 38yo body might not be what you expect and some 38yo women might not necessarily equate to sex goddess! (although we can all hope ladies :p)

    If you want to carry on like this then maybe you need to be single IMO. Unless it's partially the thought of getting away with it that's spurring you to do it, in which case you're using your gf's trust as a turn on with someone else which adds a whole new dimension to the deception.

    Do you really want to be this guy and how would you feel if the situation was reversed?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    Would you like your gf to sleep with a married man (or unmarried/single for that matter)?

    I really don't see the rewards of this?
    Wow.. you get to sleep with some random older lady once. Is it really going to be that amazing that you'd risk your relationship and the womans marriage over?

    If you care at ALL for your gf you won't do it.
    The fact you're even asking tells us you obviously don't care that much so why not just break up with her and you can sleep with all the women you want.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭magneticimpulse


    You obvisously dont care about your girlfriend or passing around STDs. If this woman had kids, she is prob quite saggy down below (i dont know, but i heard things dont go back to normal after child birth). So it could be bad sex, plus you might not have the experience she is used to. Also she is old enough to be your mother and also could be a granny at such an age. Theres just so many negatives, i dont really see the advantages of this idea at all.

    Dump your girlfriend if you want to sleep with other women (unless she is happy to have an open relationship). Are you happy if she goes and sleeps with a 38 yr old married man just for the laugh??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    Do you think people are going to say 'oh great idea, go for it?':rolleyes:

    Obviously you know this is an idiotic idea, otherwise you would not be posting here.

    Clearly you don't really care much about your girlfriend to be considering something like this. Why not be single for a bit and sleep around to your heart's content?!

    Maybe it might be a good idea to steer clear from married women though? Just a thought.

    Also - these situations rarely end up remaining a secret.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    Is the OP for real? :eek: Regardless of whether the 38 year old woman has a perfect body or not (some of us women in our 30s do look after ourselves:rolleyes:) it would be stupid. If you were both single and looking for no-strings fun it might be ok, but she's married, you have a girlfriend so it isn't.

    You might be an unpleasant surprise if you go ahead with this, this woman and her husband could be swingers, or he could be into voyeurism and getting turned on by watching a hot 21 year old stud with his wife. If they knew you had a girlfriend they might ask you to get her to join in. Don't do it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 351 ✭✭jenga-jen


    Emme wrote: »
    Is the OP for real? :eek:

    Starting to wonder this myself... :rolleyes:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,875 ✭✭✭✭MugMugs


    going to keep this brief.

    Im 21 year old male, basically i know this 38 year old woman who wants to have sex with me she is married and i have a girlfriend. she just want no strings sex, we haven't done it yet but could at any time, i know i have girlfriend but i am tempted with the offer of a older woman and if it was just a once off and neither of other parties found out could it be that bad......

    I take it that you have never been cheated on then....

    When you find out you get this sickly hurt feeling in your stomach.... Thats the physical bit.... Then your emotionally distracted and turn into a lemon for a few days trying to take it all in asking all these questions of what you did wrong etc....

    If you sleep with this MARRIED woman then you obviously dont care for your Girlfriend as you wouldnt put her through this because no matter what you think.... THE TRUTH ALWAYS COMES OUT.... Eventually...

    Take it from another angle.... What would say / do / think if you found out your mother ripped your father off with a 21 year old ? I would never speak to mine again..... ever !

    I cant really believe your asking this question... It's a No to cheating on your GF and it's a no to assist this selfish cow ruin her marriage...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    If you have an issue with a post or the thread then used the report post function as
    Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
    Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
    Have a nice day.
    Thaedydal


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 670 ✭✭✭C.D.


    I'm very surprised that nobody has mentioned the woman's family- what if she has young children? If you did have NSA fun and it came out it could very well blow her family apart and your 40 mins of fun could result in children (if any) being raised in a broken home.

    If the woman wants to cheat she probably will- in the same way a drug addict who wants drugs will try get them elsewhere if you won't aid them. By sleeping with her you are enabling her behaviour- in the same way you might by giving money to a drug addict to purchase drugs.

    Whatever about her, anybody with a shred of morality would wash their hands of such a situation- it is testimony to how unevolved we are that 40 minutes of fun to satisfy our most base and carnal desires is an acceptable price to pay for risking the safe loving environment a harmonious couple can offer their children.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,001 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    OP

    Contemplate this scenario as a thought exercise.

    38 year old woman. Wants baby. Husband sperm = past it (or husband doesn't want more kids and had the snip). Enter bucking naive young 21 year old. Ka-ching! Free sperm donor. 9 months later. Baby. Bit of slap and tickle into the bargain. Husband does not need to know (maybe snip failed - it happens and he is easily convinced). 21 year old will be terrified of parenthood.

    This could of course be total fantasy. But this is just one of the potential complications you could be letting yourself in for. And this **** does happen. Do you want to have to deal with this kind of crap?

    Quite aside from that - if you love your girlfriend - have more respect for her than to cheat.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 404 ✭✭kenbrady


    going to keep this brief.

    Im 21 year old male, basically i know this 38 year old woman who wants to have sex with me she is married and i have a girlfriend. she just want no strings sex, we haven't done it yet but could at any time, i know i have girlfriend but i am tempted with the offer of a older woman and if it was just a once off and neither of other parties found out could it be that bad......
    The woman and the scenario are irrelevant. It comes down to your relationship with your girlfriend. At 21 why go out with someone, if you don't think they are special and worth giving up the single life for.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭St James


    KISS - (Keep it simple, stupid) DON'T do it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,097 ✭✭✭extra-ordinary_


    Your 21 and maybe you think the opportunity of sex with a 38 year old 'older' woman is too good an opportunity to pass up. If so you're dangerously deluded and your apparent disregard for your partner is terrible. You feel alright about lying to your girlfriend and the fact this woman is prepared to endanger her marriage for a quick ride with a 21 year old? If so, I see a life of misery ahead of you.
    Hopefully you're better than this and see how pathetic this woman is being.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    She's lying she's actually 61 ;)

    If you're going to do this(which I don't think you should) be careful about it. Go to a hotel, don't go to her place or bring her to yours. MAke getting caught as unlikely as possible.

    Also make sure you know this women well. Make sure she's mentally stable.

    Do you work with her? If you do I'd say stay well well away. She could be out boozing and start feeling jealous of your girlfriend, then tell someone. That person spreads it around and you're a homewrecking scumbag.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭magneticimpulse


    Rule No.1 : People always find out the truth eventually....never seen anyone get away with anything, the truth always pops out.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    Rule No.1 : People always find out the truth eventually....never seen anyone get away with anything, the truth always pops out.

    Yeah, in soap operas. Despite what you think, people do get away with things.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 211 ✭✭martdalto


    OP - I don't get the fascination with older "experienced" women?!!
    It's not all like it is on telly... she may not be that "experienced" at all. It's likely she's only ever had one partner, her husband, and it's likely that their sex isn't very excting, or experimental.. hence the reason she's having a look around for something else.

    Chances are, she knows a couple of positions.. but you probably know them too. It going to be a bit of a fumble for both of you. Maybe made exciting by the fact that you know you shouldn't be doing it.. but I tihnk that's where the excitement would end.

    Not too many married 38 year old women would have a wild sex life that you could class them as "experienced".

    They may have had more sex than a 21 year old, but probably just more of the same sex... do you know what I mean?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭magneticimpulse


    Yeah, in soap operas. Despite what you think, people do get away with things.

    Well maybe you just know thick people. Ive always found out everything and was never tricked. i always found the truth and people around me always found out the truth. So unless you live in a bubble its highly unlikely. Theres going to be somebody who knows...who tells their mate, who puts a photo on Facebook, who's friend see's this, who tells the neighbour who lives next door to the person he's shaggging, then the misses finds the credit card bill or receipt in the post for the hotel...etc...You get the drift. Very difficult to hide people's tracks these days.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭pretty-in-pink


    It's possible to do this & get away with it. However have you considered the emotional reprecussions of it? Like guilt. One or both of you will feel it. and then its just a waiting game till confession time.

    Anyways, theres plenty of time when you're 38 to sleep with 38 year old women. Why run into it? if you're bored and looking for extra sex kicks, then you should not be in a relationship that you aren't willing to spice up. if you're frequently compelled to cheat,well thats a different ball game and may require some self- assesment.

    In a word don't do it. it might be easy, but i doubt it will be fun. and it will have a price tag on it, even if you can't see it yet


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 211 ✭✭martdalto


    Ive always found out everything and was never tricked. i always found the truth and people around me always found out the truth. So unless you live in a bubble its highly unlikely.

    You can't be sure you know everything! You only know what you know.. you may think it's everything but chances are it's not!
    Theres going to be somebody who knows...who tells their mate, who puts a photo on Facebook, who's friend see's this, who tells the neighbour who lives next door to the person he's shaggging, then the misses finds the credit card bill or receipt in the post for the hotel...etc...You get the drift. Very difficult to hide people's tracks these days.


    I think THESE are the thick people you are talking about!! In an adult world, if someone wants to get away with something they are clever about hiding it.. in a childish world, people will tell their mates.. post pictures on facebook, use a credit card instead of cash etc..!!

    Fact is OP could do it and get away with it, it has been done, and it will continue to be done... But the question is, is it worth it, OP? You may "get away with it", in that your gf never finds out, or her husband never finds out.. but YOU will always know. And believe me, that guilt lives you with for a long, long time... it does.

    If you're not too bothered about feeling a bit guilty, then go for it. But don't post back in a while saying it all went horribly wrong, she's pregnant, she keeps phoning you, she told her husband to make him jealous and now he's after you etc... and now you don't know what to do.

    There is a chance she is trying to use you to get at her husband. Before doing anything like this you would want to be VERY sure of the person you are going to do it with, and VERY sure of their intentions or motivation.

    But all that said... You're better off spicing up your own sex life with your gf. Leave the sad 38 year old woman who's trying to get off with someone who was being born just before she turned 18, to figure out how to rekindle her own sex life.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Ah no... You are 21, there will be plenty fo sex in your future and you dont need to lower yourself to the level of sleeping with a married woman... It would probably be something you would come to regret in years to come even if the whole sordid espisode went undetected (which is unlikely).


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    Well maybe you just know thick people. Ive always found out everything and was never tricked. i always found the truth and people around me always found out the truth. So unless you live in a bubble its highly unlikely. Theres going to be somebody who knows...who tells their mate, who puts a photo on Facebook, who's friend see's this, who tells the neighbour who lives next door to the person he's shaggging, then the misses finds the credit card bill or receipt in the post for the hotel...etc...You get the drift. Very difficult to hide people's tracks these days.

    Ooooooh nice swipe!

    Very close to just replying with a roll eyes, but people who do that are twats.

    Read the first three lines of what you just wrote and think about the massive flaw in that piece of logic. I'll spell it out if you can't see it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,599 ✭✭✭BumbleB


    There are plenty of examples where this knd of thing has gone horribly wrong.

    What is the husband found out and the woman claimed you assaulted her? ,where would you be then? .Up **** creek without a paddle.

    This isn't a diss against females , but Women lie through their teeth to get out of situations .


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭magneticimpulse


    People find out because they themselves slip up when they are having an affair. I live in another country and still I find out about affairs which are happening back home. Thats 1500km away. It shows you that, yes the truth does come out eventually. Yes the girlfriend will find out, yes the husband will find out....its always the way. It might not be today or tomorrow, but few weeks down the road it will most definitely resurface.

    Is that worth the risk for a bit of crap sex?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,897 ✭✭✭Kimia


    BumbleB wrote: »
    There are plenty of examples where this knd of thing has gone horribly wrong.

    What is the husband found out and the woman claimed you assaulted her? ,where would you be then? .Up **** creek without a paddle.

    This isn't a diss against females , but Women lie through their teeth to get out of situations .

    So do men. Maybe you should have said 'people lie through their teeth to get out of situations...'

    I'd say the OP has gone ahead and done it. He hasn't checked back in and told us what his decision is - maybe he just posted here to boast?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,599 ✭✭✭BumbleB


    Kimia wrote: »
    So do men. Maybe you should have said 'people lie through their teeth to get out of situations...'

    in hindsight I agree. :)


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