I am sexually frustrated

LegacyUser

Im sorry if this is going to be graphic but I need advice.

I'm a woman in my late 20's. I have been single for the past couple of years. Happily single may I add because I don't have time for a relationship.

This leads me to my problem. I am frustrated, sexually. No amout of masterbation works no matter what I use to help me along. Nothing beats the real thing.

I have created a profile on a certain site looking for no strings attached fun. At this stage, I would have no problem what so ever to meet a randomer of the internet, go for a dinner date, then to a hotel. Hovever theres one thing stopping me. What if someone I know finds out. I would be afraid of earning a name for myself. I know a lot of people that would be very quick to call bad names to others for little or no apperent reasons. Mostly women talking bad about other women, like calling them a slapper for the way they dress or something. Also would what I am planning be regarded as desperate.

So thats problem one. Problem number two is that, when I was in my early 20s and going out with someone I enjoyed a particular fetish. I suggested it once to him, and thankfully he took to it, and we enjoyed it on a regular basis. Being single for so long, it means that I haven't done anything in that regard for a long time. Its a weird one, its golden showers. Within the past few months, I have been having dreams about them, where I would wake in the morning and find the bed soaking wet. Its embarassing trying to clean up a wet mess some mornings in case I get caught by the people I live with.

Nevyn

There are adult fetish website out there, I am sure you will find them in google.

A quiet one

lonely.lady wrote: »

I have created a profile on a certain site looking for no strings attached fun. At this stage, I would have no problem what so ever to meet a randomer of the internet, go for a dinner date, then to a hotel. Hovever theres one thing stopping me. What if someone I know finds out.

Firstly, can't you edit your profile so as to mention you fetish preference.
& Secondly; I don't really follow the fear of being caught. By who? Someone else who is checking out those adds? Surely then if they say anything, they too have been rumbled?

LegacyUser

try fetlife.com or another such fetish based site. That one is surprsingly sane, devoid of chavvy creeps such as those on PoF, and basically works like a facebook site for those with fetishes.

As for not wanting to be discovered by someone you know....people have casual sex. Its not a big deal anymore. On the off chance that the hotel manager happens to be your cousin it really doesn't look bad that a woman and man are checking in to a room together. Just be sure to close the hotel room door and you're sure not to scandalise society too badly.

Denerick

Seriously though OP, the amount of men in the world who want 'no frills' sex is beyond the computational abilities of all of the worlds supercomputers combined. Look around, but do it discreetly!

Black Magic

What's the fetish?

Denerick

Black Magic wrote: »

What's the fetish?

I believe golden showers involve each sexual partner urinating on each other. To each their own and all that.

Black Magic

Does it involve drinking the urine? Do you clean it up straight afterward or lie in it until morning?

Silverfish

Black Magic, that is not particularly on-topic or helpful to the OP.

shellyboo

Black Magic wrote: »

Does it involve drinking the urine? Do you clean it up straight afterward or lie in it until morning?

Google is your friend.

Op, they're all right - nobody needs to know yoo're meeting men for casual sex, or to cater to your fetish. All you need tell people is that you have a date - full disclosure about exactly what you're doing isn't necessary. There are plenty of sites out there fir you to find someone, and plenty of guys who are into your same fetish - I've dated two and I'm not even into it.

Stop fretting and just go for it - but be careful!

krudler

op if you're that worried about people finding out (i dont know how though?) then maybe go to a different city or town for a weekend after arranging to meet someone? that being said aside from the fetish thing then pretty much any bar or club on a weekend would accomodate you getting no frills sex from a guy, its much easier in most cases for a woman to pull a guy than vice versa

Soul Stretcher

Welcome to the world of the single man !! Well those who aren't good at "pulling" in bars and clubs anyway. Don't take this the wrong way OP, but it's actually refreshing seeing a woman having the same issue !

As others have suggested the Internet is probably your friend (I havn't used those sites myself but I'm sure you'll find like-minded people there). Just be careful. Meet in a public place first etc.

Meeting in a neighbouring city/town would also help your privacy.

Stu77

Head into Copper Face Jacks next weekend. Stand at the bar and smile. Bingo. Taxi to the skylon hotel (very cheap) with the lucky guy.

I'm assuming you live in Dublin. If not, swap the above for your local meat market and equivalent Bates Motel. Don't be worrying about getting caught. Sure, your single. You aren't doing anything wrong. If someone looks down on you for having the occassional fling/one night stand then tell them to take a hike.

aidan24326

lonely.lady wrote: »

Howvever theres one thing stopping me. What if someone I know finds out. I would be afraid of earning a name for myself. I know a lot of people that would be very quick to call bad names to others for little or no apperent reasons.

To hell with what anyone else thinks. As others have said, all anyone needs to know is you're going on a date, the details of what transpires from there on is nobody's business but yours.

Also would what I am planning be regarded as desperate.

No, absolutely not. I haven't used dating sites myself, but I've noticed in the last while that it's becoming more popular, and that old stigma of it being for desperados is long gone. I think lots of people are seeing it as a viable option now, and a bit of fun even if it doesn't lead to anything serious.

Problem number two is that, when I was in my early 20s and going out with someone I enjoyed a particular fetish. I suggested it once to him, and thankfully he took to it, and we enjoyed it on a regular basis.

People have suggested fetish sites so that's one option. I don't know how many people would be into your particular fetish, but the internet is certainly your friend in that regard. I hope it works out for you.

Shazam69

Hi there, well like you i have some fetishes/fantasies etc. and was lucky enough to get them fulfilled through various websites and meeting like minded women. I know you are taking a risk meeting up with random people etc but 9/10 it has worked out for me.

If you do want the names of these websites drop me a private message and I'll pass them on.

edwardevans

I think you should go for it.
what age are you by the way?

LegacyUser

God I wish there were more like op.

magneticimpulse

there are plenty of women like OP. women have sex in relationships, but equally long for sex when we are single....we are all human at the end of the day. you make it sound like its a shock horror thing. welcome to irish society. i was part of a fetish website and these other types and was very open about it to my ex boyfriend (obvisously before i met him) and he put it against me. didnt like the thoughts of his girlfriend ever being on one of these sites.

people will only find out if they are into that as well!! if people you know find out about it, its most likely because they are into it too.

as for the copper face jacks comment...that place never works for me, no amount of smiling works...there are too many women flinging themselves at men you nearly have to form a queue.

dylano_k

Denerick wrote: »

I believe golden showers involve each sexual partner urinating on each other. To each their own and all that.

I think golden showers are fine(not that i'v had the experience), its mudbaths where i draw the line.

Judging by the 1st post, i can't imagine you'll have a problem getting someone for that.