Drop the dead donkey.

Pighead

Poor old Ringo. Poor old Pighead.

The day started off like every other. Pighead woke up, put on his riding boots, jodhpurs and hard hat and headed for the back field where Ringo, John and George were lazily lying around chewing the fat. Marched straight over to Ringo at which point he started playing the usual game of "Running away from Pighead pretending he doesn't love to be mounted"

Eventually caught him and before you could say "Ha! Schoolboy error running into that corner Ringo" Pighead was on the great beasts back. As we strode off across the field that old familiar feeling of invincibility came across us both. We felt like we were heading into battle and we were about to conquer whole nations. Pighead cursed the fact that there was no wind and that he had got his hair cut two days previously as this would have been an ideal moment for a slow motion, wind blowing through the hair moment.

We went faster and faster and faster and then BANG! We stopped. Or to be more exact Ringo did.
The beautiful hairy donkey was dead. It was probably the saddest donkey death related moment of Pighead's life and the only thing that eased the pain was the slight hint of a smile etched across poor Ringo's face.

Over the next couple of days debate raged in the village as to the cause of Ringo's death. Some said that Pighead had rode him too hard (:cool:) and had caused the poor beasts heart to explode while others said it was nobodys fault and that the donkeys heart had exploded out of pure happiness.

Anyway as Pighead looks across the meadows now and watches George and John lament the loss of their pal, he wonders has anybody else ever killed an animal and if so how did you do it?

OutlawPete

Pighead wrote: »

anybody else ever killed an animal and if so how did you do it?

He died Pighead, nobody killed him

I hit a cat one time, many moons back

Pighead

OutlawPete wrote: »

He died Pighead, nobody killed him

Thanks for trying to make Pighead feel better OutlawPete but donkeys don't just die whilst in their prime. They have a very long life span and tend to live for donkey's years.

Nah, Pighead must have rode him too hard across the meadows. The signs were all there. Flailing tongue, distressing braying and a trail of donkey poo being left in our wake. Sometimes you just have to man up and accept that you're a murderer.

deaddonkey

poor donkey

bonerm

How heavy are you Pighead? You may have just been to much for old Ringo to carry.

Agricola

This angers me and amuses me at the same time........... :mad:

IvySlayer

What do you call a three legged donkey?

WONKEY!! :D:pac:

Pighead

bonerm wrote: »

How heavy are you Pighead? You may have just been to much for old Ringo to carry.

Pighead's not quite sure exactly how heavy he is but if he were to give you a rough estimation he would probably say somewhere in between a television and a wardrobe. Both of which a donkey should be able to carry with ease. Definitely don't think his death was caused by weight issues.

NothingMan

If only we could get you on the next Shrek film, that's one Donkey i'd like to see dead.

BraziliaNZ

It was an AWFUL sitcom

bonerm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

It was an AWFUL sitcom

Agreed.

"blah blah blah .... Norman Lamont."
"blah blah blah .... John Major"

Pighead

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

It was an AWFUL sitcom

Ok it wasn't great but yer man Gus Hedges had some good management speak lines.

"Sorry, Helen, had a bit of a composure shortfall earlier."

"Helen, if I could just park in your mental multi-story a moment..."

"Jill, could you come for a brief scuba in my think tank? "

"We're merely running our bulletins through the cappucino machine of innovation, see if it comes out frothy. "

Yeah alright maybe it was awful. Maybe Pighead should change the thread title to "Fawlty Towers"

WindSock

Sorry to hear of your donkey, Pighead. They are lovely creatures. At least there are 2 more to keep each other company. In Ringo's honour, I am going to join a donkey page on facebook.

EL_Loco

If you were to employ CSI to find out the COD you would most likely find that one of the other donkeys had a grudge and placed a rare type of plant ringo was highly allergic to in the field, thus killing him.

If you employ taggart you would find it was due to a crazed, alcoholic, serial donkey killer.

murder she wrote would find ringo was due a large inheritance.

ermmm,,,, continue.....

phasers

No Paul, Pighead?

Sean Quagmire

DID SOMEONE SAY DONKEY?!!!!

Pighead

It is with great sadness that I receive the news of your great loss this morning. Poor donkey, and indeed poor Pighead. If its any consolation, this

Pighead wrote: »

They have a very long life span and tend to live for donkey's years.

made me break my bolllix laughing. Good to see that even in times of great hardship, you bring a smile to others. Chin up, old bean.

Btw, whatever happened to Paul?

Edit: Damn you phasers!!!! *shakes fist*

Pighead

phasers wrote: »

No Paul, Pighead?

Unfortunately poor old Paul was the first of the gang to die. Died back in 99. Was bitten by a crazed rabid dog outside his shed on the Upper West Side of his field.

A few weeks after the attack Pighead was sitting in his "Thinking Chair" when a thought suddenly struck him. Whilst watching George and John graze (together yet alone) it struck Pighead that it was Paul and Ringo who had died first whereas in the Beatles it was John and George who had died leaving Paul and Ringo grazing together alone..

Wasn't sure exactly what this represented but put forward a shoddy theory involving parallel universes and animals taking the form of dead rockstars in various fields around the world. Got to thinking about uncle Jim's goat out in Cooley who people used to say bore a remarkable resemblance to Marc Bolan from T-Rex. Fell asleep then.

bonerm

Strange that your donkeys are dying in (possibly) reverse-Beatle-order. Let us know if you kill George next.

Pighead

bonerm wrote: »

Strange that your donkeys are dying in (possibly) reverse-Beatle-order. Let us know if you kill George next.

Even stranger was the fact that Ringo was by far the most talented donkey. He was the best donkey in his field.

bonzodog2

I hope you've nominated him for the No-Bell prize for being outstanding in his field then

AnonoBoy

Drop the Dead Donkey wasn't half as bad as RTE's god awful rip-off Extra, Extra

Now that was a pile of steaming donkey sh*te right there.



In relation to your question Pighead, I have never killed an animal personally but I do enjoy the fruits of other murderer's labours regularly.

Hmmmmmmm.... steak!

The Hill Billy

This is a kick-ass thread in "the bucket" sort of way.