Really need your advice...

Dazzler88

Really could do with some help on this one.Let me give ya a bit of the background.

I started dating my 2nd cousin in July.We never felt like cousins as she grew up in London and i only got to know her 12 months ago.At first it was great,we discussed the fact we were related and said we'd not let what other people say bother us.

Things were great,we got on the best and always had fun together.A few different nights we were out and people was giving me slead remarks about how I was dating my cousin.It didnt bother me but I told her about it all the same.She didnt pass any heed of it either.I would always tell her when someone said something to me and sometimes we laughed about it because it was always from people who didnt like me already.

Then at Halloween,she decided that it may be best we go back to being friends because we could never change the fact that were related.So I said grand even tough I knew I was still crazy about her.

I didnt see much of her then until Christmas.I met her out and we'd always go to the Bar for a drink together.She was telling me how she wanted to text me the previous week but didnt think she could.I said not to be silly and that she could text me anytime.We flirted for ages that night and spent most of the night chatting but nothing happened,as I felt she had moved on and wasnt interseted.

The next night I met her out she went out of her way to see me and we ended up drinking together again but dopey me still never read the signs.Long story short,she ended up being with this guy that was after her for ages.He is a nice guy.After this every night out over Christmas and New Years she has been with him.

I'm seriously regretting not making a move that first weekend before Christmas.What should I do?This new guy is sound and if he makes her happy thats the main thing but I cant help but wonder if I had made a move,how would she have reacted???
Should I be telling this to her???

starchild

I think yes if you want to be with her , you should tell her exactly that.

She may or may not say yes but at least you will know, on the subject of you being related i would respectfully suggest you talk to somebody with a knowledge of genetics to see if there is any risks in terms of having children. Its not an area i know anything about but if you got together it may become an issue someday

best of luck

Taltos

If you do end up getting together - then please do check out the genetics or google it now as I think that there is some weird thing about either 2nd or 3rd cousins where the chance of an abnormality is more likely. - Now I am purely going off an old memory here - but please do check it out.

However - look - I know you are into her - but the same night you were flirting with her she went off with another guy??? I mean to say do you really want to be with someone who clearly is so into you she jumped into bed with the next guy she chatted/flirted with after 2 nights of flirting with you?
Unless of course she didn't know you were flirting - it is possible...

Dazzler88

Taltos wrote: »

but the same night you were flirting with her she went off with another guy???...

the thing is she didnt sleep with this guy,they just kissed and she didnt do it on front of me.

One of the nights she was with him was at the GAA dinner dance.she sat at the table with me,which wasnt usually because we get on really well.This lad kept come over to try and talk to her,so like an eejet i left them to it.Later on that night i was on my way up to my hotel room and i met them walking together,she stopped me and asked if it was 'Ok if she stayed in my room'.Of course i said no problem,we slept in the same bed but nothing happened.The other lad also had a room,I wonder why she didnt stay with him?

I think there could be 2 reasons:
1)She wanted something to happen between us.

2)She didnt want to stay with him incase he was looking for sex and she wouldnt do that with a guy she was only with a few times.

I'm such an eejet for not making a move.

Dazzler88

starchild wrote: »

I think yes if you want to be with her , you should tell her exactly that.

thanks for the advice.out of what I qrote,so you think there is any sign she may have been interseted?
I dont want to sound desperate by asking her.She may be content with this other guy and I definetely dont want to screw things up for me.

I get on very well with this lads(we will call him Sean) mate,his mate says that this guy was worried everytime he seen me and her chatting over xmas,that we would get back together.

Sean's mate reckons I had my chance and didnt take it and not to ruin what someone esle's chances.Would you agree???

starchild

Dazzler88 wrote: »

thanks for the advice.out of what I qrote,so you think there is any sign she may have been interseted?
I dont want to sound desperate by asking her.She may be content with this other guy and I definetely dont want to screw things up for me.

I get on very well with this lads(we will call him Sean) mate,his mate says that this guy was worried everytime he seen me and her chatting over xmas,that we would get back together.

Sean's mate reckons I had my chance and didnt take it and not to ruin what someone esle's chances.Would you agree???

Honestly i cant really tell whether she is interested or not, you both are obviously good friends and it may be that she just sees you as that. She halted your relationship due to the fact that you both are related so it may be that this is an issue that is to big for her to overcome.

These are all just maybes though, you wont know unless you talk to her. Be prepared to accept her answer though and try be happy for her no matter what.

As regards the other guy its never nice to break anyone up but you can only do what feels right for you. It ultimatly is her decision.

Taltos

Agreed - talk to her.
All this wondering is just doing your head in.

Call her now - ask to meet for coffee tomorrow and just let her know that you are happy she was happy and as per another thread you wish it had been you. Then leave it to her and wait to see if she suddenly ends the other relationship - if she does - brilliant..

Dazzler88

starchild wrote: »

Honestly i cant really tell whether she is interested or not, you both are obviously good friends and it may be that she just sees you as that. She halted your relationship due to the fact that you both are related so it may be that this is an issue that is to big for her to overcome.

These are all just maybes though, you wont know unless you talk to her. Be prepared to accept her answer though and try be happy for her no matter what.

As regards the other guy its never nice to break anyone up but you can only do what feels right for you. It ultimatly is her decision.

Ya your right I should talk to her.That's the best advice I will get.Thanks for your help.I may even let you know how I got on.:rolleyes: