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Admitted thinking of others...

  • 04-01-2010 3:37pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Chatting with GF last night and she said something that was a little slip of the tongue - from her slip I started questioning her and she eventually admitted that she thinks of other guys when she masturbates and a couple of time while we have had sex...she's said it's natural but when I said then ok I'll think of some girls then next time she got quite and I know she's pissed now, she's really insecure about looks (even though she's a stunner) and I know this is going to be an issue, we just fell asleep in silence with each other and then work this morning so haven't talked.

    For starters, is this normal to think of others? I'm 27, had 3 girlfriends and never have, but if she's at it then to hell with it, I'll start thinking of some girls too. It bothers me even more because she's admitted she's thought of her ex's, her boss and two guys at her work...

    How would anyone else take this? Is it an unspoken thing between couples?


Comments

  • #2
    miec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    I could understand (somewhat) a movie star or something but exs, guys at work etc, I don't know, I don't think of others when I self pleasure, I think of my partner when he is not around but maybe I am the weird one, I don't know. However if she is happy to fantasise about others then you have that right too.


  • #3
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    I think your gf if deeply insensitive and possibly too immature to be involved with someone romantically. Her silence says it all; she's not too fond of the situation once the shoe is on the other foot.


  • #4
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    I'd say everyone does, not necessarily at the beginning of the relationship, but def as it goes on. It's essentially what watching porn is as well.

    As you've found, it's generally best not to discuss the specifics, beyond a joking movie star level (ie "You know I'd never cheat on you...unless Brad Pitt finally calls me back.").

    I think it's only a problem if it's always one specific person (ie if you spend a year only fantasizing about your coworker). Otherwise, you just use it to raise your overall sexual energy and bring it back to the relationship.

    Obviously her saying she does it and then getting annoyed at you for doing it is not on.


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