Can't get over her

Loveloss

Hey everyone, just wandered if I can get this outta my chest and get some clear advice.

I found a girl who I considered to be out of my league back in college (we are both 21 now). She was smart, beautiful, independent and all in all a very well rounded person. We became good friends and soon after I managed to win her heart and be with me. This was the happiest moment I ever had but perhaps maybe I was too ecstatic. I gave her too much love in contrast to her ex who treated her badly. This scared her off and we broke up, that was the first time I was heart broken but with determination I won her back. during the course of the 2 years we were together we were best friends. But we have on more then one occasion braking up and its always been her doing the dumping. However I have always managed to win her back in romantic feats. The longest we stuck at it was more over 9 months. Inevitably she had doubts again and we broke up. I did understand her wanting to dump me though. She says she just can't imagine marrying me, like somehow I don't give her the confidence that I'm independent enough. I understand her because in some respects I agree. Im quite lethargic and I still don't know what I want in life so I don't appear very driven. So far there aren't many Alpha qualities in me. But its natural as I'm still growing into the person I want to be and she admits too i am improving and am much better then the first day she met me (it might sound like i have no self-esteem but I do believe I need a little self-criticism).

However during this whole time we have always been close and usually on/off. Still getting up to stuff we shouldn't if we were not in a relationship. Even up to september (we broke off in before summer) It's only recently has she found a new guy who she is now with have I felt the distance from her immediatly. She was upset about it the first time when I said we can't go back to how we were but now it feels like she has moved on. We are no longer as close as we were. Which is understandable but she makes it look so effortlessly easy. Was I such little impact in her life? I still love her like crazy and would die for her in a second. I know I lost something great but I guess she always had doubts about me being the one. Though I can promise you there were times when she loved me indefinitely.

so what do I do? I know I have to let her go and move on but I just hate the fact I will now miss massive chunks of her life that don't include me. We still have the same circle of friends and I've seen her quite abit. But I feel gutted when I see her. She wants to be my friend again but I know it will never be deep as I want it to be. It hurt when I get on soo well with her whole family whom I all deeply care about. I've been told she's kinda falling for him and I just appear as an emotional wreck to her. I wish I knew a way to show her I can be her man. but are such thoughts just fantasy? How do I make the last impression of me to her a good one. I hate the fact that I have to give up but I think she felt I worshiped her too much.I really love her and knew if I got another chance I'd be in control about it but I think she feels we've had too many chances. Thanks for reading. Feel free to ask me anything to help you guys understand better.

stripysocks85

After 2 years on and off with you, she either knows whether you're the one for her or not. It seems you're not, and you just have to let her go.

If you truly love her, you'll want her to be happy, even if [sadly] it's not with you.

Falcon.ie

Similar enough situation myself recently, we broke up after a lengthy period and I tried winning her back but it didn't go, she seemed to just switch off any affection she had for me overnight and that was that, it stopped with "...Move on I have.." I thought it was fairly heartless to be honest. But that's that, I can't really give you any advice, other that the usual stuff, get busy, do things outside of your norm, it'll take your mind off things.

Loveloss

Thanks for the advice guys. I wish there was another way but I know theres really nothing I can do. She just can't fully commit to me. There would be no point in her ditching a guy she really likes for another uncertain future for me again. I hate the fact that I lost her.
Thanks again =]